~Dedicated to all victims of bullying, which include girls
& boys of all ages, sizes, and backgrounds.  (That includes me too.)~

Yvonne was very, very, very happy.
She loved her mother.
She loved her brother Phillip.
And she loved swans.
Oh, did she ever love swans!

She loved the way they looked
With their smooth, fluffy feathers,
And colorful beaks of orange, yellow and red.
She would watch them for hours
As they glided over water
In the pond at the park.

Her favorite thing was when two swans
Would get close, ever so close,
Head to head, forming a heart
With their beautiful, curved necks.

Her next favorite thing was
When baby swan cygnets
Would bunch together,
Closely following behind their mother.

She loved swans so much that she
Made a song about them.
Yvonne called it her Swan Song.

“Oh, lovely swan, as you swim in the pond,
Your baby cygnets play—I could watch them all day!
Whatever I do, when I think about you
I wonder if you think about me too!”

Yvonne sang her swan song
All the way to school in the morning
And all the way back home in the afternoon.

Yvonne loved school too.
She was a very good student.  
She studied hard for her tests.
Her grades were very good.
Her teachers were impressed.
Yvonne was helpful to her classmates.
And she was very, very, very happy.

One day a new kid showed up at school.
His name was Harry, and he seemed kinda cool.  
The teacher welcomed Harry to the class
And told everyone to be nice to him.
Harry was a little bigger than most of the kids.
And Harry didn’t smile.  He didn’t say a word.

Harry sat at the empty desk next to Yvonne.
Yvonne was excited about making a new friend.
“Hi, Harry.  I’m Yvonne.  Pleased to meet you.”
“Shut up!” Harry said.  “Leave me alone.”
Yvonne wondered why Harry was so mean.
In fact, he looked rather scary.
“Scary Harry” thought Yvonne.

Every day Yvonne and her friends would try to be nice to Harry.
Every day, Harry would be mean to them.
The only kids Harry liked were the bully kids,
The ones who were mean like Harry.
Harry was bigger and meaner.
Soon all the bullies were following him.

Every day they would pick on different kids.
One day they started picking on Yvonne.
Scary Harry taught his bully friends
An awful poem about Yvonne.  
They would shout it out when Yvonne came to school
And they would shout it out when she left for home too.

“Yvonne sang her swan song
She worked so hard all-day long.
When she came home she fell down
'Cause her legs didn’t have any bones!”

Yvonne was very hurt by their horrible, hateful poem,
And she would cry and run away as fast as she could.
Scary Harry and the bullies would laugh and laugh
And keep shouting it over again and again.

They also made up an awful poem
About Yvonne’s brother Phillip.

“Her brother’s name was Phillip.
He had such big wide hips.
When he tried to drink from a straw he couldn’t
'Cause his mouth didn’t have any lips!”

Yvonne was no longer very, very, very happy,
She felt fear, stress and sadness all the time.
Fear made her not want to go to school.
Sadness made her stop acting like her true self.

She no longer wanted to go to the park to see the swans.
Stress left her stomach in knots.
She found it hard to sleep.
What could she do?  
What would you do if this happened to you?

Yvonne did not want to be a tattletale,
But decided it would be best to tell her mother.
Yvonne told her everything.
About the new kid, Scary Harry, and the bully kids;
About them bullying her and her friends;
About the awful poems about her and Phillip;
About her fear of going to school;
About her sadness over not wanting to see the swans;
About the stress leaving her stomach in knots.
She told her mother everything,
And then she cried and cried and cried.

Her mother wept with her, and when the time was right she asked,
“What do you do when they bully you?”
“I start to cry and then run away” sobbed Yvonne.
“What do you WANT to do when they bully you?”
“I want to hit them hard and make them stop!”

With loving eyes, her mother replied
“Yvonne, I am so sorry for you.  But I know exactly what you should do.”
“Really?” Yvonne asked between sobs.
“Really!” responded her mother.  “Listen closely.”
Placing her hands gently on Yvonne’s shoulders,
Her mother kindly looked into Yvonne’s eyes and said:

“You can beat a bully without using your fists,
If you don’t react to their bullying.  
If you don’t react, the bullies will lose interest.
Don’t retaliate, or be mean to them,
Because that will only add to the problem.
Act confident, don’t be afraid.  
Bullies notice when you’re afraid.

Walk away, don’t run.  
It shows you have self-control,
Something the bullies don’t have.
Don’t walk to school alone.  
Walk with a friend.

Since bullies love secrecy, tell someone.  
Tell a teacher, just like you told me.
Even though you may feel like a tattletale,
You shouldn’t have to face it alone.”

Yvonne hugged her mother long and hard.
She was so happy she had finally told her mother.
“Let’s go to the park and see the swans” her mother said.
Yvonne, her mother and Phillip went, and had a wonderful time.
Yvonne felt like singing her swan song again,
So she sang it loud and strong
In the park by the pond and all the way home.

“Oh, lovely swan, as you swim in the pond
Your baby cygnets play—I could watch them all day!
Whatever I do, when I think about you
I wonder if you think about me too!”

The next day at school,
When scary Harry and the bully kids
Shouted the awful poems,
Yvonne remembered everything her mother had told her.
She even told her friends, so they would know what to do.
And she told her teacher too.

It didn’t take long before the bullying slowed down.
Scary Harry eventually stopped being as scary.
Yvonne was once again very, very, very happy.

She loved her mother more and more each day.
She loved her brother Phillip.
She loved her school too.
And she loved swans.
Oh, did she ever love swans!

In your mother's apple-orchard,
Just a year ago, last spring:
Do you remember, Yvonne!
The dear trees lavishing
Rain of their starry blossoms
To make you a coronet?
Do you ever remember, Yvonne,
As I remember yet?

In your mother's apple-orchard,
When the world was left behind:
You were shy, so shy, Yvonne!
But your eyes were calm and kind.
We spoke of the apple harvest,
When the cider press is set,
And such-like trifles, Yvonne,
That doubtless you forget.

In the still, soft Breton twilight,
We were silent; words were few,
Till your mother came out chiding,
For the grass was bright with dew:
But I know your heart was beating,
Like a fluttered, frightened dove.
Do you ever remember, Yvonne,
That first faint flush of love?

In the fulness of midsummer,
When the apple-bloom was shed,
Oh, brave was your surrender,
Though shy the words you said.
I was glad, so glad, Yvonne!
To have led you home at last;
Do you ever remember, Yvonne,
How swiftly the days passed?

In your mother's apple-orchard
It is grown too dark to stray,
There is none to chide you, Yvonne!
You are over far away.
There is dew on your grave grass, Yvonne!
But your feet it shall not wet:
No, you never remember, Yvonne!
And I shall soon forget.

It was Monday, June 20th, 2022. My roommates and I are in Paris to see Olivia Rodrigo (in two days). But tonight, I was doing a favor for my great uncle Remy. Taking my elderly great-aunt Yvonne to the airport.

In RL this all happened in French but I wouldn’t do that to you - but just so you know.

“I’ve always thought of Anais as a granddaughter,” Yvonne said too loudly into my phone, which she had picked up and I was afraid she’d drop. She kept trying to hold it to her ear.

She smiled at me with her old lady dimples. “That’s sweet of you to say,” I lied. She doesn’t fool me. She’s not innocuous. She’s as mean as a snake and she doesn’t like ME at all. How did I end up doing this? I asked myself.

“No Aunt Yvonne,” I said as I gently moved the phone away from her ear. “This is a CAMERA call. Hold it out so they can SEE you.” She’s saying a final goodbye to Remy and letting a cousin know her arrival time. As the Facetime call ends, I pocket my phone with relief.

Lisa’s with us (I told her not to come) and she doesn’t speak French. So for her, this whole task is an awkward pantomime. Charles, our escort, drove us to Orly airport and he’s circling in wait to pick us up.

Yvonne walks at a glacial pace, and it took forever to clear security. Lisa and I have special tags allowing us to escort Yvonne to her gate. I offered to get her a wheelchair, but NOOOOO.
“We need to hurry –,” I began, but she interrupted me.
“Why are you wearing that skintight nothing?” she barked loudly, irritatedly, “if I had YOUR figure, I’d hide those tiny *******” (“minuscules seins,” in French, loudly). Heads turned. As I flushed with irritation, she cackled like a witch.

It’s 8pm in Paris and 30.5°C (87°F). I’m wearing a sports bra and two tank tops. Sue me. I wasn’t planning on doing this at all. We were staggering slowly through the terminal when, like a gift from God, an Air France courtesy tram pulled up next to us.
“Get on,” I demanded, “or we’ll miss your flight.” She did - as slowly as humanly possible.

When we finally got seated at the gate, she sent me for bottled water, a sleep mask, a neck pillow, sugarless lemon drops and a Paris Match magazine. “Thank you, my dear,” she said upon my return, baring her teeth at me in what I suppose was meant to be a smile.

“You should come and visit me (in Libreville, Gabon, Africa),” she suggested, “I think there are things I could teach you.” This is like that gingerbread-house invitation we read about as children.

“I can’t,” I said, with feigned regret, "I'm in school,” (I wouldn’t go there if she lived with Timothée Chalamet).

I heard a familiar voice, and I looked up to see my Grandmèr arriving with her usual entourage of 7 or 8 lackeys, a couple of frazzled Air France employees and two gendarmes.
“Yvonne,” she said, pointing to the two Air France employees, “these people will see to you. Say goodbye to Anais.”

“Goodbye dear,” Yvonne said in a fake, fragile voice. I gave Yvonne a half-hearted Paris bises (two kisses on each side) and my Grandmèr shooed me away with a hand gesture and an impatient, “Go, GO.” I’m afraid uncle Remy’s in trouble.

Yvonne and her branch of the family are the slimiest people you could ever meet. They’re billion-heirs (not billionaires - billion-heirs) who (theoretically) stand to inherit handsomely when my Grandmèr dies (I am NOT in that grubby lineup). They’re liars, cheaters and scoundrels who’d stab you in the face for an olive to put in their martinis. They're legal reasons my Grandmèr has to put up with them from time to time - but every interaction is fraught with phoniness.

About fifteen minutes later, Lisa and I are in the car with Charles racing back to Paris for dinner with our roommates. As I texted them to expect us in 20 minutes, Lisa said, “I got bad vibes from that old lady - the way she LOOKED at you when you weren’t watching..”

“YOU,” I said with a chuckle, “are very perceptive!”

I'm not running for office, got nothing to sell.
But if you've got a few minutes I have a story to tell.
See there once was a man no different from you,
With so many clothes he didn't know what to do.
Yvonne grew tired of his clothing arrray,
And she let it be known one fine laundry day.
She felt she had taken all she could take,
So she balled up her fist and gave it a shake!
"Ernie, I've had it!" she said with a shout.
"You can do your own laundry from here on out!"
Well the day finally came he could find nothing clean.
Ne'er a shirt, nor a sock, nor a single blue jean!
Did our hero grow grievous? Oh contraire!
With a quick trip to Thrift Town he had plenty to wear.
Countless days later Ernie's attire still clean,
Yvonne fell to wondering what could this mean.
As she entered the laundry room scratching her head.
Her blood began to boil, her face to turn red!
The washer was silent, the dryer was cold.
But the mystery at last began to unfold.
Twenty three pair of Levys there on the floor,
Told the tale of Ernie's journeys to the local thrift store.
Yvonne shouted, "Dear God, I simply can't win!"
And started doing Ernie's laundry again...
There's a moral to this story set down here in verse,
It's a tale of two evils. You decide which is worse.
Doing laundry for Ernie who's not a bad a guy,
Or a pile of ***** Levys that mount to the sky!!!

A pity Yvonne alas has passed on in a most regrettable way.
She wasn't quite a snit cuz she jus couldn't ****
and hadn't been many a day.
So she sent Ernie out for enimas no doubt
and while he was still on the road,
Yvonne took a chance by dropping her pants while running toward the commode.
In a tangle of jeans, frustrated screams and a splintering bathroom door,
Her *** met the glass as intestinal gas burst forth with a thunderous roar.
The bowl couldn't take the force of the quake,
It rained down like porcelain Hail.
Some people say five miles away it hit six on the Richter scale.
I miss dear Yvonne, now that she's gone, taken from us much too soon.
Sometimes I cry as I gaze up in the sky and wave and she orbits the moon.

The after life part 2




After sending his previous days souls to their next life, Cronus has to deal with 80s serial killer bob willow who killed 8 people between 1983 and 1987 and 3 of them were children, you see in 1996 he was caught and sentenced to life imprisonment and he was diagnosed with cancer in 2016 in which he lost his battle in January 2020 and went up to see Cronus to talk about his next life and where he’ll go but Cronus decided to give him a few problems in each birth like still born etc and bob willow said you are putting the newborn babies at risk by punishing me and Cronus said no you did that, you see if you punish other people you are punishing future generations and bob said no, I won’t put up with this I will find a terrorist and we can cause havoc on earth like punishing them for what they did to me and before Cronus could say anything and Cronus became very worried about the future and suddenly a nasty bushfire hit the eastern coast of Australia which forced a lot of people to suddenly become homeless and Cronus made the communities bond together to help each other so bob willow’s powers stop and Cronus thought this was bad, so he decided to make bob willow’s new earth body John Robertson who will develop Down syndrome where he will find it hard to communicate with others, but bob decided to fight Cronus by making fires really bad and Athena sat bob down to give his soul a once over and said yes a Down syndrome person for you and bob went away to cause more havoc and then George baccarack came up after being killed by an armed robber in a bank and Cronus sat him down saying you are dead and we need to give you a new earth body and George said I don’t really want to come back I got killed, I am scared, I don’t want to come back
And Cronus said there is always a life that could keep you safe from all that and George said yes, but I thought my last life was safe, I thought I couldn’t be killed but now as you can see, I am here and Cronus said yeah well life is not a problem it is a gift, good things happen, bad things happen and you must grow up and keep your new family safe from the bad people around and Athena gave George’s soul a once over to find out where does he need or want to go to his next life and George said can I have one of your famous methane smoothies I was going to have one before George but I rushed in doing that life, I don’t want to be as rushed in this life, I am just a tad scared of the earth after his ordeal and Athena gave him the address of a place where you could get a great methane smoothie while he will re enter the womb of another mother and while he was living the high life young teenage activist Yvonne Bennie was killed by a mad gunman at the age of 13 Cronus sat her down to find out where she wants to go in her next life and Yvonne said I tried to make a fucken difference and I was killed and I am not sure if I want to come back, because nothing will ever be the same again and Cronus said yes but, death happens I can’t explain it I don’t understand it but what I do understand is that people are given earth bodies for a reason which is the earth needs to be protected and Yvonne Bennie couldn’t save it but your next life could have more power or control and Yvonne said yes thank you and Cronus sent Yvonne to Athena for the routine soul check to find out what womb is right for her and after that Yvonne explored nirvana having a few methane smoothies and listening to a bit of great music and Cronus said, yes another busy day there will be more lives to build

A pity Yvonne alas has passed on in a most regrettable way.
She wasn't quite a snit cuz she jus couldn't ****
and hadn't been many a day.
So she sent Ernie out for enimas no doubt
and while he was still on the road,
Yvonne took a chance by dropping her pants while running toward the commode.
In a tangle of jeans, frustrated screams and a splintering bathroom door,
Her *** met the glass as intestinal gas burst forth with a thunderous roar.
The bowl couldn't take the force of the quake,
It rained down like porcelain Hail.
Some people say five miles away it hit six on the Richter scale.
I miss dear Yvonne, now that she's gone, taken from us much too soon.
Sometimes I cry as I gaze up in the sky and wave and she orbits the moon.

A pity Yvonne alas has passed on
In a most regrettable way.
She was in quite a snit
'Cause she just couldn't ****
And hadn't in many a day.
So she sent Ernie out
For enemas no doubt
And while he was still on the road
Yvonne took a chance
By dropping her pants
While running toward the commode.
In a tangle of jeans
Frustrated screams
And a splintering bathroom door
Her *** met the glass
As intestinal gas
Burst forth with a thunderous roar.
Th bowl couldn't take
The force of the quake
It rained down like porcelain hail.
Some people say
Five miles away
It hit six on the richter scale.
I miss dear Yvonne
Now that she's gone
Taken from us much too soon.
Sometimes I cry
As I gaze up in the sky
And wave as she orbits the moon...

I'm not running for office,
Got nothing to sell,
But if you've got a few minutes
I've a story to tell....
See there once was a man
No different from you,
With so many clothes
He knew not what to do.
Yvonne grew tired of his clothing array
And let it be known one fine laundry
day.
She felt she had taken all she could take,
So she balled up her fist and gave it a shake.
Ernie I've had it she said with a shout,
You can do your own laundry from here on out.
Well the day finally came
he could find nothing clean.
Not a shirt nor a sock
nor a single blue jean.
Did our hero grow grievous ?
Au contraire !
With a quick trip to Thrift Town
he had plenty to wear.
Countless days later his attire still clean,
Yvonne fell to wondering what could this mean ?
As she entered the laundry room
scratching her head,
Her blood began to boil,
her face to turn red.
The washer was silent,
The dryer was cold,
But at last the mystery
began to unfold.
Twenty three pair of Levis
There on the floor,
Told the tale of Ernie's journeys
To the local thrift store.
Yvonne shouted, "Dear God I simply can't win !"
And with that started doing
Ernie's laundry again....
.... There's a moral to this story,
Set down here in verse.
It's a tale two evils,
You decide which is worse.
Doing laundry for Ernie who's not a bad guy,
Or a pile of ***** Levis that mount to the sky.

The after life part 7



Cronus is having a busy times bringing people back to life and he had 33 year old Brian Buchanan who was a hard worker, he works as a landscaper during the day, helping people get their gardens sorted out and he worked every dinner time at the roadhouse, which is a homeless shelter where he helps out at and after that on Tuesday and Wednesday he does performing arts at the community centre and on Thursday he plays tenpin bowling where he has won many trophies and in summer he volunteered at the cricket and basketball by standing at the gate letting and not letting people in and at winter he does the bbq for the Southport sharks neafl team in Aussie rules where he occasionally gets free footy tickets for Brisbane lions and also works at the masters games where he has met so many great olympians and doing all this made him feel good about himself but he was all burnt out doing all this, he collapsed on the road and passed away and Cronus said, Brian Buchanan what or who do you want to be in your next life and Brian said I want to play little league baseball for whoever they choose for me and I want a family who respects the decisions I make and if you think it is a good idea, I want to bring afl football to Jupiter, I have a team name called the goofy gorillas which is cool enough don’t you think and Cronus said yes that would be good, as long as you don’t burn yourself out
And Brian said no I won’t burn myself out and Cronus sent him to Buddha for a reincarnation talk and then to Athena for a soul check and after that Brian went to Jupiter to work on creating the afl team, the goofy gorillas and after that Cronus had another soul named Harry symes who died by getting hit by a car on his way to work by a drunk driver and Cronus said it was horrible how you passed away, so who or what do you want to be in your next life and Harry said I want to be good enough to be a trainee policemen and I want my spirit to make me a good policeman and Cronus said there is no such thing as a good policeman but I could give you to a family who is ready to learn how to not break the law, so it will be your fault if you make mistakes and Harry said ok, but I don’t want to make mistakes though, I just want to lock away people like the driver that killed me and Cronus said policemen get killed, I hope you know and Harry said yes I know but it is an important job so Cronus sent him to Buddha for a spirit check and then to Athena for a soul check and then Harry went to Saturn to have a methane smoothie before he comes to a world where methane is deadly and then Cronus asked Yvonne Simmons who died on the operating table after collapsing at work, who or what do you want to be in your next life and Yvonne said Just send me anywhere, I want to play sport and do concerts at school and outside school and do a few other cool stuff, please I want to be normal and not stupid and Cronus said you ain’t stupid you could do anything you want to do, and I could see you are a live in the moment kind of person so just relax as I send you to Buddha to talk about the best parents for you and then a soul check with Athena and after that Yvonne went to mercury to meet her deceased boyfriend and they had a good conversation about future lives and Yvonne went back to Buddha to ask if she could be in the same family as her boyfriends next life and Buddha said fine but you might have to just be a cousin and Yvonne said that is fine with me, thanks and Cronus sent her to be her boyfriends cousin and in 9 months she will be back to earth