This fire-trap, my home:
Elongated shoebox, or coffin
Awaiting the crematorium;
An arsonists dream
And a fire-fighter's nightmare;
Cluttered with books, boxes, plastics -
If it's flammable, it's crowding the hallway.
To seal the deal - and all who dwell within -
Security-conscious Landlord's
Barred all the windows, leaving one exit,
Presuming, when the conflagration comes,
That anyone can run the gauntlet
Of an infernal tunnel -
An exit, true, but not for this life.
Of course, the smoke alarm installed
Could've provided warning, had it not died
At the end of a cricket bat
Because of its sensitivity to toast.
And the Batsman, sleeping on the couch
In a drunken stupor, loaded
With cigarettes, lighters and matches,
And a penchant for late-night chips,
Could spark the trap that dooms us all.

Hackneyed
Ruminative
Glasslike
Surfaced
Lake
Is
Never
Original
Only
Reflective

A new day
sun shining bright
A new bruise
from the other night
A new promise
to never again fight
A new realization
its okay to walk in the light

I used to think we could spend our lives together,
so much so that we'd talked about children,
about moving across the world, getting an apartment,
being happy.

I used to think that was what I had wanted,
to be away from everyone and to live,
to enjoy every moment of my life,
and be with you.

I used to think it would be the best life for me,
but I see now that I was delusional,
I was so desperate to feel loved
that I mistook everything between us
to be love.

I know now that what we had wasn't love,
it was my vulnerability on display
and you preying on my weaknesses,
you telling me you cared and that I,
I was the most important person in your life.

You lied.

I think the worst part about it all
is that I knew, all along I knew,
I felt the lies building, time after time
I held back everything, I bit my tongue
and failed to call you out on it.

I think I was afraid to lose you,
not realizing I never had you.

i try to find
those things that
hold me close to you

they hold our memories
and they make me feel
like you're holding me

i'm holding onto you
but i still feel like falling
just like my tears
that i can't hold back much longer
and they fall onto the things
in a paint-splattered manner