He played me piano
       He played me a song
       He played me a note
          Quite a bit wrong

       He played me here
       He played me there
       He played my body
     Like notes everywhere  

     I can't look at a piano
      Without dying inside
       You did things to me
            I have to hide

        He played me piano
        He played me a game
        He played my heart
           Oh what a shame

        He played me here
        He played me there
        He played me good
        Then pulled my hair

       I can't look at a piano
        Without crying inside
         I was falling in love
             I had to hide

        He played me piano
        He played me a song
        We played an affair
          Oh so very wrong  

         He played me here
         He played me there
         We played piano
              Everywhere

Me, I play the piano
said one
me, I play the violin
said another
me the harp, me the banjo
me the cello
me the bagpipes, me the flute
and me, a rattle.
And they talked talked
talked about what they played.
No music was heard
everyone talked
talked talked
and no one played
but in a corner one man remained silent:
"And you, Sir, who remain silent and say nothing,
what instrument do you play?"
the musicians asked him.
"Me, I play the barrel *****
and I also play the knife,"
said the man who until now
had said absolutely nothing
and then he advanced knife in hand
and killed all the musicians
and played the barrel *****
and his music was so true
and so lively and so pretty
that the daughter of the house’s owner
came out from under the piano
where she lay bored to sleep
and said:
"Me, I played hoop
ball, chase
I played hopscotch
I played with a pail
I played with a shovel
I played house
I played tag
I played with my dolls
I played with a parasol
I played with my little brother
with my little sister
I played cops
and robbers
but that’s over over over
I want to play assassin
I want to play the barrel *****."
And the man took the little girl by the hand
and they went into towns
into houses, into gardens
and killed as many people as possible
after which they married
and had many children.
But
the oldest learned piano
the second, violin
the third, harp
the fourth, the rattle
the fifth, cello
and they all took to talking talking
talking talking talking
so that no more music was heard
and all was set to begin again!