If I told you about my November would you tell me about yours?
You always said these things get easier with time, but I’m still waiting.
I’ll mark today down in all my calendars and I’ll get back to you.
3 years wasn’t long enough to forget.
As much as I want to love you, I can’t stand your pity,
And I can’t stand my own fear.
All of my heroes become my villains,
And I’m desperate for something to believe in
Now that I can’t believe in you.
I learned the hard way that I can’t rely too heavily on anyone,
Because once I do they get scared and they leave.
The things that scar me are the things that will scare you
And you will leave too.

You remind me of Paris

You remind me of the main streets
So bright and fast I'm out of breath
Someplace I never knew I needed

You remind me of the kids who sit and smoke by the river
The ones who only need themselves
Their independence is admirable, but it's their own personal hell

You remind me of the street vendors
The way you demand my attention
No matter how hard I try, I can't look away

You remind me of the museums
So captivating and fascinating
The parts of yourself that you put on display
So dull in comparison to what you keep hidden

You remind me of the cafes
So effortlessly cool
A calm in all of the chaos

You remind me of Paris
Diverse and indescribable
Something you have to love to understand

All I ever wanted was for someone to care
And when you did I was confused
I spent that night lying in bed trying to solve it
You have the brightest eyes and the strongest smile
Why would you infect yourself with something broken?
It's just your nature
You see an unfinished project and you want to complete it,
Add it to your list
But you get busy again
And I get brushed under a rug
The real world, a better world, is calling
And it will always be louder than me
Because you left before you taught me how to scream

You remind me of the flowers,
That grow on the side of the highway.
You're the most alluring kind of ****,
Gorgeous but deadly.
It's always the beautiful things that ****.

Did you hurt me because I was like you?
Or because I needed someone like you?
Can I still pretend it was unintentional?

What do you see when you when you close your eyes,
When the sound cuts off in the midst of the chaos,
And your mind takes you to a place you forgot?

Do you remember living in the eye of the storm,
Fearing the moment the calm would pass?
Was the silence ever worse than the mess?

Do you still sleep on the same side of the bed?
Or did you change that too,
When you reinvented yourself in the image of a dream?

I believe there's another world,
Where you got the life you deserved.
And we never met,
But I'm still enchanted by the light in your eyes,
And the warmth in your smile.
Because I'll always be a victim of the beautiful things.