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saige Jan 2021
Wish i could pen you down
so some breathing thing
might someday read
the myth I couldn't
finish

come on...
Wish I could pin you to
your father
-'s favorite fever dream,
a prophecy

and karma...
Wish I could pin you on
some fiddy
                        wish
                bones
        ­     i
broke

an honor...
Wish i could pin you like
a purple heart
across my real one
did you feel it?

Wish you could've
pinned me down
and taken what
you needed

to
          be
                    free
           of
me.

And I'll admit,
I've even wished
to pin you down
and ask you why
you didn't

except...

you did,
hm?

(you've a lot to teach
this breathing thing)
Inspired by a friend's miscarriage that's like a painting, like one of Gogh's; no one even knew it existed until he was gone.
saige Feb 2020
No wonder each tickle is seismic
There are mountains in your fingerprints
Tiny topographic maps
I want to sculpt a range of them
All peaks, plateaus and lowest points
All jades and pines and shades of you
And epoxy brooks will pool
Where swirls of myself etch the plaster
For if I touch you,
I thirst to water you
I thirst to water you
Feb 2020 · 158
my jewel
saige Feb 2020
Mon bijou,
I don't need a diamond
When I could build an island
From all the pebbles you remove
From my shoes
Feb 2020 · 130
snowglob ̶e̶
saige Feb 2020
I clasp the chrome chain of the
white choker he bought me
This might be the most bridal I'll
ever appear
Still he swore to show me I am beautiful
enough
And a hard copy of the clinic results
And how to inhale angel dust
Sniff once, look up, then again
Into my lungs, let it drip down my throat
I could make little rows on his chest
if I want
Little lines I never thought I'd cross
God they go on and on and on and on
Aug 2019 · 675
a pebble of a poem
saige Aug 2019
And therefore?
Your eyes are marble
Your heart's a boulder
You saw Medusa in the curtains
I believe you
Nonetheless
You are a stone
I cannot skip
Aug 2019 · 793
I never asked for this
saige Aug 2019
Sure, I put the rouge in your eyes
And that apple in your throat
But relax, little boy
This is not a backstabbing
I am simply returning
Your godforsaken rib
i can rise without it
saige Aug 2019
Thanks to that velveteen tone he
saves for me
And his turpentine diction,
The cliches that made my eyes roll
Now make my heart rush

Nonetheless, my thoughts riot as follows...

(When urged to call him something cheery
something no smile can wane at
like that fleck of gold in his left iris)
Well, "sunshine" should suffice
And Latin for that equals
"Apricitas"
Which phoneticized equals
"Opry cheetahs"
So the obvious endearment here is
Opry

(When urged to call him something pure
perhaps upon watching him blink
or blush
or blow
cigarette ringlets away from babies)
"Snowflake"?
No, that's a slang for ***** these days
So, "raindrop"
Yes
If Latin is dead,
It sure knows how to haunt me
"Gutta imbrium"
Ember
My little ember
The only glow in all this charcoal

(When urged to call him something pretty
when he's brushing his hair
or allowing me to arrange red clovers
in his sideburns)
Hm, let's testdrive "moonlight"
Let's shift into Latin, "luna lumen"
Thus the nickname I bite back is
Lulu

/Lulu/
While I hear darlings and dearies
on the daily
Why must I fail to mirror him?

(When urged to call him something sweet
like the butterscotch kisses he whispers
into my knuckles)
Like a honeycomb
Or as Ceasar would say, "cera mel"
Close enough?
Caramel?
Carousel?
Dizzy, then

We spin
In silence

(When urged to call him something cute
with his cap on sideways
and his head in my lap
and the world at my heels)
Kitten
Catalus
Catapult
Half of that backwards might as well be
Tulip
Two lips
Two tongues
Too much, yet never enough of his
Smoke bomb pomegranate mouth

For heaven's sake, see?
That's why I kiss instead of speak
Jan 2019 · 685
hope you liked the view
saige Jan 2019
flat on my back on
the asphalt
like that fox a mile ago
cigar smoke and cold gusts
i watch the moon rust
and flick stars until they
dive like
paper airplanes
and see why
tis the milky way
midnight skies are white
when city lights
hush

pebbles get stuck to my cheek
the asphalt rumbles
i try to hear
earth's heartbeat
i'll die pretending
that it's yours
Jan 2019 · 965
Phantom Touch
saige Jan 2019
I am sick of seeing my breath
So as
I march up this bank
My chin tips toward the sun and I
Slam shut my eyes
Let my face go to leather
My vision go rosy
Like my knuckles and nose
Pink lemonade lids
In Greensboro's blind spot
I stand in spotlight
Yet I don't feel bright, no
All I feel is
Wasted
When I spin
To lean on thin
Air
I smell
Your sweater
Sunrays are
Your fingers
And when I tap my boot on
Icy ponds
I hear your voice
Crack
My heart
Crack
Split through its rawest chamber
The one you unlocked
Today
Eight months after
I left you out to freeze
Keep haunting me
Jan 2019 · 289
How it blends
saige Jan 2019
You went from black to
Sunburnt
It's rust, you say
The moon turned pearl
Then blood
That same day
unbeknownst to him, my brother bought a maroon mitsubishi eclipse the day of the lunar eclipse.
Jan 2019 · 326
I was stone, I was wrong
saige Jan 2019
Dumber than a bag of rocks
on its way to a fountain floor,
we sat like pretzels on a sewer pipe
ignoring coins in lieu of
watching stars, you watched the cars
and swore
I wasn't heartless

And ****
that really took me back

We shut our eyes until they leaked
and the highway was the ocean
oregon's chill, a seaside breeze

We grew wings

And your hair slapped
my cheek
splashing, dripping, laughing
And I couldn't hear a thing
yet it was music all the same

Now, dryer than the barbs in my knees
on the phone, on the run
You swear I'm still not heartless
just that same old stupid ***
And I know
we're finally coming back
saige Dec 2018
He can be my
Sunshine
And I can be his
Icarus
'Cause I'm already his
Lazarus

Every night,
He brings me back
To life

Can I bring him back
This time?
Nov 2018 · 313
For the love of
saige Nov 2018
What it feels like to fear
he'll **** his own god
and that's what she is
his name leaving her lips
is gospel.

She doesn't believe in god
but she believes that she would
go to hell if it existed
and there she would have
an iv jammed in her jugular
full of the blood
of the people she killed
coagulating with hers
caught in her circulatory system
like frozen water
in a garden hose.

The veins in his wrist
are green like copper
deceptively dull
hiding the wolf
howling in his pulse.

They were special
they were the snowflake
that caused this avalanche.
saige Nov 2018
he plays the angels
with harp strung hips
and all my ribs
he is my ticket
to eden.
but he's firey as hell
with red sea lips
i part, i sip
and gold street locks
i knock, i kiss, and yes
hell ******* yes
here is my key
to heaven.
Nov 2018 · 2.1k
mayflower, marigold
saige Nov 2018
when he left
all the oxygen in your lungs
was replaced by the sea
no one ever told you
humans can breathe
underwater.

but now he whispers
that your voice is louder
than the riptide in his eyes
and promises that
someday
he'll let you tell him the
story
of the boy
who went to war
and lost atlantis.

understand that
water
takes on the shape of its
vessel
and he is
sixty-five percent
fluid
hold him.

bury yourselves
together
as one drop
in one ocean
one hundred
more times.

he is
seven percent blood rushing
half a percent beating heart
and it doesn't sound like much
but it's
enough.

you're shore
if only for
tonight.
Nov 2018 · 517
bless the rains
saige Nov 2018
he discovered
that he hadn't left his heart in
america after all
he'd just left it with
its owner
and here they'd found each other
again
in africa
as if she'd followed him
through eleven countries and
five years
just to give it
back
Nov 2018 · 254
Yet
saige Nov 2018
Yet
I'm glad she asks why
I feel so cold
At least we know
I'm not Icarus

Yes, I'm glad she says that
My heart is stone
At least that shows
I'm not the tin man
yet
Nov 2018 · 596
Frozen Mini Pizzas
saige Nov 2018
First it was pancakes
Then strawberry milk
Then frozen mini pizzas
Didn't taste the way
They always had

But I sure kept trying
With apple juice from a glass
Then a box and swirly straw
But the crust
Still wasn't soft enough

So I gave microwaving a shot
Years and years of beeps
But the cheese was crunchy
The centers, icy

So I tried thawing, soaking
Kids Cuisine and Lean Cuisine
And even Lunchables
Just in case the companies
Had fooled me, ruined the recipe
But none of them were bad
Just not great
Like they used to be

So I blamed my taste buds
For maturing
Copying my imaginiation
Christmas used to be funner
Summer used to be longer
Mini pizzas used to be delicious

Well
Today I cracked the code
I was in a rush
Like Mama used to be
Didn't let the oven preheat
Just slid in a tray of
Frozen mini pizzas
Kicking myself for procrastinating grocery shopping yet again and -

Beep!
The timer blared, the smoke alarm
I burned my finger, then my tongue
But didn't care because
My taste buds
Hadn't forsaken me
After all

The crust was chewy
The cheese was gooey
I'd done it
I was six years old again

Now if only
I can find a trick
That works for Christmas
Nov 2018 · 262
happy daddy
saige Nov 2018
Following your footprints
My favorite stepping stones
Even with a pebble in my shoe
It's finally in season
So I keep marching on
Forfeiting white flags *** I have you

And, which tree is that one?
Quick! Catch my balloon
God how I love watching you look
Up

Following your whistles
Jungles won't make me blind
I'll find you through the heatwaves and the blues
Every time

Where'd this leaf fall from since
The forest glows in your glasses
When you are facing the sky

Following your fingers
Won't get thorns in mine
Tell me stories about Blackie and Sunshine and
I'll be fine when summer's gone
I can skip the berries
*** you can pick the Blossom
And there are no thorns on fretboards

Oh,
So it's a sugar maple?
Lord knows I won't remember
But I'll never forget you
Looking up
you keep me looking up
Oct 2018 · 464
Some may say
saige Oct 2018
when
what you're living for, is
what you're dying of, it's
one **** shame

but
he breathes for her, ***
heated love, just
breaks him enough, to
stay deaf to
what we say

but mercy
they're still singing
while we're screaming
while we're snuffing
they're still stoking
one **** flame

so, who's to say
who's to blame?
Oct 2018 · 314
Sit down
saige Oct 2018
and,
don't tell us what you're gunning for
just what you're running from.
Is it god? Your ma? Your mate?
Your fate?
A good answer is one which
avoids the question, son.
That's right, make us think
we were raised the same.
Sep 2018 · 959
The Dame on Gatecity Street
saige Sep 2018
I knew her

Looked like she'd dabbed blush on
Her eye sockets instead of
Her cheeks
And her hair was kinda dark, kinda stringy
She hadn't seen the sun since winter,
At least
But, never thought I'd see her lips
Go bluer than her eyes, but hey
Guess I coulda closed mine
Kinda like her folks did, long ago
First time she begged 'em to,
(ma, don't peek!)
Like it was some kinda surprise
A magic trick, more like
Vanishing act
That left the whole crowd
(all seven lanes of traffic)
Gasping, guessing,

Was she real?
Was she ever here at all?

Well, I was her
I think
saige Sep 2018
If money is evil
And life is worse,
What made you take
Both?

I remember now,
You robbed us so
You could fund your own
Coffin
Satin and polished wood
Have never been so
Expensive

(neither have glass guns and hell dust)

But you knew,
(what made you make sure?)
When this day came
(too soon too soon too soon)
None of us would
Find you

Nothing borrowed
(but time)
Nothing stolen
(but life)
Nothing missing
(but why)

Can't you return?
Sep 2018 · 622
Love Into the Ice/olation
saige Sep 2018
Meltdown after meltdown
I'm a mess and they know
The worst of me is always last to show
And it was a matter of minutes
Before he saw, so.

Even back then, I knew
Love takes work, it's worth it
But all I wanted was to hide
And for him to be
happier.

Now, I wish I could be like everyone
Everyone who knows how to love
Like my brother and parents and him
Because I loved him
I love him still
But sometimes,
I'm not sure if that's enough
I'm not sure if the way I love
Is worth much.

I'm not sure if love is magic
I think it's a choice
And I think I choose to love him
From a distance
Yet I missed him
From sundown to dawn
Again.

Ducking out of the tropics
And back to the tundra
Is what I've always done
When the sun gets too bright
Too hot, too fast
And last time the world froze,
I was afraid we'd never thaw
I was afraid I was heartless
But his memory reminds me
I must have heart,
Right?

For, something is wondering
Something is wishing
Something is wanting
And I don't understand, but
I miss his eyes and his hands
And his voice
And his smile
And his jokes
And his cats
And his coat
And his mother
And music
And hair
And hell
I don't even know
I just want him to be happy.

I just hope he's always happy.
And never cold.
saige Sep 2018
and all the teardrops
speckling your shirt
are just sparks from the torch
i should have passed down
long before now
my little brother let me weep
on his shoulder, through his sleeve
Sep 2018 · 1.4k
Chin Up, Buttercup
saige Sep 2018
I know you still can't breathe
And your ribs burn
But I love it
When I finish laughing first

Because for a moment
I am the insomniac
Enthralled by the lucid dreamer
(your eyelids flutter)
I am the Catholic
Entranced by the shameless drunk
(your hiccups slur)
And your giggles pop like
Bubble bath and boiled syrup

And everything is funny
Everything is spine-chillingly funneled
Your sprite and shrieks nosedive
Into my bloodstream
Spike my heartstrings
And your cheeks
Swell and splotch and squish
Into those sparkling eyes
Until they gush

And you try to stop it, but
Like gagging on lake water
You can't
Not until every sprinkle gets spewed
And baby, there is so much
So much beauty
Spawning inside of you
So much to share, and I starve for it
I soar with it

And for a moment
A dreamer stirs the city
A drunkard saves the world
The children stump the wisemen
As you shake the cobwebs
From your ribs

For one more second
Reality is fragile
Love is tangible
And nothing else is
usually
you duck your head when you laugh
but once
i witnessed whiplash
Sep 2018 · 681
sibling snippet xyz
saige Sep 2018
"This sounds crazy," I warn above the drums. "But this song... It makes me feel like jumping off a cliff."

Like a whip, his bangs nod beside me. "That's 'cause it's not a song," he says, then belts the chorus. "It's an anthem."
And we keep marching on.
Sep 2018 · 160
Get gone.
saige Sep 2018
when the sky above
is about as gray as the
horse you're riding on

Go home.
saige Sep 2018
her body. beneath mine. sprawled out like. a whole new world. and a home planet. all in one. no wonder i'm. crash landing into.
her
Sep 2018 · 140
no/elle
saige Sep 2018
staring through her stainglassed eyes
i realize
angels are the only kind
of alien
i can't believe in
Sep 2018 · 165
i wish it weren't so, but -
saige Sep 2018
"i don't want anyone."
your voice cracks. "that's okay, i'll wait."
"wait for what?"
"forever, if i have to."

i won't be worth it.
Sep 2018 · 244
what if we already did?
saige Sep 2018
yesterday you promised
to always find me
in the
next room, next town
next year
next life

do you remember?
when we met?
too young to love
too young to know

but

what if
that moment
those monkey bars and
mulchy knees and
matching eyes

what if
that was us
finding
reuniting
in this
lifetime?
saige Sep 2018
i can spin you now
i just can't
prove it

because of you
i bought tapes
box-step and etiquette
and burned my best cigar
like incense, in practice
the bullet i was saving for
our last day

for christsake, please
spin me now!

around
around
around around

because of you
my world is over
my life is stubborn

my god, at least
pinch me now!

i held your hand
and let you go
(or was it down?)
that shell of a day
up in smoke
i'd already
ingested

and i survived
because you
didn't
dance with me
Sep 2018 · 831
elsa
saige Sep 2018
she blamed it all
from roots to stars
said,
i've been *******
from the very start of this
sorry death wish
of a chance

she hated rain
she cursed the sun
said,
i really coulda been someone
if my chips weren't cashed
my cards weren't stacked
against
me
before i was even

here on this
wrong
planet
i've been
dropped off
to
die on
this
wrong
planet

and die is what she did.
Sep 2018 · 267
as my brother runs away
saige Sep 2018
this is a poem
i'll write before you go
so maybe i'll be healed
by the time the bruises show

here i sit, by your bed
imagining
my chest
caving in, waking up
              with
               my
             heart
across the city, and

your room already feels
like a museum

still better than a tomb
(like mine is)
saige Sep 2018
if i am a creature
capable of love
sure as sunlight blinds,
i love you.
so much that
loving you
might just be
my purpose.
and once,
i dared to think
that it was.
once,
before i became
a creature
who lost sight.
knock on my chest
hear it echo for miles
Jul 2018 · 456
snapshot in a taxi
saige Jul 2018
reds and greens filter your skin
along with
blues and reds
the glares, the horns, the rap music
roaring through this ripped leather
bench
i keep the window up
but you're the opposite
i keep my eyes on
the traffic lights
and siren lights
flitting on your skin
i burn it all into my head
as the city cracks and whips
by like
wildfire
saige Jul 2018
I wake up in the ward again
With film over my feet
And wires in my hair
And God's eyes on the ceiling
They call them cameras
But they lie like dogs in
Places like these
And I am sleepy
So I let them

I wake up with a hornet
In my my elbow, a brick
As my tongue
And a name on
My lips
That sounds like
My own
If I scream it long
Enough

I wake up in restraints again
And it's the same again
Except
I don't question it
Why I'm here and what I've done
Because
God winks at me, reminding me
That I don't want to know
No, I don't want to know that
I have finally made it
Home
Jul 2018 · 1.1k
wrong planet
saige Jul 2018
I tend to think highly of
Unconventional ways to leave

I put the stones in my pockets
And rocked myself to sleep
I kept the stones in my pockets
And waltzed on out to sea

But the stones made holes
And brusied my feet
Before I could wander
Out too deep
I'm in over this ocean in my head
But I've had holes in my pockets
Since I stole my first breath

So I stitched them up, I'm sinking now
But I mended them
Upside down
And I'm not strong enough
To not swim back to shore

But I've lived long enough
To think highly of
Unconventional ways to go
So I'm skipping all these stones

And going home
Jun 2018 · 319
sibling snippet 13
saige Jun 2018
you offered me sprite
in a glass bottle
and a blunt
in a spiked lemonade roll
and a record
and a ride
and a gown
and a break
and a way
to make
it out of this town
alive

although
the only thing i took
was the seat you offered me
that seat
beside yours
the one thing i won't
give up or
pass down, so

together
we waste away
into grass almost
as green as
a glass sprite bottle
busted on the road
popping our tires
like packing bubbles

we weren't made to
make it very far
saige Jun 2018
so i slam the door and shut my eyes
and make it stop, brother
make it stop
see?
i can't sleep
so i scratch at the lock
and scribble on your wall
upside down and in the dark,

they ****** me up
but i will never tell you
just how much
saige Jun 2018
i thought about her again
all night

imagined taking her
curled lashes
and freckled skin
and crimped hair
and plush lips
to germany
to buy her a pretzel
as big as her face
although,
not half as golden
then clubbing through munich
and berlin
and maybe dublin
on the way back
no strings attached,
you know?

i could work every hour
between now and
whenever

she wants to go to germany

she used to tell me all the time
five years ago
when she wanted to go
to oak island
and every flea market
and guardians of the galaxy
and planet fitness
and sweet frog
and bed
with me

and as of last night,
i am sure
i'd still go anywhere
with that girl
saige Jun 2018
You dared me to run away
I dared you to stay
Then took it back, just in case
You took it as a challenge

Someday, we'll escape
Together or not
It's really all the same
When we're already
Too late
and yesterday,
the ghost that has your face
dared me to close the shades
and paint the walls
with my brains
Jun 2018 · 191
sibling snippet 12
saige Jun 2018
i taught you how to ride a bike
write your name, and tie a tie
now you show me how to drive
sign my name, and live a lie
growing up
just keeping up
with you
Jun 2018 · 188
but it smelled so good
saige Jun 2018
you fried some kale
on the grill
in the dark
you said gordon would be proud
you smoked some ***
i watched your eyes blush
as you burnt some
asparagus
you said you didn't love me
then you ate alone
because i left you
because the cat was
killing a mouse, somewhere
and i didn't want to hear it
Jun 2018 · 208
kentucky
saige Jun 2018
you killed a little birdie
with an open beak
and big blue feet
you made him bleed
you shred his wings
before he even
got to fly

how can i survive
your cuddles tonight
your big green eyes
and chest of white
and purrs so light
and fur so slight
so airy you could
fly

no

go sleep alone
for the first time
out of character
yet in our nature
Jun 2018 · 162
As I Fall From This Rooftop
saige Jun 2018
Count the stars just like I taught you
Connect the dots until you can't
Help but watch the sky
Roar to life again
And then
Trace the clouds just like we used to
Lasso shapes until you can't
Help but watch the world
Soar on by again
Jun 2018 · 140
Poppy
saige Jun 2018
She uses her own name as a punchline
About a hundred times a day
She keeps money in her socks and
Gum on her soles as "collections"

And she smiles until her eyes squish
And she's fried her hair with bleach
And she leaves riddles on the wrappers
Of my brother's guitar strings
Handwritten like a Shakespearean
Handwriting like a snot-nosed student

And she's got hoops through her nostrils
And crystalline skin
And silver dollar eyes
And she ties her fried hair into knots
And she's twenty one
And she bought us ***** to prove it
And she better not use my little brother
My God, she better not
Jun 2018 · 147
360°
saige Jun 2018
I burned my knuckle
To the bone
My skin turned to smoke
As it brushed that spring
Loaded iron

I heat-pressed
A hundred
T-shirts for you
And then triple that plus
Sixty five
Just so you won't have to
Wash away
Whatever's up
Your sleeve this time

My heart stays on mine
Though it's been peeling
Off
Because you worked that heat press
When it wasn't even
Hot

Then you broke your fist
On my front door

Let's give it another
Year, you said
See if we can't
Turn this around

See if I don't
Burn another knuckle
Through the bone

oh how we wear eachother out
saige May 2018
Blue, is the new shade of envy
I watch it bloom as you
Stare into me
Two black holes wearing halos
Of poison ivy
Surely, blue is the new
Shade of envy

Blue, are the hearts I have broken
You were gone, and his arms
Were wide open
No harm done, now he's gone
But your gun is still smoking
Surely, blue are the hearts
I have broken

There is sapphire
Frozen in your eyes
I watch the waters rising over
His dead body

Blue, is the red that I'm seeing
Painted in sparks as you are
Blinded by me
Under your skin, I can feel your blood
Is boiling
Surely, blue is the red
That I'm seeing

There are sapphires
Blazing in your eyes
I'll let the rage keep rising over
My dead body

From the blue, came the shot
That is ringing
True as any diamond
You could ever give me
As you fall, I am caught
By the love in your stare and the
Bullet in between, and now
Blue, are the lips
I am kissing

There are sapphire
Embers in your eyes
I watch the colors dyeing over
Your dead body

There is sapphire
Mirrored in my eyes
Don't leave me, I'm so sorry
There are
Two lovers lying by my side
Surely, God finds mercy over
Somebody
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