shake the oldie over





ya see i PARTY all over the town

ya know i party up and down

ya see cranky people are letting out a big frown yeah

it sounds so rad, and get out our fake hip

and throw it at people who ****** us off

partying is right, but being bad is wrong

ya haven’t had a shower, boy do ya pong

ya see as you cook the sunday roast

and mind you it’s the best roast in town

but i don’t wanna boast

the main thing to do here yeah is

shake the oldie over, that’ll be so rad

then we take this pill and say

PARTY ALL NIGHT AND INTO THE DAY

don’t let old fogies tell ya to stop

ya see we party once and we’ll party twice

and then grab a leg of nan’s sunday bird

and eat it and say it’s nice

yeah the party is beginning and the

best thing we do is shake the oldie over

and then play good samaritan and help this old person

acting all innocent oh yeah

and then as we dance in the club, oh yeah

and party to all the great songs the band played

and some songs were hip and others were just great

we got to the gate at half past 8

you see i come every day with my COKE

and say, shake the oldie over and

help her to her feet again

and say to him/her, no discipline please we just want

PARTY PARTY PARTY

shaking her and playing with her

thinking when this oldie dies, she becomes a kid again, circle of life

she’ll do it again in her next life

like joshua patrick or michelle fran or ben

we’ll party once or twice a week each year

we’ll till the end of your life dudes

shake the oldie over, to prepare her for her childhood in next life

that is what i do, come on dude, shake the oldie over

till  she finds her youth in next life

Limericks VII - Naughty, *****, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this ***** one of mine:

There was a lewd ***** from Nantucket
who intended to *** in a bucket;
but being a man
she missed the **** can
and her rattled john fled, crying: "**** it!"
—Variation on a classic limerick by Michael R. Burch

Here's another take on a golden oldie:

There was an old man from Peru
who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He awoke one dark night
from a terrible fright
to discover his dream had come true!
—Variation on a classic limerick by Michael R. Burch

Here are some lewd, crude originals:

There once was a multi-pierced Bull,
who found playing hoops far too dull,
so he dated Madonna
but observed, “I don’t wanna
get married . . . the things she might pull!”
—Michael R. Burch

There once was a forward named Rodman
who said to his best man—“No problem!
When I marry Electra,
if the ring costs extra,
just yank a loop right off my ****, man!”
—Michael R. Burch

A formidable pugilist, Mike,
in a fit of pique called his mom “****.”
She frowned ear to ear,
then said, “You listen here,
I can still whip your ****, you dumb tyke!”
—Michael R. Burch

A cross-dressing dancer, “Dee Lite,”
wore gowns luciferously bright
till he washed them one day
the old-fashioned way ...
in bleach. Now he’s “Sister Off-White.”
—Michael R. Burch

There once was a bubbly bartender,
a transvestite who went on a ******.
“So I cut myself off,”
she cried with a sob,
“There’s the evidence, there in the blender!”
—Michael R. Burch

Our president’s *** life—atrocious.
Asian markets are all hocus-pocus.
Politics—a shell game.
My brief moment of fame—
flashed by before Oprah could notice.
—Michael R. Burch

Bill Clinton's a man we admire;
his opinion polls soar ever higher.
He gets much more flack
for a Big Mac attack
than for his ****** high-wire.
—Michael R. Burch

There is a new term, “Clintonian,”
which means, “Stop your naggin’ and moanin’.
He’s only a man
doing all that he can
to put kneepads in the Smithsonian.!”
—Michael R. Burch

Low-T Hell
by Michael R. Burch

I’m living in low-T hell ...
My get-up has gone: Farewell!
I need to write checks
if I want to have ***,
and my love life depends on a gel!

Grave Offense I

Is Ogden Nash gnashing his teeth,
upside-down in his grave, full of grief
that the term “limerick”
has been plagiarized? Quick—
dial 9-1-1; get the police!
—Michael R. Burch

Grave Offense II

Is Ogden Nash gnashing his teeth,
upside-down in his grave, full of grief
that his wit and his art
share this name I impart
to my “limerick?” Am I a thief?
—Michael R. Burch

Ghostbusters!

Is Ogden Nash gnashing his teeth?
Is his ghost rolling ’round in wild grief
that the Post would make crimes
of his “imperfect” rhymes?
Call Ripley’s—it stretches belief!
—Michael R. Burch

NOTE: The Washington Post in all its great wisdom would ban Ogden Nash’s imperfect rhymes from its limerick contests!

Keywords/Tags: limerick, nonsense, light, humor, humorous, ***, naughty, risque, lewd, *****, ******