Wish i could pen you down
so some breathing thing
might someday read
the myth I couldn't
finish

come on...
Wish I could pin you to
your father
-'s favorite fever dream,
a prophecy

and karma...
Wish I could pin you on
some fiddy
                        wish
                bones
        ­     i
broke

an honor...
Wish i could pin you like
a purple heart
across my real one
did you feel it?

Wish you could've
pinned me down
and taken what
you needed

to
          be
                    free
           of
me.

And I'll admit,
I've even wished
to pin you down
and ask you why
you didn't

except...

you did,
hm?

(you've a lot to teach
this breathing thing)

No wonder each tickle is seismic
There are mountains in your fingerprints
Tiny topographic maps
I want to sculpt a range of them
All peaks, plateaus and lowest points
All jades and pines and shades of you
And epoxy brooks will pool
Where swirls of myself etch the plaster
For if I touch you,
I thirst to water you
I thirst to water you

And therefore?
Your eyes are marble
Your heart's a boulder
You saw Medusa in the curtains
I believe you
Nonetheless
You are a stone
I cannot skip

Sure, I put the rouge in your eyes
And that apple in your throat
But relax, little boy
This is not a backstabbing
I am simply returning
Your godforsaken rib

Thanks to that velveteen tone he
saves for me
And his turpentine diction,
The cliches that made my eyes roll
Now make my heart rush

Nonetheless, my thoughts riot as follows...

(When urged to call him something cheery
something no smile can wane at
like that fleck of gold in his left iris)
Well, "sunshine" should suffice
And Latin for that equals
"Apricitas"
Which phoneticized equals
"Opry cheetahs"
So the obvious endearment here is
Opry

(When urged to call him something pure
perhaps upon watching him blink
or blush
or blow
cigarette ringlets away from babies)
"Snowflake"?
No, that's a slang for ***** these days
So, "raindrop"
Yes
If Latin is dead,
It sure knows how to haunt me
"Gutta imbrium"
Ember
My little ember
The only glow in all this charcoal

(When urged to call him something pretty
when he's brushing his hair
or allowing me to arrange red clovers
in his sideburns)
Hm, let's testdrive "moonlight"
Let's shift into Latin, "luna lumen"
Thus the nickname I bite back is
Lulu

/Lulu/
While I hear darlings and dearies
on the daily
Why must I fail to mirror him?

(When urged to call him something sweet
like the butterscotch kisses he whispers
into my knuckles)
Like a honeycomb
Or as Ceasar would say, "cera mel"
Close enough?
Caramel?
Carousel?
Dizzy, then

We spin
In silence

(When urged to call him something cute
with his cap on sideways
and his head in my lap
and the world at my heels)
Kitten
Catalus
Catapult
Half of that backwards might as well be
Tulip
Two lips
Two tongues
Too much, yet never enough of his
Smoke bomb pomegranate mouth

For heaven's sake, see?
That's why I kiss instead of speak

You went from black to
Sunburnt
It's rust, you say
The moon turned pearl
Then blood
That same day

Dumber than a bag of rocks
on its way to a fountain floor,
we sat like pretzels on a sewer pipe
ignoring coins in lieu of
watching stars, you watched the cars
and swore
I wasn't heartless

And ****
that really took me back

We shut our eyes until they leaked
and the highway was the ocean
oregon's chill, a seaside breeze

We grew wings

And your hair slapped
my cheek
splashing, dripping, laughing
And I couldn't hear a thing
yet it was music all the same

Now, dryer than the barbs in my knees
on the phone, on the run
You swear I'm still not heartless
just that same old stupid ***
And I know
we're finally coming back

He can be my
Sunshine
And I can be his
Icarus
'Cause I'm already his
Lazarus

Every night,
He brings me back
To life

Can I bring him back
This time?

What it feels like to fear
he'll **** his own god
and that's what she is
his name leaving her lips
is gospel.

She doesn't believe in god
but she believes that she would
go to hell if it existed
and there she would have
an iv jammed in her jugular
full of the blood
of the people she killed
coagulating with hers
caught in her circulatory system
like frozen water
in a garden hose.

The veins in his wrist
are green like copper
deceptively dull
hiding the wolf
howling in his pulse.

They were special
they were the snowflake
that caused this avalanche.

he plays the angels
with harp strung hips
and all my ribs
he is my ticket
to eden.
but he's firey as hell
with red sea lips
i part, i sip
and gold street locks
i knock, i kiss, and yes
hell ******* yes
here is my key
to heaven.

when he left
all the oxygen in your lungs
was replaced by the sea
no one ever told you
humans can breathe
underwater.

but now he whispers
that your voice is louder
than the riptide in his eyes
and promises that
someday
he'll let you tell him the
story
of the boy
who went to war
and lost atlantis.

understand that
water
takes on the shape of its
vessel
and he is
sixty-five percent
fluid
hold him.

bury yourselves
together
as one drop
in one ocean
one hundred
more times.

he is
seven percent blood rushing
half a percent beating heart
and it doesn't sound like much
but it's
enough.

you're shore
if only for
tonight.

Following your footprints
My favorite stepping stones
Even with a pebble in my shoe
It's finally in season
So I keep marching on
Forfeiting white flags *** I have you

And, which tree is that one?
Quick! Catch my balloon
God how I love watching you look
Up

Following your whistles
Jungles won't make me blind
I'll find you through the heatwaves and the blues
Every time

Where'd this leaf fall from since
The forest glows in your glasses
When you are facing the sky

Following your fingers
Won't get thorns in mine
Tell me stories about Blackie and Sunshine and
I'll be fine when summer's gone
I can skip the berries
*** you can pick the Blossom
And there are no thorns on fretboards

Oh,
So it's a sugar maple?
Lord knows I won't remember
But I'll never forget you
Looking up

I knew her

Looked like she'd dabbed blush on
Her eye sockets instead of
Her cheeks
And her hair was kinda dark, kinda stringy
She hadn't seen the sun since winter,
At least
But, never thought I'd see her lips
Go bluer than her eyes, but hey
Guess I coulda closed mine
Kinda like her folks did, long ago
First time she begged 'em to,
(ma, don't peek!)
Like it was some kinda surprise
A magic trick, more like
Vanishing act
That left the whole crowd
(all seven lanes of traffic)
Gasping, guessing,

Was she real?
Was she ever here at all?

Well, I was her
I think

and all the teardrops
speckling your shirt
are just sparks from the torch
i should have passed down
long before now

"This sounds crazy," I warn above the drums. "But this song... It makes me feel like jumping off a cliff."

Like a whip, his bangs nod beside me. "That's 'cause it's not a song," he says, then belts the chorus. "It's an anthem."

when the sky above
is about as gray as the
horse you're riding on

Go home.

her body. beneath mine. sprawled out like. a whole new world. and a home planet. all in one. no wonder i'm. crash landing into.
her

"i don't want anyone."
your voice cracks. "that's okay, i'll wait."
"wait for what?"
"forever, if i have to."

i won't be worth it.

this is a poem
i'll write before you go
so maybe i'll be healed
by the time the bruises show

here i sit, by your bed
imagining
my chest
caving in, waking up
              with
               my
             heart
across the city, and

your room already feels
like a museum

still better than a tomb
(like mine is)

if i am a creature
capable of love
sure as sunlight blinds,
i love you.
so much that
loving you
might just be
my purpose.
and once,
i dared to think
that it was.
once,
before i became
a creature
who lost sight.

you offered me sprite
in a glass bottle
and a blunt
in a spiked lemonade roll
and a record
and a ride
and a gown
and a break
and a way
to make
it out of this town
alive

although
the only thing i took
was the seat you offered me
that seat
beside yours
the one thing i won't
give up or
pass down, so

together
we waste away
into grass almost
as green as
a glass sprite bottle
busted on the road
popping our tires
like packing bubbles

we weren't made to
make it very far

so i slam the door and shut my eyes
and make it stop, brother
make it stop
see?
i can't sleep
so i scratch at the lock
and scribble on your wall
upside down and in the dark,

they ****** me up
but i will never tell you
just how much

i taught you how to ride a bike
write your name, and tie a tie
now you show me how to drive
sign my name, and live a lie

you fried some kale
on the grill
in the dark
you said gordon would be proud
you smoked some ***
i watched your eyes blush
as you burnt some
asparagus
you said you didn't love me
then you ate alone
because i left you
because the cat was
killing a mouse, somewhere
and i didn't want to hear it

you killed a little birdie
with an open beak
and big blue feet
you made him bleed
you shred his wings
before he even
got to fly

how can i survive
your cuddles tonight
your big green eyes
and chest of white
and purrs so light
and fur so slight
so airy you could
fly

no

go sleep alone
for the first time

Blue, is the new shade of envy
I watch it bloom as you
Stare into me
Two black holes wearing halos
Of poison ivy
Surely, blue is the new
Shade of envy

Blue, are the hearts I have broken
You were gone, and his arms
Were wide open
No harm done, now he's gone
But your gun is still smoking
Surely, blue are the hearts
I have broken

There is sapphire
Frozen in your eyes
I watch the waters rising over
His dead body

Blue, is the red that I'm seeing
Painted in sparks as you are
Blinded by me
Under your skin, I can feel your blood
Is boiling
Surely, blue is the red
That I'm seeing

There are sapphires
Blazing in your eyes
I'll let the rage keep rising over
My dead body

From the blue, came the shot
That is ringing
True as any diamond
You could ever give me
As you fall, I am caught
By the love in your stare and the
Bullet in between, and now
Blue, are the lips
I am kissing

There are sapphire
Embers in your eyes
I watch the colors dyeing over
Your dead body

There is sapphire
Mirrored in my eyes
Don't leave me, I'm so sorry
There are
Two lovers lying by my side
Surely, God finds mercy over
Somebody