I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned -
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned -
that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned -
that you can get by on charm
for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare
yourself to the best others can do.
but to the best you can do.
I've learned -
that it's not what happens to people
that's important. It's what they do about it.
I've learned -
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned -
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
I've learned -
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I've learned -
that it's a lot easier
to react than it is to think.
I've learned -
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned -
that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.
I've learned -
that we are responsible for what we do,

no matter how we feel.
I've learned -
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be
something else to take its place.
I've learned -
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I've learned -
that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned -
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned -
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned -
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned -
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned -
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.
I've learned -
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned -
that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned -
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had

and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned -
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and
what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I've learned -
that your family won't always
be there for you. It may seem funny,
but people you aren't related to
can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.
I've learned -
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned -
that it isn't always enough
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.
I've learned -
that no matter how bad
your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned -
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned -
that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides
even when I don't want to.
I've learned -
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned -
that sometimes you have to put

the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned -
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I've learned -
that you shouldn't be so
eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I've learned -
that two people can look
at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned -
that no matter how you try to protect
your children, they will eventually get hurt
and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned -
that there are many ways of falling
and staying in love.
I've learned -
that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves
get farther in life.
I've learned -
that no matter how many friends you have,
if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned -
that your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned -
that even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.
I've learned -
that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned -
that the paradigm we live in
is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned -
that credentials on the wall

do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned -
that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I've learned -
that although the word “love”
can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.
I've learned -
that it's hard to determine
where to draw the line
between being nice and
not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.

today i learned that your favourite
colour is red.
(i also happened to be wearing it.)
today i learned that everything i’ve ever wanted to happen
will eventually happen,
but not in the ways i imagined they would.
today i learned that i can love you from a distance,
that i can say it with my eyes and maybe you will
hear me.
(or maybe you won’t but
either way i’m going to keep looking at you.)
today i learned that you care about me because
you told me to put on my scarf so that i wouldn't get cold.
today i learned that love is a language all on its own,
full
of laughter and long embraces and jokes and
spur of the moment decisions and unrequited heartache
and other things
i cannot find words for.
today i learned that instead of being a fool for
not being able to control my heart i might in fact
just be human.
today i learned that every solid foundation was once
a battleground.
today i learned that i could one day maybe trust again but
i am still not ready yet.
today i learned that black friday
is now a thing in Canada.
today i don’t feel so afraid.
today my mother let me read her journal from 1988
(when she was the age that i am right now)
and i learned that i am more like her than i ever
thought i was,
i learned that that might be more of a blessing
than a curse.
today i learned how to use my mind as a camera, that it might
be okay to let so many precious moments remain
undeveloped.
today i learned that i cannot force you to be enamoured with me.
today i learned that i might just have to settle on the fact that my inability to express myself with words has no bearing on how nervous i get when i am around you.
today i learned that there is so much love everywhere.
today i learned that everyone is stunning.
today i learned that there is no such thing as having too big
of a heart.

You're thirteen, sorry fourteen this week
You think you know the world, have it figured out
You think you know yourself, without a doubt
Let me tell you some things I learned when I was about your age
I learned how to go from popular ***** to no good freak show
Nothing but an ipod every day at lunch, no friends, no food
I learned that I had addictions that I didn't know even existed
I learned how badly I wanted attention from his hands, his mouth
I learned what it like to be violated in the worse most degrading way
I learned how to get high
I learned that the intentional pain I'd always caused could be
A harnessed tool to cope by
I learned that if I stopped eating altogether no one cared
I learned what it was like to think you loved someone
I learned that I liked girls
I learned what girls could taste like, feel like -- what I could feel like
I learned that I didn't like girls
I learned what it's like to have people spread rumors about you
I learned what it's like to try to drown yourself then feel guilt
Guilt about your little brother who would have no idea why
You little *******, it wasn't long after that the violence between us started
You're big enough, strong enough to do damage on the family pet
I'm the family pet, you think you know but you don't
You've been calling me names for years
But you don't know how true they are
You think you love her -- you don't know love until you're nothing
When you're nothing and this skinny little kid everyone hates saves you
This annoying as hell kid who shows you that
The world isn't as dark as you thought it was
This kid who loves you not for ***, not for bragging rights, but because
He sees this skinny little bird who lost her feathers and her wings
And is waiting to die and he thinks she could be beautiful
She thought she knew who she was before but he helped her find it
Soon you'll be fifteen
When I was fifteen I couldn't find my skinny little kid, he'd changed
Not for the worse but away from me
I fell into old habits
And new ones
Deadly ones
I changed back into the addict, not eating, not sleeping, sniffing, watching, cutting, stabbing, nothing
I covered myself in laughter, hysterical and crazy
I became quiet
I fell apart more because of guys, complete ******* guys
Like you're turning out to be
Don't think you know everything, that you're an angel
Because I was ****** up at six because of what they did
You were ****** up at four because of him
Both were accidents, but as you can see in me from six to seven
To nine to eleven
To when I was your age, all that happened was
I got ruined because of the secrets
The ones no one can know
The ones that when crossing paths with the world **** you inside
You can't see that yet
You aren't aware that you're broken
Now you're **** well old enough to
Wake Up

Learned to scream without making a sound
Learned to cry with my eyes closed
Learned to dream without sleep
Learned to bleed without cuts
Learned to feel pain on the inside
Learned to hide scars so they don’t leave marks
Learned to bleed with a heart that stopped beating
Learned to breathe with lungs that have long since collapsed
Learned that my problems cause my loved ones to suffer
Learned that an apology don’t fix anything
Learned that living doesn't mean you’re alive
Learned that asking someone for help makes you a pathetic attention seeker  
Learned that its probably better to die rather than to fake living

In my short time I've realized
That there is so much more to life
Than getting older
And getting mine
This is my ready, set, let go attempt
At finding who I am
And I'll be brief
So listen closely

I've learned not to talk through movies
When I still don't know the lines
I've learned who not to ask advice from
When I can't make up my mind
When times get tough I've learned
That breathing is the best thing I can do
And I've learned letting go of friends
Is something I won't get used to
I've learned a fair amount about the world
Of women and of love
I've learned that money doesn't always mean
Deserving one or both of the above
I've learned it's hard to be alone when you're alive
But somehow I have learned that we won't be alone
When we all reach the other side
Something in my heart is telling me I've learned to love
Oh, I've become
I know my learning isn't done

But oh, I'm afraid I will never quite understand
The way I wish I could know
Everything I would ever need just in case
I ever lose my way

I've learned not to lie to people
Who know me better than my words
And I've believed I've learned to filter out
The voices in my head (But I'm still not sure)
I've learned failure's not an option
It's frowned upon and rude
And giving up before the bell
Is something I've learned not to do
I've learned how to keep my head
Above the water line in desperate times
I've learned to swim when someone lonely
Ties an anchor to my leg in spite
I've learned to fight
The difference between wrong and right
How to sleep at night
You know I still don't have that cartridge
But I'm learning how to live in black and white

But oh, I'm afraid I will never quite understand
The way I wish I could know
Everything I would ever need just in case
I ever lose my way

Golden
We are golden because we're alive
We are nothing without our goodbyes
Illuminate our own way from inside
We shine so bright, we shine so bright

I learned on the Saturday I met you that "love at first sight" is a serious illness.
It infects the body and consumes it whole, leaving nothing but happiness and affection in place of the empty, hopeless shell it once was.
I learned on Tuesday that good music and Star Wars references assist the speeding up process of a first kiss,
And just how good knowing that it would be your last first kiss ever felt.
On Wednesday, I learned how hard it was not to say "I love you" out loud.
Instead, I resorted it to silently mouthing the phrase when your head is turned.
On Thursday, I learned that you like to swirl the New York Cheesecake and Red Velvet Cake flavors of frozen yogurt, just like I do.
It reminded me of the concept of being soulmates. Our secret dance reminded me of a movie from the 1920s. Thank you, Louis Armstrong, and the lake in San Angelo for providing the perfect atmosphere.
I learned on Friday how easy it is to talk to the person you love for seven hours.
I also learned that I don't care how tired I look in the first photograph we took together, because I've been a different person since last Saturday.
On the second Saturday that I met you, I learned how hard it is to watch a movie alone with you while your lips are so close to mine.
I learned a lesson on willpower, and also that it's easier if we watch movies in theaters. But even theaters can't keep us from sneaking kisses every once in  a while.
That day I learned how easy it is to dance beautifully with the soulmate you've known only for a week.
I also learned that I'm not the only person who sees the beauty I see when we are together. I glanced over your shoulder during the Jimi Hendrix guitar solo, only to see our group of friends staring at us in awe. It didn't distract me from the butterflies I had from your arm being around me.
Later that same night, I learned how anxious I feel, slipping love notes into your pocket, and saying goodbye, if only for two weeks.

That week, I learned that two Saturdays is all it takes to make you certain of whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.