This scent of you, it clings to my skin,
it clings like a rash that's boiled over from within.
I scratch at this poison that has marked my flesh,
the scent of you, at your very ****** best.
I throw off the covers and hit the wall with my fist;
should lust be a sin, if lust is like this?
And no matter what with who, how, what or where,
everytime i sleep i can feel your ****** stare.
And the weight of your fingers on the back of my neck
drives me to nightmares, and meaningless ***.
Tinged by the moment and forgotten by the hue,
my arms are brusied easily by the scent of you.
I'm running wildly through bracken and fire,
i'm running as a beast would run from apathy and desire.
I, the lone wolf, i'm moonlit, i scratch and i howl,
at the memory of your face, and your sneering sharp scowl.
I, the lone rider, in flight fearless, reckless and abused,
I jump fields, catch branches, torn, bleeding and bruised.
I hide in the woods, and float in the sea
I'm hiding myself from the deepest memory of me.
You're the poision ivy to my deepest forest of bark,
You're the drifting snow to my deepest vision of dark.
This scent of you, it clings to my lips
and i bite my tongue as i stretch my fingertips.
There is no sense in this dirt that flies through my hands
my thoughts are lost as stone is lost in beached sands.
I rip at my skin and i tear at my voice
I made this my dealing, at my beck, at my choice.
I draw upon my body like a breeze skims the ground,
there is no more wanton whimper, than there is my sound.
And at night when the nightmares come and i scream in my sleep,
the scent of you overwhelms my body, and i sow what i reap.
I lightly collect my feelings and throw them in a box,
I wrap in chains and cover it in locks.
I have been fooled, i have been fooled and blinded by you
and this scent lingers, in a memory of a distant bluish hue.
I watch as you walk away, your hips sway, tail high
And i howl and i scream and i sit and i cry.
And whilst i linger alongside this sharp vivid movie scene,
i count my bruises and feel quietly serene.

stubborn stoic functionally drunk
my Papa embodied all three
his military hands were
hard & he trapped us
in these vices. “pretty please”
we’d scream, adding sugar on top
was the path to freedom
Beatlebomb
was the horses name, we were jockeys
bouncing up & down on his knee.
Beatlebomb never lost, but Bourbon bread
an early retirement

Once
Jim Beam pushed Papa…plow! Ol’
Beatlebomb brusied and feeble
fell short. Like the liquor, Papa
puddled the floor.

quit boozing!
Pretty please-sugar on top.
his hand harassed the bottle
“maybe later”

Soak the conker in vinegar and a bit of salt
Make sure that the vinegar contains malt.
Place a hole in the middle of each
Suspend at arms length to reach.
Bash them till they're battered and brusied
Clash them, cling them to keep you amused.
The outxome will be plain for all to see
The one that has survived claims victory.

Beyond the Veil
There lies a Woman with a story to tell.
At one point and time her soul was not so well.
There were so many times she would holler, scream, and yell.
And time after time she found it hard to get up after she would epically fail.
In her mind she was a prisoner locked in jail
closed off in a wall to wall four by four cell
being brutally attack by evil spirits straight from the pits of Hell.
She didn't see her way out because she had no bail.
She felt she had nothing left to offer but her body to sell.
Experiencing so much pain She built a protective shell.
Then one day her soul got mail
From the man with a hole in each hand from a 6inch iron nail.
A man who wore a crown of thorns in his head
As his precious blood was shed
A man who was pierced in side as he hung upon the cross in front Of Everyone
As he died.
And his clothes were tattered, torn, and ripped
As he was mocked, beaten, brusied, and whipped
A man whos who represenation was the true definitions pure Humiliation.
He Reached out to this woman to turn her devastation into consolation.
With her heart open in full co-operation
She recieved his blessing of hers soul's salvation.
She began to show progress of alteration.
He was her medication she needed for a total transformation.
He gave her wise information reguarding her education for spiritualization.
She began to witness Her life drastically changing after the prophetic  manifestation.
He never let her feel the hunger pains of starvation.
He feed her mind, body, and soul from The feast of harvestation.
He lead her to a spring flowing by river called, "The Living Waters" in which she sipped for hydration.
He clothed her in the finest most glorious armour as he smiled happily upon her
He Draped her in the attributes of proverbs 31.
With purpose in each and every step she would run spreading The "Good News" to each and every one.
Swiftly she ran the race As he Laced her pace with style and Grace.
He placed compassion in her heart
And told Her to guard it carefully and never let love depart.
Then one day He allowed God Fearing man to Come her way.
She stopped him and she as she bugun to say, "Now before I give you my attention as My pay, I see you are Attractive and you have A good head on your shoulders but um......., Do you Pray?"
The he gazed at her as if she was a flower in the wild
And Surprisingly he too had smiled, then these words from his mouth begun compile,
"From the moment i looked into your eyes and said, Hey
I knew That The Man above placed you here in my eyesight not just as a display.
But to help guide you as we both take this journey together down the narrow pathway. Im not the one sent here to lead you astray.
Now I know you are probably thinking that this is some childs play.
And that I was just here to use your heart mind and emotions as my prey.
But starting on Today,
I want to know you in every way I want to make every waking minute a time for your Discovery day.
I want to take to you to see a ballet.
Then hold your hand as we sit in admiring nature's beauty at The New York bay.
You can be the chocolate to my milky way
Or Even My Queen of spring like month of may.
I would like you to be more Than my lady.
I would enjoy it very much if you could be my baby.
I will love you beyond the hurt and pain till it just withers away.
I will pray with you during Sunday, weekday, Sabbatha day, and  Especially on Ascension Day.
We can take trips together where we can  find peace in our Getaway.
Im amazed at how I can see and feel your warmth of electrical sun ray
So I stand here before you offering My Love as a prize that you won in a giveaway.
So will you allow me to honor you As I ask you to be My Fiance.?"
Her eyes begun to water as she started to blink
This question posed to her made it hard to think.
Could he be the pen and Im his ink?
Like the brain that sends a message to the eye thru the nerve so that it could be able to wink.
Are in-sync.
Can we work welll together as 1 unit spreading the ministry of Love together as one link.
Building and upholding eachother never to let the other drown or sink.
Can we love and serve one another until one of us becomes extinct.
Then she replied it's something I must pray about.
For I Cannot leave My first love out.
I trust him with my life without a shadow of a doubt.
As long As we have faith in him. He will work all the kinks out.

Even with that Warning,
He insisted on courting
Mentallly Exploring
Showing love and supporting.
Having so much clean fun
Little did She didnt know That realtionship has only just begun.

He want things go further.
For her he has grown fonder
So He knew He had to do things correct and proper.
So He has sought The heavenly Father,
Asking the hand in marriage of his daughter.
He replied I give her to your as an honor.

So he took her on a pinic by the pond.
Telling her how beautifully strong they have grown a bond.
And that he care for more than the physical it spiritual and beyond.
Thats when on her it dawned
As he got down on one knee, with ring as he was patiently awaiting or her to respond.

She said, " Yes"
Next thing you know she was wearing a wedding dress.
Flowing with Gratefulness from her chest
With Kindness She Proudly Professed, "Grate Is Thy Faithfulness"
As she walked down the asile she felt so blessed
She Humbly Confessed.
"God Thank you for never giving up on when I was a wretched mess.
You brought me through the test Because I trusted you during the process.
You took my failures and used them toward my success!
God Reached down in Hell and transfromed my life into a fairytale.
This is what happens when you let Love Of God prevail.
You become beautiful female who is waiting for her Husbands love patiently behind the veil.

I felt you kiss the back of my neck,
there was nothing there,
just a lack of respect.
And somewhere in your illicit, dulcet tone,
I found the sweetest sympathy of home,
and i found myself walkling back to you.
I heard your voice,
I felt my pain,
I whisphered, a thousand times the same,
Thoughts drifting through my head..
Is this really us?
Are we not dead?
And still i reply with a smile on my face
that nothing you can do will erase,
and with my sweetest tipped monotone
i wipe my hands and make for home.
And how i wish, this was not me or you,
it wasn't something you'd do,
that i could just be there and never far,
never following that elusive star.
And a thousand times i scream your name,
but this is not me
i am not the same,
Every breath i give, heavy and lost,
I gave up your kiss
and felt the cost.
And my head is weary, my hands are tired
my thoughts drift
exacting and wired.
I expected less-little, no more...
and still your breath upon my neck,
I drop my head and close my eyes
forgive myself and all those i despise
Me, us, them and you
there is nothing to prove,
nothing to do, no running away
let me learn to walk before i learn to stay.
And with each brusied moment, each repetitive tone
i take my words to worship at home
as i have no disfigurement, no-one can see this loss
but i wish there was something
but there are no what if's, what now or buts,
there are no scars, there are no cuts,
there is no wonderment or lust
I just wanted to take you here, take you there
hold your hand
feel the weight of your stare
I swallow my breath, i sing your name
i dance in circles around you
and still i'm the same
and how can i end this?
what is appropriate at this time?
I tell the truth, i swallow my rhyme
and on bended knee, dirtied and torn
i forge through the night
close my eyes
and dream of you, and being reborn

Locked up tight, like i would never feel again
Terrified,
And all those selfish hands always wanting more,
So young when the pain had begun
Now forever afraid of being loved
I was left to fend on my own,
Im damaged goods and Ive made so many mistakes
that cant be undone,
What happened to the image of being strong
Was I wrong?
Was love never the book i was meant to read.
It got to where they would cut me to watch me bleed,
I was weak and it was inescapable.
And the disney movies never tell what happens after the credits roll
Maybe thats my cue to just let go.
There's only so many minutes left before i ultimately drown,
There's no other way im going down but in the same shame i began with
Let alone, with no love the way i started this
Dying, unwanted, decaying on my own,
Ive been brusied and broken ,
left used and choking
I know ill never fall again,
I cant escape this fate
My life is meant for heartache

YOU LOVE HIM SO YOU COVER UP THE ABUSE, PUTTING ON YOUR MAC MAKE UP TO COVER UP THE BLACK EYE THAT HE GAVE YOU. GETTING INTO LIP STICK TO COVER UP THAT SCAR TISSUE, THATS JUST ON THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH LEFT THERE AFTHER YOU HAD YOUR STITCHES REMOVED. YOU LOVE HIM SO YOU COVER UP THE ABUSE, DRINKING HEAVILY WHEN FRIENDS COME OVER SO THEY CAN SEE A HAPPIER SIDE OF YOU. IN THE SUMMER YOUR WEARING PANTS BECAUSE YOUR LEGS ARE ALL BRUSIED AND YOUR HOME GIRLS ARE LAUGHING THINKING THAT YOU DRESS LIKE A FOOL. BECAUSE YOU KEEP IT FROM THEM, THE INJURIES THAT HE CONFLICTS ONTO YOU. YOU LOVE HIM SO YOU COVER UP THE ABUSE, DISTANCING YOUR SELF FROM FAMILY BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW WELL THEY CAN READ YOU. YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER KNOWS EVERYHING SO YOU PICK FIGHTS TO MAKE HER NOT WANNA CONVERSATE WITH YOU. AN YOU DARE NOT SPEAK TO YOUR BROTHERS BECAUSE TO HIM YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WILL DO. YOU LOVE HIM SO YOU COVER UP THE ABUSE, NOW YOUR LOOKING AT YOUR SELF LYING ON THE FLOOR IN A PUDDLE OF YOUR OWN BLOOD, YOUR BODY LAYING LIFELESS, SWELLING AND TURNING BLUE. IF ONLY YOU WOULD HAVE STOP COVERING UP THE ABUSE AND RECOGNIZED IT WASNT LOVE THAT HE HAD FOR YOU.

The old soul surprises us all.
In that faint glimpse of something, something we can't quite figure out.
The old soul.
Persistent yet beautiful
Surprises us all.

The old soul is battered and torn in ways, we can't quite understand.
Time it seems is against us
The hour-glass, the sands, the small specs have slipped through our fingertips
It is cancerous, the biological clock, tick tock, tick tock.
The old soul; she is weak

Yet we judge the old soul.
Appearances are decieving, personalities are changed when pushed.
Pushed beyond the limits of our minds.
The cracks hidden in our faces show are real intentions.
Yet the old soul, knows nothing of evil.

I am envious of the old soul.
For she has lived life as pure as one can be.
Living life as one would see fit, not forced, not tamed.
Brusied and tested for the years.
Old Soul has lived life her way.
Free and uncontrolled.

The Old Soul
You are true
and I cannot shake how envious I am of you.
You are beautiful and one can desire to be like you.

Wrists cuffed by the hands that hurt me
Throat bound by the man who broke me
Legs bruised by the weight of his hate
Arms brusied by his grasp
But he won't have me
But he'll forever be there
In a mind broken by HIM