Hi dudes and dudettes Welcome to my concert up here on Jupiter and it is time to have some fun and here is my first song for you called robbers and bandits
You see as I walk down the city streets I see these robbers and bandits Trying to take my money Saying please please honey Can I have your money You see we are poor and We have no place to call home at night I said there is no need to rob me I will give you $2 to $5 and I know that might not be enough But I am just as hard done by as you in a way The robbers and bandits said To me we need your blood And we need your money I know you might not like that But it is our only way So just give us $3000 ok If you don’t you will die Personally I prefer to be positive About how silly they are being Trying to rob a Good Samaritan Like me, you here about it on the news and you don’t think of it happening in real life But I think it happened and I have to just sit back and say Robbers and bandits had me again
The next song is push me to the limit You see when I was young I was really cool I used to tease my dad Who I thought was being conservative too You see he came up to me and said C’mon I will fight you I’ll fight you yeah I will But he was trying to make me stand up for myself And I thought mate I needed to put pride in myself But I know dad didn’t mean to As such but he pushed me to the limit oh shucks I was just being a normal kid Teasing my father and being rude Dad hated what I was doing to him He gave me medication to calm Me down It worked for a while but then I completely lost it When the drugs I was taking Started to push me to the limit I hated it I really did But fighting the people that were trying to help me Well, this wasn’t cool So I decided to obsess about taking the meds, even if I got Strange dillusions which I didn’t want I sat there watching Family programs on tv Because of the fact I have No family of my own It worked out ok till one day The dollusions came and I did something bad and straight to the psych ward I went You see the doctors were bad And i thought they Pushed me to the limit in an unusual way then my dad said to me just stay with your friends And let them help you But it was hard and I felt pretty ****, so I sang fly burgers loud and strong
The next song is I want to go to the movies Oh I want to go to the movies To see a movie that is cool Like raising Arizona and beaches and ghostbusters I felt pretty cool Then I saw polar express and then I saw Arthur’s Christmas And superman returns as well as goal yes that makes me feel so divine and if I don’t feel like going there I will watch movies on tv like Harry Potter da Kath and Kim code and pirates of The carribean too Yes they are all good movies And yes I will enjoy them a lot Drink a beer or a methane smoothie yeah oh yeah These movies are great
What a song this next song is living next door to a party You see we are trying to watch Our shows on tv When a great big loud speaker Played music so loud And the swearing, mate wasn’t quite as good we need to fix The noise because it’s deafening and after that The television played around You see the computer chips Were playing around It is all because we all Were living next door to a party Listening to swearing and loud music and people swinging around and hanging up and hanging down and partying good yes we hang around outside pubs and yes we are cool but me I thought these people are in no club, and they have to be careful not to break anything, but they don’t care as they party loud and you find it hard to live next door to a party
That was a good song yes it’s groovy our next song is called mmmm donuts Oh yeah I love my donuts I feel like Homer Simpson As I bring down my donuts Yeah I love them they are nice Mmmmm donuts mmmmmm donuts I love them I love them Yes when I eat a donut It melts in my mouth I feel like a little sour **** As I eat one down and then the other I give the donut to my mother What if she does the donut rap And partied down Up up up up and down down down You see if you look like Homer Simpson you must say Mmmmm donuts every single day Mmmmm donuts every single day c’mon party the Homer Simpson way
Thank you Jupiter crowd and that was mmmmmm donuts the great song and now here is my waltzing Matilda Once a jolly young dude Partied from club to club Dancing with all the girls in there And after that we drank some taquila shots you’ll come a partying with Matilda oh yeah I love a party really really partying I might not look it But I am a social guy I go to events to party down with the party dudes Oh yeah Then we got down to the great Football club we watched the game and listened to the band The music they played was cool and very very hip and the girls asked me to dance I danced an unusual way everybody looked at me Thinking I was a tad crazy But I didn’t care because I am a party dude you’ll come a partying in the football club with me
Thank you dudes and dudettes and now here is a great song called this is ******* Ahh this is ******* Really really ******* The crap you are trying to tell me is driving me up the wall I hate that crap I really do So why do you want to play ******* to me Ahh this is ******* Oh yeah this is ******* Watching ****** reality television which doesn’t mean a thing Ahh this is ******* Really really ******* You see they play gridiron And they play ice hockey And yeah it is party time I like partying and I like teasing The conservos as they are doing their jobs You see ahh they speak ******* total total ******* Ahh this is ******* It is total ******* Watching the crap they speak on sky news on win You see it is right wing crap ya see As the oldies sit there with their cup of tea Yeah that is ******* Total utter ******* Yes ******* comes around In their mouths every day Yes they do Ahh they speak ******* Complete and utter ******* And that is the truth Or is it ahhhh ******* Thanks guys and gals and I want to say this enjoy Jupiter and I will see you when I come again.
In response to the text: "who wants to get ******* this weekend?" I reply: I'll bring donuts, Gatorade, and Cards Against Humanity. I tell the girls that the snacks are for them, so they don't get too drunk or hungover. But really I know myself too well, and I binge when I feel lonely. Its hard not to feel lonely, when you're the only sober one there.
At the Party:
Never Have I Ever reveals more than I ever thought it would. I might be the oldest, but I am by no means the most mature. Things I have never heard of, things I could have never thought of are things of which they speak. Two donuts are gone.
Their alarms all go off at 10:00 for birth control. They take out their mini purse packs of 30 pills, no bigger than a credit card.
I don't take birth control, because my periods are regular, and well:
Depression+antidepressants+confusion of sexuality= no *** drive at all. I mean zip, zero, nothing.
Leaving me to be the only ****** of the six girls here. Three donuts are gone.
Hours ago though, I took my 300mg of Seroquel XR. I timed it just right. This time I won't fall asleep hours before everyone else
'Pong' requires drinking so I sit their and watch. Four donuts are gone
Shots are taken. I pour more tea into my mug. Five Donuts are Gone
Drunk face-timing old friends who have moved away results in much yelling, and her hanging up. I start a new group text where I talk only to myself. All Donuts are gone
*There is no wonder why alcohol and depression don't mix
Just cut out A LOT of random stuff, plus i like the doughnut theme.