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SoulSurvivor
12/13/2015

crows caw and fly south with the wind,
titanic clouds swollen with rain crawl over the mountain pass,
they turn the dirt to mud,
pampering the leaves of their hard day in the gusty sky.
the scenery is darker from my window,
but the earth is so alive.
that damp smell of a wet world,
words won't ever suffice
how cozy it makes me feel.

It is a game of uncertain variables. Tears cool my heated cheeks. Years of pain are distilled into a moment of anxiety.
A hug could hold a mirror to loves last affection. This may be the last good bye. One friend only makes it on holiday weekend, one friend makes it more often, one little brother, comes weekly, father remains behind.
The sounds of a strange city, holds no friends or family for me. They are hundreds of miles away. I am scared. It is the fear of the unknown, the fear of the phone call that says,

“We are sorry for your loss.”

So tonight, I will wait for work to start. My heart will race rapidly with all the anxiety my mind can muster. Even then, if and when I find slumbers silent rest, I know I will still wake with that same ache in my chest. Till, I come home again, off the road for a couple of days.

excuse me, sir
could you take a moment between the puffs of smoke rising from your cigarette
to be yourself again?

When I'm free on Saturday's you come and disturbed me on weekdays.

When I said I don't want anymore, you come and persuaded  me.

When I said I'm done with you, you come and display your interest in me.

When I said, No, you said Yes.

What do you want me to do? Cos I'm so **** confused more than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.