Everyone has all gone, I'm left
On my own I guess
She has found someone new
That makes her smile shine on through

I never thought I'd be good enough
To make this song last so long
I'm stuck pretending that I'm mature enough
To take all of this on

Constant breathing paranoia
Stuck inside my 'magination
I tried to build my castle up strong
But I ****** it up and made it all wrong

My head is buried in my hands
I want to travel to distant lands
Just to see if you would follow me there
So I can finally know that you care
You told me to be quiet
Don't tell anyone our secret
But I can barely hold it in
I feel like I could trip and
Than you wont want me around
You wont want me around

My organs are at war
My heart is left bleeding
As my brain continues punishing it
And my stomach is left sick in the rubble

Lets play the game
Like every morning
A sort of Russian roulette
Between me and me

My brain brings up painful reminders
To my heart which is soon to surrender
It tries to keep fighting
Which only makes me weak

I can't keep this going
Never ending feeling of impending doom
Sorrow on replay

I had a dream we were stuck in the desert
A beautiful oasis forming at the basis of our feet
When a group of soldiers came right out of the mirage
Shot you down
And left me to die
Right by your side
Then I realized that I would join you there soon

Either under the eyes of the Saharan Sun
Or by the gift given from the trigger of my gun
I had to make a choice, one I could no longer live with
I'm tired of staring down
This barrel
Waiting for
The bullet to make its move

You came to me like an astronaut
Unafraid while others ran away
From my ship hidden among
All the forgotten and unwanted
You talked to me like you understood me
Like you knew me or saw right through me
You made me feel like I could be apart of
What I always wanted
You made me feel like a human being

It felt so real when I had to close your eyes
Couldn't keep pretending that you were still alive
With shaky hands, I pointed the barrel at my mind
And just sat there
Thinking twice
All about taking my life
Just sat there
Unable to move
Pulled real hard
Only to
Wake up in my own bed
It still felt like you were dead

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/saharan-sun

What is the color blue?
Is it a human emotion?
Or is it just another
Meaningless color?
My entire life
Could be reduced
To an empty color
That never met much to you

And what is a word?
Is it a creature?
Or is it an icon
Left to interpretation?
Oblingattoh-tay
What the hell did I just say?
When you said you loved me
What the hell did that even mean?

Everyone
Is singing the same song
And I can't sing along anymore
I can't join in
This perfect unison
Of broken voices
In monotone
Yeah, I need more
Than your empty, practiced words
That we all have heard
Before and Again

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/blue

Stuck on the side of the road
Confused with no where to go
People can see me,
Yet they keep on walking
Away, with nothing to say

Fear and anger holding me down
Just trying to reach out
Try and say hello
But I don't really know
How to make a sound

In a world full of opinions
I'm lost between what's fact and fiction
The universe is screaming
Yet no one is changing
As the world remains idle

Brain filled with haunting words
As my heart desire burns
Bottling down this riot
Just to keep quiet
For you what can I do?

Don't tell me how to be a man
Cuz I wont ever understand
How living in this binary
That tries to define me
Can be good for me

In a world full of opinions
I'm lost between what’s fact and fiction
The universe is screaming
Yet we keep on fighting
Arguments that don't go anywhere

All of your words and
All of your opinions
Cast it down a deep well
That no one dare drinks from
No one wants to listen
To what you have to sell

All of your words and
All of your hatred
Can only harden your heart
If one tried to love you, you
Wouldn't know what to do
How can you open your heart?
If you don't know where to start?

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/the-universe-is-screaming

I don't want to listen to your ******* today
'Cos you never really have anything good to say
Empathy is dying away
Free to judge and to abdicate
You’re just hiding behind cruel words
That wont ever get you anywhere

Every one is walking around at night
Trying to find their own piece of sunlight
Shady figures roaming the alley way
Just trying to survive the day
Always under constant judgment
By people who don't know them

All the agreements you've made
To everything that they've said
Have seem to found a way
Deep inside
To brake the pride you once held on to

Don't include me in your bitter battle
Of Politic, gender, religion and orientation
‘Cos I’m getting a headache
Just trying to fix my mistakes
It really is a shame
When humans act inhumane

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/bitter-battles

Woke up to a nightmare
Where gravity disappeared
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there
Bright florescent light
Hiding away midnight
It's just not the same
It doesn't feel right

All this pretending
Is bringing me nothing
All this anger
Is making me more empty
Scrambling around in mid-air
Just to find no one's there

Spending everyday
Breaking under pressure
Over digging countless holes
For some kind of treasure
Just to have someone
Fill them back up
Send me out again
And tell me I'm worthless

All this pretending
Is bringing me nothing
All this anger
Is making me more empty
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there

And I don’t know where I’ll go
If this light bulb should break
Falling down into a deep darkness
That I’ve tried so hard to escape
The same darkness I have made

There are plenty of fish in the sea
But none like you
As the bottom feeders sank so low
We swam way up high
But we fell into a whirlpool
And I didn't take it right
Don't want any drugs
Don't want any alcohol
Just want you to know
I'm still here after all
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/mid-air