Sorrow swirls in the shell that I am
Was already broken before we began
Cracks only noticed if you doubletake
Pieces of me held together by tape
no one could see the facade was great
Finally I think I wont  hesitate
This is the first day I walked through my  gate Since losing myself through tragic mistakes Then by what must have been fate
I stumbled onto a girl hunched by a  lake with no expression on her face  
pieces of her scattered all over the place
I asked her how long has it been this way?
A tiny voice shaking with fear
Said as long as I remember
You See this lake is my tears
I state one this size must take many years  you would a been a child where was your  Mom  during this dear?
The small voice replies She was drinking her beers . Chasing a man she didn't even notice that I was crying began.  And It's my fault in the end  there's no denying before me mommy was happy.
I stop her right there and say this just can't be true why would think that way
I get no reply the small voice went silent
Still waiting to die . Then I say it louder why is this inside of your head did you think it up yourself or is it something someone said.
She replied more quite then before
Mom told me herself one night on the floor
She came home drunk and alone
I loved nights like these bc after I rubbed on her feet  I got I lay next to her untill we fell asleep . I thought she liked it to then she told me it was my fault.
I listened and thought wow I'm such a coward took me so long to face the world bc image is my power . That night we spoke for what seemed like hours.
That was one of her many  sad sad encounters  this woman never felt any joy or excitement for over  30 years she took on others burdens  and liked it. Because she thought it was her role
I couldn't handle hearing this anymore
I started grabbing up all the parts that I could see. Trying to piece her together my tape at her seams I kept pulling more from from every part i could see then i started to drop parts of myself  thoughts of what if people see me not whole, wait this girl needs my help. Picked up my parts as the dropped put them in my pocket she has been sad to long it's time for me to stop it. She started to stand she was almost all together this was my plan . I wanted to give her the rest of her life never feeling any of that pain or strife All the pieces found,but one I  frantically searched in the sand where is it ? It's not here how can I keep my promise? Her smile was my goal I told her that honest . Her last part was gone she thanked me and said that I tried it was enough. Just take the tape back this gesture had touched her but can't feel it inside . The part that was missing was her heart. I had used all my tape and pockets where full . I came so close to seeing her glow . I couldn't stop now she needed to know life has moments that are more precious than gold I wanted to show life h . Said you will take the burden of others as long as they ask well take mine as a  final request . I want you to live your life to the fullest and try your very best
Never loose that smile please stay focused I will be rooting for you then I reached in my chest pulling my heart out I felt it's final beat . Placed in in her and it fit perfectly I could see that the rhythm of her new heart was well it was me . I smiled and said now your complete

I was rushing up the stairs from the basement to get to class
When a blur of orange came down the stairs from the upper floor
And fell into line next to me

I looked over doing a doubletake at the wavy colored hair next to me
'It's not her,'
I mentally told myself
'For her hair is too light.'
So I now apologize to whoever you are for staring,
I just needed to know if you were my Autumn Girl
But I was so caught up in seeing who you were and your hair
That I ended up running into the real Autumn Girl;
Literally

I faced forward again only to run into something
And to cause things to scatter about falling to the ground;
My anxiety spiked and only got worse once I saw who you were
It was my Autumn Girl

We both bent down, collecting the mess I caused
"I'm so sorry, I apologize, I didn't mean -"
I was stuttering out words when you cut me off,
"Oh no don't worry about it. It's alright."
God darling,
Your voice is so calming,
Silvery and smokey -
It was as if you spoke words of honey;
Dripping from your lips
Thick and sweet
I just want to drown in it

But as I was memorized by your voice,
We touched;
I handed you one of your books as your hand brushed mine
Your skin so silky,
I hope you know you're a **** angel love

You smiled as we stood back up,
Nodding your head with a small
"Thank you."
Gracefully walking off

I hurried over, resting my hand upon the wall
Watching you walk off in beauty -
Careless of the people who could be staring

And in that moment I decided I'm going to attempt to write a letter
In hopes we actually get to talk more
God please don't let this end in ruin too...

I visualize us being together
Start smiling when I think of all the things that we could do
Deep feelings overtake me as I gaze at your picture on my phone
Maybe it won’t be long until we become a couple
The thought of you kissing me drives me wild
Even your slightest touch on my skin is so spellbinding
I gotta get a chance to let you know what’s on my mind
‘Cause these feelings are increasing with depth
I can’t seem to control my breath
I hope that I’m not running out of time
I need your love to come home to me

When you come my way, you got me in a trance
You’re messing with my stance
The way that you dance entrance me
I can’t even focus anymore
You’ve poisoned my core
You got me wanting to enter your door
To see what you have in store for me
Boy, you got me in trouble
I’m steadily doing a doubletake on you
I’m captivated by everything that gleams
In your masculinity
I wish for you to have my entire world
Come take my body and devour me