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Nov 15 · 20
Hands
Ash Nov 15
Your hands are warm
Your hands are soft
They're rough but gentle
They're cold but comforting
I like your hands...
I want to hold them...
If that's okay with you...
waaaaaaaaa
Nov 15 · 15
Another world
Ash Nov 15
You're from another world
One where you got to be a kid
Where you have dessert after dinner
And toys under the tree
An allowance at the end of the week
And a family who cares about you
A world that looks heavenly
From this pit I call life
I didn't get dinner, let alone dessert
My Christmas lights where the red and blue and from police cars
I changed diapers and got the kids to school
While my family fought to not have me
You and I come from different worlds
Yours is a haven
While mine is a purgatory
Nov 14 · 243
Not him
Ash Nov 14
His were blue
So yours were brown
He was cruel
So you were kind
At least on the outside
Maybe all you were
Was not him
Nov 1 · 43
older
Ash Nov 1
I was never one to believe
That age is just a number per say
I've always felt one should stay within their range
And then I looked into his eyes

What a collosile hypocrite I turned out to be

Five years doesn't seem too long
Especially when your chest tells you that you could belong
But when one can drink and the other can't even drive
Maybe it's not even worth the try
Nov 1 · 154
Mother Father
Ash Nov 1
i tried, Mother
i really did, Father
to be your perfect, unwanted, "daughter"
but i'll always be in the shadows of her
i'm drowning in the deep black waters
but your hand goes out to my brothers
why am i still trying to be like the others?
craving praise but hiding even my lovers
because if you knew i could love a 'her'
i'd truly be an outcast forever
and so, after years of being called a mother f**ker
while i was made to suffer
i won't pretend any longer
that i was ever anymore than a stranger
i'm not sorry, Mother
i'm so done, Father
Oct 28 · 27
untitled
Ash Oct 28
I don't know
Where we're gonna go
But I wouldn't mind
If we went side by side
feelin musical today
Ash Oct 28
When you look at me like that
My heart rate goes completely flat
Don't smile like we're in a dream
Cause when you do I can not breathe

Your smile is suffocating me
With your eyes of sage and honey
You make me feel like I could fly
But please stop cause I might d*e
Oct 28 · 92
A little tune
Ash Oct 28
Oh my god, I'm a total klutz
I tripped and fell and I messed it up
Now all the menus are astray
But you smile and say that it's better this way
Idk :)
Oct 27 · 52
all i need
Ash Oct 27
I feel as if I’m on my toes
Reaching up for your hand to hold
But you’re right there smiling at me
And suddenly your eyes are all I need
Oct 26 · 171
Heartbreak
Ash Oct 26
How can the breaker be the broken?
Too much said
So many words left unspoken
Oct 26 · 42
I want to go
Ash Oct 26
I want to go
Far, far from here
Away from the eyes and stares
Away from the heartbreak and tears
To the place where no one knows
Where you and I can be alone
Don't ask cause I don't even know who "you" is....
Oct 21 · 64
eyes brown 2
Ash Oct 21
Hers are carmel and sun
Bright and warm
His are a rich chocolate
Coffee beans and earth
Yours are something else
Warm and earthy and comforting
With sage and honey
Rings of coffee stains and pools of sunlight
I could look into them for hours
If only you'd let me...
Oct 21 · 16
eyes brown
Ash Oct 21
pitch black with anger
golden honey with concern
a thick and rich cup of coffee
or a ray of sun
copper with those little green spots
earth and sage
they're dark and intimidating
they're warm and kind
Please let's just stay like this
Just let me stare into your eyes
Ash Oct 21
I know I shouldn't give you the time of day
But your eyes seem to glow
And I can't make myself look away

With you it doesn't feel like a show
When you look at me with immeasurable concern
I melt and become a lost John Doe
Heyo dummy if you're reading this let me know
Oct 20 · 26
Musical Therapy Rant
Ash Oct 20
I just wanna stay
But everyone’s telling me it’s over
Maybe it’s time to accept our fate
That we were doomed since the start
I've been told to get you off my mind
Cause it hurts my pride just a little
When we’re dancing after death
And I take a defensive stance
Even so-- I hope you’re better off without me
Cause I’ll never be worthy of you
Even if you were just the bad b---h from my highschool
It’ll be alright
Cause I’m so used to letting go
And I guess I expected this all along
So I listen to these songs
Hoping maybe I could have it all
Bruises by Lewis Capaldi
Pride by Noah Kahan & mxmtoon
Dancing After Death by Matt Maeson
Budding Romance by Carson James Argenna
Pâquerette (Without Me) by With Confidence
Worthy Of You by Plested
Bad B***h from my highschool by Karim
Be Alright- Dean Lewis
Oct 1 · 48
moving away
Ash Oct 1
My chest aches
An unbearable pain
Recounting each of my mistakes

I wish I could explain
How we got to this place
And state of stress and strain

Oh how I long for your embrace
And to make my love clear
To close this immense space

My love, so far from here
Please please be okay.
Be okay until I can be there

Until we're not so far away
Until its just the two of us
At the beginning and end of every day.
Ash Sep 29
I reach out for your hand but it’s not there
I feel you drifting away
By definition you’re still mine
But 1723 miles is hard
This distance won’t last forever...
Sep 9 · 48
Burning Castle
Ash Sep 9
Standing on the balcony
Watching my home burn below me
My people wish for my head
Saying I'm the reason their tyrannical king is dead
Though perhaps they're right
That was the result of that night
When my love became a traitor
And I killed my father
But its not that simple
No it ever is when darks and lights intermingle
I did it to save them all
For a new age to rise, the old must fall
A new era of peace across the land
Caused by my hand
And what do I get in return?
A mob chanting for my head as they watch my home burn.
Our king and castle both gone
What will become of our kingdom?
I guess I'll never know
I'll burn or be killed by those down below
Maybe I should give them what they wish
Maybe that's the only way to end this.

I look back at the burning wealth
Before I step off, falling to my--

"Prince!"
Trying to get better at rhyming.. I know it ***** leave me alone and appreciate angsty Prin
Sep 9 · 12
good enough
Ash Sep 9
I know times are rough
But please hear me when I say
You are enough

Sometimes positivity is tough
And you can barely last the say
I know times are rough

Your head gets clouded with toxic fluff
And anxiety screams to run away
You are enough

Its hard to forget this stuff
Repeating round and round on replay
I know times are rough

But remember their words were a bluff
And never mattered anyway
You are enough

So when those thoughts come, simply rebuff
And know I will stay.
I know times are rough.
You are enough.
incase anyone needs this <3
Sep 9 · 517
more than friends
Ash Sep 9
234 days
That's how long
We were just friends.
Sep 8 · 200
endless
Ash Sep 8
dancing endlessly through the night
only you by my side
all I have and all I need
your voice in my ear and your hand in mine
hold me tight and never say goodbye
bleh... emotions...
Aug 22 · 35
outside the binary
Ash Aug 22
i've heard gender is a spectrum
a construct
there aren't two
but infinite genders
and yet
of all those endless possible
titles and pronouns
terms and conditions
how the hell do none of them fit me?
Jul 8 · 245
accidents happen
Ash Jul 8
"Hey sorry I'm late"                                                            ­                             
                                   ­                                                            "Are you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah I just got stuck at work."                                                          
­                                                                 ­                          "I was so worried"
"I'm okay"                                                            ­                                             
                 "I’m sorry I-- You didn’t show up and I-- I started to panic--"
"Okay well I’m here now… I'm okay. Are you?"                                        
                                                      "So what-- Do you think I’m not okay?"
"I-- I didn’t mean it like--"                                                          ­                    
                                                     "You think I’m not okay… I-- I’m okay!"
"Okay"                                                    ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                  "I’m okay."
"O-Okay."                                                 ­                                                         

"Let’s sit dow--"                                                           ­                                    

They slap him across the face.
Their rings cut into his skin.
Blood trickles down his cheek.

                                   "I-- I’m so sorry-- I don’t know what got into me."
"It’s… It’s okay…"                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                        "I’m sorry."
"It’s okay."                                                           ­                                              
                                                                ­                                        "I’m sorry."
"It’s okay. It was an accident."                                                       ­                

It was an accident.

It's always an accident.

They claw his back until he bleeds.

It was an accident.

They push him against a wall.

It was an accident.

He goes to work with a black eye.

"It was an accident."
Jul 7 · 480
his hands
Ash Jul 7
The blue
blue blood covers my cold
cold hands that are so
so empty without his
Fairy boi's back
Apr 2 · 226
Type Lost to Time
Ash Apr 2
It’s an instinctive unease
A lone typewriter sits in neglect
The dust settles into the keys

Everything in the room seemed to freeze
Lost to time in a state of disconnect
It’s an instinctive unease

The lever not set to release
Leaving the platen a dented wreck
The dust settles into the keys

The air hangs stagnant, not so much as a breeze
Leaving the room stale and depressed
It’s an instinctive unease

Some long forgotten face left these
Unused ribbons of ink and stacks of papers forever unchecked
The dust settles into the keys

A scrapped song begging for a reprise
Or a manuscript destined for reject
It’s an instinctive unease
The dust settles into the keys
A poem I wrote for class but my teacher liked it so I thought I'd share it.
Nov 2020 · 440
Fly
Ash Nov 2020
Fly
I wish I could say,
that you’re the one I love.
Maybe one day,
I’ll be brave
But for now, I can only pray
That you stay with me
Even if just one more day
But like a dove
You fly away...
Nov 2020 · 95
Prin's Nonet
Ash Nov 2020
“The war is over, Prince. Just— Relax.”
Cal smiles at me, but I don’t
smile back. As I repeat
My father— my king’s last
Words to me. To his
Unwanted heir.
“You must be
Perfect,
Prince.”
Nov 2020 · 112
The Prince's Sonnet
Ash Nov 2020
Engulfed in a ball of glorious flame
His gift, now a weapon he's forced to wield.
Only eighteen, drafted, and I'm to blame
The Torch stands tall over the battlefield
Stripped of his name and home, to fight this war
That's not his own. His flame spreads fear and pain,
A secret beauty, I watch evermore
From the safety behind the window pane.
Years passed, and I forgot it's vivid burn.
But then, at sea, I found his flame again
We find ourselves at war-- nowhere to turn.
Through thick and thin his hand in mine, and then,
Until the end of time, he will be mine.
The royal light and brilliant flame will shine.
My first attempt at a sonnet. From the prospective of the my oc, the prince. As a bit of context, the Torch is the nickname of a character who has fire abilities (think fire bending) who was drafted into the long-lasting civil war by order of the prince.
Nov 2020 · 98
A Letter from the Prince
Ash Nov 2020
Dearest Mother,
My long lost queen.
Since you passed, the palace
Has been painfully silent.
Horribly cold.
Even without the king.

Father-- our king...
Mother,
when you died he became evermore cold.
He forced me to find a queen.
To stay silent,
Trapped in the palace.

Even in this new palace,
Even with my uncle as king,
Somehow-- it's still silent.
After all these years, I now remember you, Mother,
our queen.
And how your skin has gone cold.

Since that day so many years ago... cold.
I hate this new palace
Without a queen
And a new king.
I miss your voice, Mother
But now-- your hall stays silent.

Everything is silent
And cold.
Mother--
This palace,
This king,
We all need a queen

We need you-- My Queen
You will no longer be silent.
You will restore order and crown me as king.
You will heat the everlasting cold.
You will give life to the palace.
If only you'd return, Mother.

But-- No matter how I wish, our queen lies cold
This silent blanket stays over the palace
And my uncle has taken my rightful title of king. And I am powerless against it, Mother.
yet another sestina from the prince
Nov 2020 · 74
To Love a Lemon.
Ash Nov 2020
Lemon. You sit over there, under your tree.
And all I can do— is love you.
To me, that’s scary.
I’ve never felt this way, about anyone
But something about you, makes me think we could be
Something.
I don’t know how likely it is, but— I at least want to see
What we could be like— just us two.
Together... that sounds nice to me.
A magic9 based on some of my OCs
Nov 2020 · 80
Moment
Ash Nov 2020
If
only a
moment lasted forever.
Another hay(na)ku
Oct 2020 · 77
So Far from There.
Ash Oct 2020
You stand over there,
Speaking words I wish I could hear.
I just stare.

You fill me with questions I never dare
Ask, no matter how sincere.
You stand over there.

What could I say to make you care
If I were to disappear?
I just stare.

I wonder if you will ever share
Who you wish to be in a year.
You stand over there.

Perhaps if I was prettier, you would be aware
I’m even here.
I just stare.

Part of me wonders if this is fair,
That I could fall, while your heart stays so unclear.
You stand over there.
I just-- stare.
My cringe-y first attempt at a villanelle, not entirely based on my life right now...
Oct 2020 · 228
Apologies
Ash Oct 2020
I’m
sorry but—
I love you.
My first Hay(na)ku
Oct 2020 · 60
The Color Blue
Ash Oct 2020
What is the color blue?
Is it simply the color of royalty?
Or is it the color that bonds me to you?
Your skin, my blood, and the crown,
All share the hue.
Perhaps it’s just a strange thing our people believe—
The most common skin tone, is the royal color too.
Perhaps it’s more than you and me,
Perhaps we will always belittle yet worship the color blue.
A Magic 9 written from the perspective of one of my original characters. (the same character from Sestina of the Fairy Prince)
Oct 2020 · 132
Sestina of the Fairy Prince
Ash Oct 2020
As blue
As the blood
That taints the perfect crown
I frown, watching the kingdom
I love
Fight a tireless war.

A war
Against those with scales of blue,
Where we lose far too many of those we love,
And spill far too much blood.
We say we fight in the name of our almighty kingdom.
They say they fight in the name of the crown.

A crown
Which has only seemed out hatred and war
And is willing to **** any who speak against its kingdom,
Allowing the royal blue
Blood
Shed— even from those we love.

But love
Is not felt by those who bear the crown.
We never learn the true meaning of spilled blood,
Or the pain caused by an everlasting war.
A war we fuel until every petal has fallen, mixing with the blue,
Leaving in its wake, a broken and hollow kingdom.

A kingdom
Lead by one who just never love,
Who must only mind the blue
Gem embedded in the crown,
Starting war after war,
Only protecting our title and our blood.

The blood
Which only flows through the veins belonging to the royals of this kingdom,
Who only know war
And believe the greatest weakness one could have is love.
We’re born and raised for the crown
As the world idolizes our shade of blue.

Yet— I spill my blood for those I love,
And serve my kingdom, even though I hold no crown,
I’ll fight this war, your hand in mine, stained in shades of royal blue.
A sestina written from the perspective of one of my original characters.
Ash Oct 2020
The fox
runs alongside the astronaut,
who looks at a picture frame.
Around the fox’s neck, a white bandana.
There, on the spooky
moon, his only company is the fox colored aluminum.

The aluminum
fur of the fox
blends into the moonscape. The ship is empty aside from them and the spooky
remanence of the rest of the crew. As the lone astronaut
works to return home, his only comfort being the bandana
and the picture frame.

The frame
that holds a photo of a woman, standing before the ship of aluminum.
Tied around her hair, the bandana
which has since been given to the fox.
The memories it brings ever haunting the astronaut
making the moon ever more spooky.

The spooky
feeling is not eased by the frame
as the remains of passed astronauts
are trapped in this aluminum
ship, the lone survivors being the man and the fox.
He keeps his thoughts on the bandana.

Her bandana,
given to him on a dark and spooky
day, which he then gave to the fox
so he may pretend the woman in the frame
isn’t millions of miles away from them. A fox of aluminum
and a lonely astronaut.

The astronaut
chooses to focus on returning to the woman without her bandana.
He works tirelessly to get the aluminum
rocket ship off the spooky
and desolate moon, and back to earth, to see the woman in the frame.
By his side on this barren rock, looking up at him, stands the fox.

The astronaut refuses to let the spooky
atmosphere deter him from his goal of returning the bandana to the woman in the frame,
ever thankful for the company of the aluminum fox.
A sestina made with words randomly given to me by a friend.

— The End —