she's a siren
in a wasteland
a tantalizing ebon-eyed angel
gloved in lacy little bralettes
cloaked by burnt hair
she lures, lulls
lashes curled
fingertips cold
while the world shifts and spins
she stays, a gravestone
her shape, the muse of every rave
from shakespeare to sheeran
skin, a minefield of goosebumps
freckles
and velvet
and that cookie cutter heart
inked into her collarbone
(i knew her before that, once)

before the toothpick cross
on her viola-neck-of-a wrist, too
plus the piercing in her naval
before those crystal charms that just dangle there
the ones her exes line up
to drop off
each april
before they slip into her bedroom
slide into those cheetah-print sheets
same ones they wove their
seeds and sweat and sins into
a handful of ages ago

amidst the haze that haunts those troops
i witness lust
a black hole masked by magnets
stained with cream-ridden coffee
reeking of mary jane and cake batter chapstick
(i gave her lip-balm for her birthday, once)

evermore and nonetheless,
armies drown themselves in
airport perfume
lilac bottles she trades her tickets for
because free spirits can't afford to both
stay in
and smell like
paris
thus, she stalls
until she passes as graceful
but zeus knows she can't settle
only lounge on her six-foot teddy bear
another birthday gift, another admirer
who isn't a secret as much as forgotten
(i almost forgot her, once)

i witness
the men on the moon march through
that war on mars, then straight into
a venus fly trap
goodhearted guys, who
could feed her the nile
from a golden spoon, who
would lasso stars and conquer nations
at her whim
become tumbleweeds
by the dozens, who
have offered that girl everything
begged her for the pleasure of ensuring
she never wants for a ****** thing
but what's it worth when all she wants is nothing?
(i kept my distance from the infection, once)

she's the one
who left her virtue in the circus
her victims in love
her past, inside plexiglass mirrors
her mother intoxicated
her father in the ground
her car crashed into a tree
but she's not complaining
she's just calling life as it happens
to waste her

(i kissed her, twice)

Goodbyes aren't for good
Only bad and
For granted
For, they are too brief
Forget how many
Days I knew you
It will always take years
To say
"So long"
And not be cut short
By backtracking
Still
I will never quit wishing
You well
Already, I'm missing you
Badly
But
Beneath the twinges
Of "don't go"
I don't know
How
Or when
Or where
Yet alone, why
I just know
We will meet again
In this ring of time
Because goodbyes
Aren't for good

his name
buzzing in my hand
quit spelling myself out
swipe a tear infested screen
instead
smile once i hear him
speak
humming in my ear
warmth through the glass
poke at old windows
pan for words
as i ramble on
he laughs a little so i
copy that
feels like
fresh air, still
everything inside
is calling me names
dumb for walking and talking in
circles
why even try to explain?
hang the hell up
you've got nothing to say
for yourself
but he called me out
of that maze
for a moment
so here's my heart
plain and shamed and open
i am too lucky
to be called
his

what i'm trying to
be for you
just isn't worth
all i was
before you

it's been a long time
since i saw you with short hair
no scars, and wide eyes

it's been a long time
since that spring we crash-landed
into eachother

hello was the start
of a shy, long time coming
farewell in the works

see somehow, we raised
eachother for rock bottom
then raced to get there

but, cut! life drips on
hurts like sorry, sighs like space
we've seen better times

wonder if kids can
grow up backwards, outgrow heart?
well, suppose we have

still, you deserve those
wide pools of blue you were born
to watch the world through

it's been a long time
since you gave me butterflies
this time, they're for you

hands tied, fingers crossed
misty eyes as you take flight
it's been a long time

and it'll be an even longer
night
once the sun sets
without you
beneath it

What do you want
on your gravestone?
"Lived fast
Died old
Buried alive"
You know
just to make them
wonder