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Sajeer Shaikh Dec 2016
The edge of the balcony
Keeps beckoning my name.
The gun in my closet,
Under layers of clothes,
Has felt my hands brush along its sides -
A bit too often,
No - way too many times.
The knife that I cook with,
Seems sharper than most days.
Not sharp enough, perhaps -
Not yet, anyway.
And they have all told me,
The feeling will pass.
And yes, it really does -
More often than not.
But when I think about,
All that I've really got -
I start to imagine:
That extra step,
The pull of the trigger,
The serrated blade.
Setting me free,
Burning me down,
Dragging me away.
My angels will lose,
My demons will stay
And come out to play.

©sajeershaikh
Sajeer Shaikh Dec 2016
I do not pine for glory,
I suppose that makes no sense -
I cannot smile for flashing lights,
I cannot pull pretense.

I must keep all sanity intact.
I admit, I cannot compromise -
On anything that disturbs my peace,
Or brings sorrow to my eyes.

I fail to see what glory does,
That you, yourself, cannot achieve.
Within confines of your mind,
At rest and forever at ease.
Sajeer Shaikh Dec 2016
In the winter of '13 -
Like a well oiled machine -
You and I were so in sync -
You my king, and I your queen.

Then summer drew its breath,
It was as good as it could get -
You and I with all our vows:
Together till embraced by death.

The years slowly passed us by.
Though we didn't see eye to eye,
We were broken and reformed,
We learned to compromise.

We are an imperfect art,
Two halves of a beating heart -
In sickness and in health,
Till death do us apart.
Sajeer Shaikh Dec 2016
My teacher, she used to tell me:
“Be an aid, child. Not an obstacle.”
Yet, she was the one who held my hand,
When I reached out for my tortured friend.
She said, and I remember clearly:
“It’s his fault, that abominable filth,
He should know better, that walking sin.”
And her words I could not comprehend.
Why did they push and shove him till he bled?
Were those the scars he took back to his bed?
Why couldn’t I help him, what had he done?
My teacher didn’t explain, she said I was too young.

My preacher, he used to tell me:
“Stay away from women, you’re a girl,
You don’t understand, but you’ll reach out to thank me.”
But I had never asked for help,
Unlike my friend – he ended up dropping out –
With flesh wounds reaching under his skin,
And a battered soul that all said had sinned.
I did try to make it to his house,
His belongings lived there, he no longer did.
He left a note, along with his body
Cyan – as it suspended from the fan,
“Clean your inner filth,” it read.

I found it strange that his funeral was barren,
Except for the boy whose hand he had held.
He wailed over the sunken tombstone,
More than the mother – her eyes had turned to stone.
I remembered my teacher, my preacher, as he cried,
And concluded their sermons were as empty as their hearts.
I walked upto the boy whose mud covered hand
Would forever remain unheld, and I embraced his shaking body.
His love was love, as my love was love,
And I decided the body count was enough.
I cleaned my inner filth, as he had intended,
As I held his shaking lover over an immensely heavy grave.

— The End —