I was infatuated with the highs
She was infatuated with the lows.
We couldn't handle the blows.
Good god we lost our souls.

Destined fate restored, artistic, prowling ponderously under my nail biting exterior she saw the beauty in the way my eyes glowed devilishly unshaken. I explored her covert. Lavishing lashes pranced about her glowing pupil. She felt intensely vigorous letting her hands demolish my unseen temple. Lips laying rose tinted kisses upon my lying fortress. Unclaimed desire to escape the tidal waves. She answered in great confusion to my curiosity. A bitten lip, weary eyes, sharpened words stabbed at the heart in hand. Yet reluctant to see that as the answer i persuade my inevitable heart to rapidly beat to the sound of her singing. As her tempo began uncontrollably my heart simultaneously racing. Thudding almost as if fireworks went off in my chest blessed. Yet heartbreaking in such since the way she walked was always away. I persumed maybe just a bit to soon. Then her hand grasped mine & our feet waltzed on the moon. The fireworks were no longer in my heart but in the sky. Out of the depths of neverland a loud clock trembled through us. I looked away for a second or two. In that instant i was left only holding the cloth.. fury & heart ache. Curse you time. Love never waits on me. It rushes my life..

Passionately dancing on a burning blazing pit
Kissing the lips of an unmarked slit
Blood being dazzled across your finger tips
Hearts in a frazzle jumping to find a quit
Sleep dancing nightmares dreaming of monsters
Ripping at the brain you, are ashamed to have
Refraining the truth from the lies being stabbed
Tossing & turning reluctant in the past
Tripping over faith with death in your hands
Running in circles from the beast you create
Sipping the blood of those with your fate
Learning the jokers ways
Killing the innocent for the sake of your brain
Madness in nightmares fears in dreams
Never awaken a beast you can't tame
Sleep dancing sleep dancing the horrid dreams away
Feet not burning on the fiery flames.

I need you right now to tell me you love me she screamed.
With tears flooding her face her eyes had a haze
she reached in the distance
She reached..
But nothing was there..
No one could hear her scream
Her voice muffled by the pain she retained life..
Life as she knows it has been swept away she stands..
She stands in the middle of traffic headlights swerving
Colors illuminating her mind
She feels her body grow heavy
She collapses reaching & screaming
Reaching for a pigment a vibrant hallucination of love
In the middle of a busy street she lays gripping the pavement leaving traces of blood
Her wrist slit eye lids heavy her voice is heard yet she is screaming pills spill across the floor
Broken, hopeless completely incomplete..
The white silhouette begins draining.

Take me as I am..
Why won't you just take me as I am?
I exhaled the broken glass as ash filled my eyes. My only resource now is to cry.
I am unseen , unsure of the bleak misinterpretation of how to love.
I am the girl in the dark corner grasping my face so you won't see my horrid unwantedness
Trapped in a hell of massive trash.
I am that trash.
Depression. It's not even depression.
It's a drowning.
I am drowning in the words of self loath.
Self hate. A strong separation of smiles that are fake.
Tease me.
My rugged attire makes me unpleased, unpleasant.
Just drastic.
The prowling of the night kills the rapid storms chasing the good I may see.
A teenage drama queen couldn't even express how depressed that line made me.

Hollowed chest.
"I never anticipated hurting this bad. "
She whispered.
" You grow up with the idea of love.  Love never changes. You carve that into your heart & soul.."
No one was quite listening..
So she screamed
"My deepest apologies. I guess you didn't hear me speaking. No one ever heard me speaking.."
She collapsed on stage as if she waited forever to say exactly that.
Those words just stuck to everyone.
As if a 5 year old placed too much glue the words were slapped onto their faces, forced into their ears.
All she ever wanted was to be heard..

I am swimming, in drunk regrets and unreasonable demons.
I have lost my voice and sense of time..
I try to capture the essence of life but I wind up at your door.
My eyes filled with love and regret.
My breath filled with drunken heart ache.
I slumber, I slouch, I slurr words i normally can pronounce.
My eyes red as the blood seeping through my lips.
I find it a battle to let my battered fists hit the door you hide behind.
This time I will change.. I promise.. I couldn't tell you I meant it but I thought it.
I found myself sitting on your porch step, head in hands crying..
I know it's unreasonable, my actions to leave unthinkable but tonight..
Tonight I need you more than I need to breathe.
Can I work up the courage to possibly have the door slam in my face.
I'm already broken so what will that change?.
I just need you in my arms before one last time.