An undercurrent of sadness follows my every move and it only takes a
push
Holding back tears until I can be alone.
So that I can be lonely; it's easier to rationalise.

I forget what it feels like to be normal.

I get up every day
go to work
cook dinner
wash my clothes
clean my house
go to the gym
be there for my family
talk to my friends
hold it together
hold it
hold
until I feel it
push
pretend to be normal
push
pretend to be OK

I'm not OK.

Beginning like every other day,
my eyes open reluctantly.

Dragging myself out of bed,
it is time to face the silence.

Another day to manage,
still attempting to survive.

Wondering why it is,
that I get out of bed at all.

Those who are not a victim,
to the tight hold of depression,
cannot fathom the meaning,
beyond the syllables.

Even the truest descriptions,
cannot paint the picture,
in it's entirety.

To say, I feel empty;
could never explain enough.

To cry, bearing pain;
could never release enough.

To scream, with frustration;
could never show enough.

We smile, in hope that it helps,
to not bring those down around us.

As we breakdown repeatedly,
we are always lost within.

A burden; is an understatement.

Depression is like a cancer,
embedded deep into your cells,
draining the life from you,
with little hope for the end.

For no reason, other than love,
do I face the day and try again.

If I did not love those in my life,
I would not get up to be there.

Still, I try my absolute best,
to do what I can for others,
knowing there is nothing,
they can do to help me.

If one is never fully dressed without a smile
Then I must be naked all the time