I can tell you’re feeling nervous,
I can feel it near your ******,
But you’re fine, you’re doing perfect,
I’d like to thank you for your service,
I am seven inches deep,
And I’m hurting you on purpose,
My **** puts you to sleep,
With the excitement of a circus,
I hit the spot, you make a peep,
I think that moan of yours is perfect,
You’re a snack, I’m a treat,
Today the lust is lurking.

Inhale, ****,
Take a rip,
Then lean in closer.
Exhale, smoke,
Lock your lips,
With rose and clover.
Decide tomorrow's fate,
By tonight's,
Hand guidance.
Before it gets too late,
Let's take flight,
I'll let you ride this.
Take off bracelets,
Turn off lights,
And tuck away the lighter.
Under blankets,
You hold me tight,
And I'll hug back tighter.
Interlocking thighs,
Sleepy tension steep.
You stare into my eyes,
Then you drift off to sleep.
We snuggle in your bed,
My new nightly commute.
I kiss your forehead,
And whisper, "I love you."

Too many things to get done
They overflow my brain
Made me feel like I need to punch something
And walk
Walk far far away

I tell my mother
And plead
I know it's late
But I need this for me

She says
"Max four blocks"

I seem to teleport outside
It couldn't take a shorter amount of time for me to leave

I walk
Blast my music
And I take off my jacket
Even though it's cold
Even though it makes me shiver
I need to feel something
Even if that's all it is


Music intensifies
I want to run
And I'm done holding back
Acting normal
Acting calm
So I run
As fast as I can
Hands in the air
With the occasional spin

What a powerful feeling
The night is mine
The sky is on my side
And I can run

I smile
The most genuine smile
In weeks
Maybe months
While I cry

I
Feel
Alive

For the first time
In what feels like forever

I sit on a tree stump
And stare at the sky
Look at the stars
And reach out to mine

Music filling my heart
My jacket beside me
I like the uncomfortable cold

I wave at planes going by
They say "goodbye new jersey" in their waves
And I say back
"Goodbye"
They don't even know it

Shivering
Crying
Looking lost and strange to any stranger
Yet I feel so free

I don’t think I can ever tell my friends
how much I love them.

I don’t really think they’d understand.

Sometimes, I love them so much
I think I’m selfish,
because if it were my way,
we would spend the rest of eternity—

playing games,
watching videos,
on call.

The only time I really feel happy,
or at least one of the only times anyway.

Is that selfish?

Because, like—
They have futures,
other people to spend time with.

I think that might be selfish,
if we didn’t have school,
so we could call all day.

Although,
I guess it’s dumb to assume
that’s what they want to do all day.

Roblox is only so much fun, I guess.

But for me, though,
that might be paradise,
because if I wasn’t—
I might lose another thing I love.

Magnifying glass, a preacher’s eye,
You held it steady, watch the edges fry.
Her smile curling like a silent crime,
Promises snapping, one wail at a time.

Sirens call.
They call you home.

Cigarette burns where her lips once lived,
A paper throat, and you’re unforgiven.
The smoke uncoils like a serpent’s hymn,
In the ruins of her, your fingers swim.

And she’s tasting something holy,
A chemical prayer on her tongue.
While your stranger smiles slowly,
His palm says run.

Oh, you’re tracing lifelines,
Marking graves on borrowed skin.
Childhood shadows, beasts still whispering,
When no one could save her, where were you then?

Where were you then?

She claws at the mirror where her ghost resides,
Fighting sleep, fighting him,
Fighting years she thought she’d outrun—
Oh, but trauma’s a promise kept in blood.

And it’s no longer safe for you here,
Not in the ruins where her voice disappeared.
Sirens wail but don’t baptize.
A stranger’s smile, a forest gone numb,
And a ******* fire with nowhere to run.

No, no—
Nowhere to run.

it's the small victories
that can mean
the most