Stephanie: Poems

Home.

Stephanie May 2015

Home.

My mind often wanders
To the most random places at times.
But no matter where it starts
It always finds it's way Home
To her.

*s.c.

Mountain Dew

Stephanie May 2015

Mountain Dew

He was like Mountain Dew.
So sweet and tasteful,
Something nice for those summer days
But in the end,
Mountain Dew is bad for you,
Just like he was bad for me.

*s.c

this is dumb lol

#love #heartbreak #summer #boys

Razor

Stephanie May 2015

Razor

TRIGGER WARNING

                             cold
                         addictive
                          pleasing

           Streaks of red stain my tears.
         Their words replay in my head

                 slash. slash.*

         More marks of disappointment,
           Another step closer to dying,
   When will I finally be done with this?

               No more long sleeves,
                    No more shame,
  I want people to think of a happy girl
          When they hear my name.

  I'm sick of feeling so sick and strange
   All because of how I deal with pain.
                  If you had my life,
         You'd probably do the same.
The razor takes all the bad things away

s.c

I wrote this a long time ago, so it's not as good as I thought it was when I wrote it. As my battle with self-harm and self-hatred continues, I am very proud to say I've gone over 100 days without hurting myself. If anyone has any problems, you are always welcome to message me. Recovery is a long road, but it never hurts to have someone walk with you. If I can do it, so can you. Stay strong, you're worth it.

#suicide #depression #suicidal #selfharm #selfhatred

Rope.

Stephanie Jun 2015

Rope.

you were the last string
on the rope preventing my fall
but then-
you snapped.

s.c

Untitled

Stephanie May 2015

Untitled

Most people think of their someone
During the late hours of the morning,
Or when they're lonely,
But it's 12:45 in the afternoon
And I'm thinking of you.
I always think of you.

*s.c

Why?

Stephanie May 2015

Why?

I spent so much time on you,
Only to have you choose her.

I gave you all I had: my time, my love,
But I still wasn't good enough.

Why?

Was it because I weighed a little more?
Was it because I didn't wear ten pounds of makeup?

Why is it never me? Why am I never good enough?

*s.c

This is not my best work, but it's a serious question. Funny how when you try so hard, someone who looks better always wins.

#heartbreak #coping

Wishes

Stephanie May 2015

Wishes

I wish you could see
The way my eyes light up
When I think of you.

I wish you could feel my heart
When it beats faster at the sound
Of your voice.

I wish you could know
Just how much I love you.

I wish you could return
The same emotion,
But not all wishes come true.

*s.c

#love #heartbreak

— The End —