the constant feeling of that i am crawling out of body, and my soul is stuck in a dark corner.
like a dark shadow is creeping upon me, and i am living in that darkness. the sadness takes over, the criticism takes over.
And i wish it was constructive, i wish it was from a source outside, but it’s me questioning myself.
the pressure builds up and my eyelids gets heavier.
Maybe i could feel lighter, maybe i could explain maybe i had the right words.

head and heart, pool of emotions
I want company, no I don't want anybody
I just want to laugh, but then I just want to cry
these contradictory thoughts, bothers me sometimes
I am never able to decide, even if i rack my mind
who am I?
Is my inability to express shows that
I am an empty body with no soul.

You were crying
Howling
Upset
Depressed
Maybe
And repeteadly
Blamed me for it

Now its enough
I can't take it anymore

I blame you

I blame you
For the times i hit myself
And you looked away.

I blame you
For the times i were
On my knees begging
You not to go
But you left.

I blame you
For the days I
Cried so much
That no tears were left to shed.

I blame you
For all the pain
I felt in my chest.

I blame you
For closing me
Up into a nutshell.

I blame you
For stealing my
Confidence and self respect.

I blame you
For driving me insane
And all the headaches.

I blame you
For not letting me be myself
And converting me
Into a mannequin.

I blame you
For ripping me apart
And my soul.

But whats the point of blaming you
Doesnt bring me back or you
Its just a game where we just blame.

I am tired of
trying to pretend
But Masquerade *****
are not my thing.

We were just an idea
An abstract concept
But still "we" was
A destination I
Was ready to visit.
As i hopped on from
one train to another
I missed a station.
I reached a point
From where there was
No return
I was stranded
Alone
On an island
I was Lost.

what? she shouts
what do they want?
how many, she counts
how many more commands

bounded by shackles
but, she tries to calm down
wondering in vain
when will she get out.

happy is what she needs to be
and thinking isn;t helping in anyway
putting up a bold smile
she walks and talks
but inside all she does is shout, shout and shout.