i will never be ready to let you go..




ever.

the poison seeds that are planted in people's minds since birth, grow more and more everyday. It is a strange thought to think about; the way that the poisoned ones think is different than the others. they are still good individuals

just poisoned ones.

no one can dig them out, there's a connection missing somewhere
  
"help"  their mind cries, and at the same time their mind tells them that they deserve this, they will never get better, and they better get used to it because thats how they will always be.

the seed is planted firmly in the soil of the mind, and the only one that has the right tools to dig it up, is the one that hosts the plant.

it is a sad and unfamiliar thought, to think about the ones that are poisoned, and why they haven't picked up the *****.

i just want to leave
to get away.
no one understands
I've tried to talk,
but no one cares,
or understands.
no im not depressed.
im trying to find myself


..or maybe im losing myself.


I'm so **** stressed all of the time
and the pressure keeps adding
more
more
and more.

soon my plate will be too full of weighted rocks
soon they will all crash down

burying me.

i just dont know what to do anymore.

what's difficult is that you can't tell the
difference
between
a prince
and
a toxin.

the toxin is dressed in bright blue eyes
and jet black fluffy hair.
he can sing,
write,
play drums,
and is troubled.
he drags you in with one smile.

he is everywhere
and tells you enough so you'll stay.
his words aren't followed by actions,
but you believe him anyway.
he drags you in with enough to hook you.

he makes you feel guilty
because you did something small that
one time,
yet
he has done far worse
he drags you in with your own flaws.

he says sorry like its a daily pill
and means it
as much as a used piece of gum, on the underside of a table,
means to a stranger.
he drags you in with a minimum performance

he wants your body
and your body only.
you say no for so long,
you finally give in.
he drags you in with hot breaths.

he is bad for you, and you know it.
yet you take another
spoonful
of the toxic waste he is and

you drag yourself in.

She kissed me
not because
she wanted to
but because
she could.

We fell in
love.
Not because
we could
but because
we wanted to.

We made
mistakes.
Not because
we wanted to
but because
we could.

We thought
we were
perfect.
Not because
we could
but because
we wanted to.

I vomited in
the bathroom
of a
Baltimore
7-11
because
sometimes
you cannot
hold it in
much
longer.

Her hands shook
as she held her
mirror
because
sometimes
your reflection
can only
tell you
so much.

My body shook.
Her body stiff.
And when
the bodies
move
the hearts
stop.

She lied some.
I drank words.
The veins
in hands
are maps
to imagined
consciousness.

Really,
it's just
a
*******
*****.

Music to
my ears.
Nervousness
between
blinks.
Noise to
my brain.

She said,
"I love you"
not because
she wanted to
but because
she could.

I said,
"I love you, too,"
not because
I could
but because
I wanted to.

you reek of heartbroken goodbyes
and naive judgement

id like to be anywhere but here,
staring out the classroom window,
watching the traffic go by,
the colors of the painted sunrise,
the heater of the other building
puffing smoke out of the roof,
the bare boney trees,
this teacher lectures on pointless things
that looses my peer's attention.

I'd like to be anywhere but here
experiencing things,
not just dreaming about them.