I loved you...I really loved you.
But that "D" at the end of the word love,
is liberation.
Past tense freedom, from feeling dumb,
and tense and tired,
and numb and dense ,
uninspired love needed that "D", for proper punctuation.

Ending a love that faded,
with too many tries, wasted time, and de ja vu goodbyes.
It’s not just you I leave behind, it's the person that I was when we met.
Two of us, two years in,
in two years, we both grew, into fears
and far from respect.
That "D" at the end of the word love,
means love is possible again, just not with you.
And unlike just being friends,
or sticking with it until the end, of time,
I’m, being realistic, and finding truth.

Who made who so sadistic?
Angry and twisted, just 2 misfits throwing ***** fits.
Is true love truly so egotistic?
Asking a biased source, so of course it is, kid.
Passion ran it’s course, now my pain is specific.
A lack of reciprocation, mixed with a growing distance.
Because as I grew, I grew farther from you,
as I tried so hard to stay close,
in hopes, that if properly approached,
I can fix us both.
But I may have just been fixing something that wasn’t broke.

With time, you stole parts of my heart, soul, and mind that can never be returned.
A third of my heart is left inside lessons learned, so the next 3 words that come out of my mouth,
are “I loved you”.
And that "D" at the end of love,
is the only way that I can rise above, what we are, and call it was, cause it’s history.
And if I don’t learn from it, I’m doomed to repeat it.
In tune with what I need, in need to seek out me, and lose the we.
It’s true that I loved you, but the God's honest truth is I never loved you as much as I love me.

And I hope you understand how that could be.

it's funny how i kept going back to you.
i was told time and time again how you
didn't want anything more, and I tricked
myself into believing that I didn't either.
I truly believed that I was content with a
weekend romance mixed with friendly hello's.

But I was wrong.

I wanted you to ask me how I was doing and
I wanted to tell you that I'm falling apart.
I was drawn to your calm state of mind because
it seemed like everyone around me was moving
and I was standing still and I wanted to stand still
with you.
I wanted to have someone who felt the same and
I thought it could be you but I didn't realize that
I couldn't make you want that too.
You didn't want to be tied down by a girl overwhelmed
by her dreams and you didn't want to spend time
talking to someone who had the potential to ruin
the tranquility you had so carefully established.
And I understood that, but I couldn't accept it.

But I am finally accepting it.
I'm letting you go and I will be better for it.
And maybe if I keep telling myself that enough,
I'll believe it.

lies heavy upon me

in the mashed potatoes to my left
the beer on my right

the "if onlys"
and
"what ifs"
that weigh on my heart

the
"i'll get up and run!"
followed by
"****, i'm too tired."

the
"help me,
come to this,
i need you,
don't forget the early meeting,
we need you,
come over here now,
help me."

step by step by step by step by step by step

the day progresses

and ends in a
beer to my right
mashed potatoes to my left

i will always run

tomorrow.

“Dear mirror on the wall, what must I do to be fairest of them all?”
“You are searching in the wrong places.  Outward appearance is but a fading rose.  From the heart true beauty flows.”  
“My heart is as good as anyone elses.”
“If you are as confident as you speak, go ahead and take a peak.”
Her reflection in the image began to blur and her heart was revealed in the glass.  To her astonishment it had been darkened by her sins and lack of love.
“Tell me mirror, what spell must I cast to restore my heart?”
“A spell is not the answer nor key, its acts of true love that you need.”  “Love is dead! Just like my dear old husband.”
“There is no hope for the heart that does not believe in love.”
“So tell me dear mirror, who is the fairest of them all?”
“Vanity is vain and you are wasting your time, but if you must know there is one whose beauty is sublime.”  
“Who is this one that you speak of?”
“One whose heart is pure and uncontaminated, the one who lives in this very castle with you.  It is not her pale skin that makes her beautiful, nor her raven hair and red lips, but her kind spirit and faith in love.”  
“Snow White! It can’t be!”  
“What I say is true whether or not you choose to believe.”
“Then I’ll corrupt her beauty.”
“The only way to corrupt her beauty is by corrupting her heart.”
“Then her heart I shall corrupt.”