I'm that used ****** under the bed that your girlfriend found.                                                                                                          I'm that last breath you take before you drown.                           I'm that raised manhole cover that give you blowouts.              I'm that pothole in the hood that the City knows about.         THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm the safety on that nine that determines life or death.                                                                                                                 I'm that asthma attack you had when you couldn't catch your breath.                                                                                                          I'm that last surviving egg about to go head on with that *****.                                                                                                         I'm that ***** next door that gave your wife that ****** up perm.                                                                                                        THEY CALL DRAMA.                                                                                I'm that wooden baton when you get your *** beat by the cop.   I'm that SUV the kids jumped out of when they robbed the **** spot.                                                                                                               I'm that sweat tricklin' down your cheek like someone shot ya. 
I'm that quarter pound of **** under your seat when the cops stop ya.                                                                                                   THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm that Breathalyzer test that test alcoholics.                                I'm that ******* that comes back after you flush the toilet. I'm that **** you took before you realized you ran out of tissue. 
I'm that *** stain left on blouses by government officials. 
THEY CALL DRAMA.                                                                               I'm that cold turkey when you got dope dependency.                       I'm that bottle of pills when you got suicidal tendencies.            I'm that bet your ******* made when you knew you didn't have no money.                                                           ­                                I'm that roach crawlin' cross your T.V. every time you got company.                                                                                                THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm that hole in your socks when you try on new sneakers.     I'm that ****** up sound that comes out when you got busted speakers.                                                        ­                                               I'm that slippery lane when girls think they're to cute to bowl. I'm that telephone pole when young car thieves lose control.       THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                             I was that dingy *** collar infested with Jeri curl juice.                  I was that crack addiction you had when you noticed your pants were too loose.                                                                  ­                 I was that closet your friend came out of when he said that he was gay.                                                                                                           I was that red spot on those blue jeans when your little girl forgot it was the 28th day.                                                                  THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                          I'm that **** you take after the 3rd day of being burnt.               I'm those dingy thongs when women wear those short *** skirts.                                                                                                           I'm that government cheese that didn't melt in your baked macaroni.                                                                                                   I'm that 10year bid you did all because you didn't rat on your *****.                                                                                                          I'm that long Island ice tea that got you that DWI charge.                                                          ­                                              I'm that slippin' transmission in bank robbers getaway cars.    THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm that seven you rolled every time you played craps.             I'm that burnin' sensation your girl gave you.                          
**** it. Just call me the clap.                                                            ­                                                 I'm that 300lb. Freak talkin' about "let me get on top boo'.                                                            ­                                                      I was that DNA the cops found that pointed straight to you.    I was that broken crack pipe when you had just brought an 8ball of crack.                                                                                                I was that ******* coke you brought that wouldn't come back.    I was that peanut butter and jelly sandwich after school      when there wasn't **** else to eat.                                                             ­                                                       I was that smell between your toes when you had stink feet.                                                            ­                                                       I was those socks on your hands when you couldn't afford gloves. I'm those bubbles that float up your back every time you **** in the tub. THEY CALL ME DRAMA.  c. R. Mendoza

trapped in a child’s backpack
disguised as a lunch sac
really its a sac of crack
I take a hit
then I’m on the attack
looking for a ***** to smack
or getting first in track
in the 69 meter dash
faster than flash
that’s what happens
when crack and I clash
why every time I see a dumpster
I want to swim in the trash
I find some old ladies to flash
cmon don’t hold back
let me see some saggy **** fast

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

these lyrics you will try to mimic
but me my self and the critics
can tell your full of **** kid
my rhymes go for the highest bid
yours go for less than a fat guys skid
marks, underwear found in the park
because someone **** themselves
and then said oh well
when life gives you lemons
then go home commando
and hide your **** dyed
I bet that **** on your legs dried
you hid them in the sandbox
the first kid that found them cried
from that moment on
that kid is now scared for life
and in ten years he will go to class with a knife
and end up doing 20 to life
so the moral to this story is
don’t do drugs and make sure
you keep your ******* tight
or you will **** yourself
and ruin some poor kids life

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

I master bate 15 times a day
I think that means I’m gay
getting off to videos by drake
I always *** when it transitions to Wayne
isn’t that the worst thing
finishing when transitioning
to a ****** alien so lame
I think I’m going insane
I’m always stuck in my brain
trying to figure out which
backstreet boy I want to impregnate
why does life feel so fake
my mind is about to break
i day dream all day
about drake using a shake weight
just kidding everyone knows I’m straight
just ask my boyfriend
you will see him at my wake
cause tomorrow I’m going to die
I’m taking my own life
because we live in a simulation
and I don’t like this character
so I’m switching my controller
my soul I will register
pay my membership fees
and live my next life much better

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

A Cop who has heard everything in the book
Except this one statement
"I swear to DWI i'm not drunk"
It's a clear example of guiltiness wrapped around incoherent speech from impairment