Society fears
Us looking in mirrors
And liking what we see
Posting 'selfies' online
Is a narcissistic crime
Because we're not allowed to be
Proud of how we look
'Cause in society's book
Insecurity plus jealousy equals pay
And when we cry
We're likely to buy
And the world wants us that way

every snowflake is different
as snow queen
maybe I just got lost
finding the one that best suited me

What if I left
Leaving you only
A broken compass
To tell where I am

I find my self searching for strength with sleepy eyelids

And I want to get so ******* in you, I will forget which parts are mine and which are yours
So that maybe if I surround myself enough in you, my heart will steady for long enough for me to feel significant
or at least  so my heart will steady for long enough so I can stand up straight, and look less scared

Sometimes I fill myself with so many unused words it makes me nauseous
and then my hands ache and shake from lack of use

the tips of my fingers are raw and red from plucking at dreams that feel too far beyond my reach
and it is getting hard to breathe

everyday this town feels like it is shrinking, and I am either to big to fit, or too small to be noticed
everyday this town feels heavier, and my shoulders are already exhausted from the dead weight of my head
this place makes my bones ache for air, my head spins wishing that I could put my soul someplace besides the bottom of my book bag
and I spend my nights dreaming of a future that feels four years too slow
I pretend that the stars are a skyline, so that maybe in my sleep deprived insanity I can breathe a little easier

So am I okay?
No I feel lost, and like shattering
        
           But you feel the same way too

               So maybe if we tell each other that we are okay now
                                         One day we will be.

That instinct
You have
When you're this depressed
And
Every time
You're in the
Stainless Steel kitchen
And your mom
Is stirring soup at the stove,
And a dribble of
Tomato basil
Slobbers down the side
Of the black pan.

And there's still
A knife out
From when
Tomato intestines
Sprawled across a cutting board,
Which is now in the
Soap-water sink.

You feel it,
In that second.
Instinct.
Need, really.
To take it
And slice open your wrists,
Or maybe just one,
If you're having a good day.

You seriously consider it.
It isn't just a thought.
It can
Scare you, really.

You want-
And one day, might need-
To pick up that knife
And do bad things.
Things that good girls
Wouldn't dream of.

But you don't do it,
And you won't do it,
Because your mom is right there
Stirring soup
And ignoring tomato drool.

And it's such short notice,
You haven't written your note yet.

The more you understand how school works, and not just like "ew, I don't like homework" the more you realize what a scam it is. You work for grades, that doesn't even show if you actually understand the subject. And then you have to learn a TON of stuff you seriously will never use. I understand music, English, biology(for me because of doctor stuff) and math(to a very certain degree) and speech and Spanish.

However, we have to learn stuff about parabolas which you only use if you are an engineer or scientist(maybe) and then we waste hours of our life just sitting in a classroom and studying instead of bring out in the world making a difference, which is what I want to do.

And grades... If someone gets c or a b are they stupid? Maybe they just knew they would never use this Information and didn't try, being smart and living instead of wasting hours if their short life. Parents know that grades aren't good measurements, and yet they put so much emphasis on them! Because they, *** this is so stupid, they DETERMINE our whole future!!!! Why aren't we worrying about the kids in drugs and *** and in gangs??? But no, we have to worry for your future that you got a b on a test.

Please tell me how that makes any sense!