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I fear:

I. the end of days
like some irreverent foot that with one mismotion
destroys an anthill,
and so the beauty of this world and
the beauty of you will be
lost
confined to a memory rife with inconsistency

II. that the tiny spark of hope
of faith
of desire to grow will
sputter in my palms
despite my cupping hands against the wind
and I will sink below the depths I am

III. that when I bare my soul, I expose my mind
and the utter nakedness of my intentions come to light and
I will be
known

IV. death and its cousin omniscience:
do those who loved me see me now?
Will I watch you love another when I leave?

V. knowledge, for knowing the truth invalidates inaction

VI. ascension, for I am unworthy on my own to rise, and
who will catch me in my meteoric fall?

VII. that we are all but endless and
eternity whispers to us in our
mortal state
reminding us in echoes that our heartbeats are merely
countdowns.
Epi
After his heart attack, all foods tasted better. Strawberry juice tasted like sweet nectar. He did not raise his voice higher than a confident whisper; the same tone one would use to console a worried younger brother. He said it hurt when he laughed, then he showed us the stitches he had. They carved him open from his sternum to right below his esophagus. It looked like the surgeons used white shoelaces to keep his chest from spilling open. Then I wondered whether a bunny-ears knot kept the stitches from unraveling. He showed us that he had no stitches or scars on his back, but it looked as if a daddy-long-leg, with sewing needles for legs, hiked across the right side of his neck in his sleep. He walked at an infant's pace, but told us he was going to be okay. He told us he used to live, now he loves.
I wrote this after seeing a friend of the family who had just gotten home from the hospital after having heart surgery.
 Oct 2014 Skinny Love
Jeremy Duff
I've been busy
too busy to write.

I'm too busy loving you to write you the love poems you deserve.

I'm too busy working so I can have money to buy you the things you like to write you the love poems you deserve.

But I'm going to continue loving you,
continue kissing and holding you,
I'm going to continue being yours.
I'll never be too busy to love you.

Who needs love poems when you're in love?
An ever-growing list of things that I can't fix
a set of scribbles on a blank lined page
a lifetime of regretful (in)decisions
a stack of unstamped postcards that I swear I meant to send
my clinginess, my neediness
a drawer full of unused paper clips
two eyes that work too well to see what lies beneath the skin
a mouth that I may never learn to tame
two ears that someday soon will cease to hear
a cluttered, clumsy, cumbersome soul
two hands with scars and calloused fingertips
a mind that only ever thinks of you
two legs that don't know where the hell to go
and
a heart that's only satisfied when beating next to yours...

And this is all I have to give to you.
Hi, HP! It's been too long.
I've been spending a lot of time in nature for my ecopsychology class, and thought I'd be more inspired to write poetry this semester. But, life gets in the way. Penned this in a few minutes of downtime during a class. Enjoy!
 Sep 2014 Skinny Love
aphrodite
It can feel like you're being torn apart
Limb from limb
Like the skin that has been holding you together for so long
Is finally wearing thin
Do you remember the first time you were drunk?
Like the world wouldn't stop spinning, no matter how much you wanted it to
And you could swear everyone had their eyes on you as you stumbled down the stairs
It can feel like the moment before a drop on a rollercoaster
Not knowing when you're about to fall,
only knowing that it's a long way down
Because you can be alive for 18 years, and life can still feel really ******* new
And anyone who acts like growing up feels like freedom
and flying
is only telling half the truth
Growing up feels like responsibility,
and losing your best friend
and being so scared of never being somebody that it keeps you stuck in bed all day with a "flu"
And getting older does feel like breaking out of your skin,
being drunk
and riding a rollercoaster -
**but all in the worst ways.
Old poem.
I thought there would be a few people who were in the same position as me who might relate.
**
I come home and look at my room
like I would the stranger that I ******
and didn't leave a phone number to.

I see the blank walls and smell
the sent of stale paint and think
of a life more privileged.

I can't help it.
I live in a box.

I see the world of money
and fame,
I live it.

I stay up and bite my nails
to dust
like it's achievable.

It's ******* not,
and I don't want it.

But I do.
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