Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
saige Jan 2018
i hit myself again
head to wall
knuckles to sand bag

i smoked too much again
dabs and backwoods
it was fun to hide in

i cursed myself again
spit to mirror
what a stupid, stupid girl

i ran too fast again
skin to pavement
it was fun to faint in

i lied to them again
didn't mean to, i'll do better
'til I can hit and smoke and curse and run
all I want to.
saige Jun 2018
I burned my knuckle
To the bone
My skin turned to smoke
As it brushed that spring
Loaded iron

I heat-pressed
A hundred
T-shirts for you
And then triple that plus
Sixty five
Just so you won't have to
Wash away
Whatever's up
Your sleeve this time

My heart stays on mine
Though it's been peeling
Because you worked that heat press
When it wasn't even

Then you broke your fist
On my front door

Let's give it another
Year, you said
See if we can't
Turn this around

See if I don't
Burn another knuckle
Through the bone

oh how we wear eachother out
saige Mar 2018
hours alive
seems like less
feels like more

i remember the day
i turned double digits
daddy's guitar and mama's punch
made sure
ten years old
was my favorite milestone.
nigh is the night
i'll strike double decades
and neither daddy's guitar or mama's punch
can stop twenty
from becoming
my least favorite milestone.
saige Feb 2018
how does the universe know
i love frozen fountains?
and church bells
and jet trails
and popcorn clouds
and boys with bright eyes?

travelling, patio, windows
door wide, arms wider and, "hey!"
i have to swallow the phrase,
"it's been so long"
because the air quit being cold
and the street quit being loud
and my mind quit caring which way my hair was blowing
and every speck of me has been held by this man before

behold, comfort at its finest

i want to touch him again
not that i need to
i can't help but feel like we are
already interwoven
and right away, language fails me
but maybe that's okay
maybe it's enough to be silently amazed
for a second, or several

how come the nickels shook as i took my change?
why couldn't i thank the barista before clearing my throat?

alas, we savor the saccharinity
in how cinnamon compliments cream
as pb&j suddenly goes with oreos

still, how can i sneak a glimpse of those eyes
without parching my windpipe again?
and how does he laugh at my jokes
and clap to my tunes
and how come i haven't known this precious soul for all of my life?

of course, how can i be certain
that i haven't?

salt and pepper bricks and broken glass
graveyard tales and a christmas tree in february and,
"we should go star gazing sometime!"
although i swear i've already seen the stars with this man
maybe even numbered them, named them
may have very well visited each and every one of them, too

"look at that light streak in the sky!"
because it's cool, but it doesn't amaze me
because i'm coming to realize
i could watch the moon rise up purple
over a lagoon full of lightning bugs
and it wouldn't be a lick more extraordinary than strolling across an empty parking lot
alongside this man

my chest sinks and soars synchronously
i've been here before
not this bench
but right beside the other heartbeat
upon it

trunk, guitar
treasure chest, citrine
instant homecoming

how can swapping songs resemble
taking an oath?
how can nineteen years amount to a mere ode to this moment?

scorpions, lions, and a pom-pom dog
he mentions his grandmother's passing
and his uncle's illness
and my chest wrenches like it did when
daddy mentioned mama's cancer
all those years ago
albeit, time does not drag
only dissipates into the freedom
that follows
after some puns and dumb questions
about antique bean grinders
which don't feel so dumb after all
because he doesn't seem to think so

i'm not nervous, not really
just in awe

i hate to admit, i lost track of the lyrics
for his song felt like a lifetime of its own
and the butterflies quit tremoring about
so my existence could hitch
with his cadence
for each chord he strummed
struck a nerve and
stuck more arrows
through my heart and
i'm sure
i've come to a
one of which i can't express in the moment
one of which i have a feeling
will put words to shame anyhow
but nonetheless,

i have heard this song before

perhaps, i used to live in it
and he in mine
perhaps, this is what resurrecting
sounds like

the strange isn't so strange anymore
my nose drips, my finger bleeds
courtesy of winter
and i could kind of care less
because he's speaking french over there
he's sharing stories of karaoke and concerts and kangaroos
and i'm getting drunk on every word
he's saying my eyes are pretty
and i'm blushing and struggling to imagine an adjective that tells him
just how much prettier his are

mirror shattered
before we reached it
maybe we don't need it anymore
not when we can look into eachother
and just know
i want to reflect him, i want to shine for him
and i want to wonder why
yet i don't

there's no time
it must have slipped and died back in the coffee shop
somewhere between the first hug and the first sip

somewhere between muddy creek cafe
and low gap
and ireland
it starts to feel like less of a small world
and more like fate

somewhere between the second hug and the see you laters,
the sun set in sheets of ocean and heaven
and somewhere between the gold and shades of blue
i saw it
so this is what his eyes are made of

how does the universe know?
saige Feb 2020
No wonder each tickle is seismic
There are mountains in your fingerprints
Tiny topographic maps
I want to sculpt a range of them
All peaks, plateaus and lowest points
All jades and pines and shades of you
And epoxy brooks will pool
Where swirls of myself etch the plaster
For if I touch you,
I thirst to water you
I thirst to water you
saige Apr 2018
my heart was in my throat
and my throat was on fire
but the flames lost their lustre
once they brushed your blond hair
and it was crackle and crash
and i burned that in my mind
as the blaze took my eyes
on a long, black ride
i love you, i choked
before over taken with smoke
there were sunsets around us
but only ash when i woke
saige Apr 2018
should she have
thrown her wish at the stars
or down a well?

her hair in cigar smoke ringlets
her eyes were the guinness
the journey, her passion
the boy, her poison
the liffey winked with antidotes

black glass with white lights
why do rivers mock the sky?

her hair in her vision
her voice in a bird cage
a swan on a sailboat
not a soul on the ferry

on another coast
amid the day before
and the one that followed
seafoam clashed with clouds
came full circle
as her favorite dead end

she raised
then rolled
her eyes

blue waves with gray wisps
why do skies mock the river?

she didn't go over
nor to the end
she just went against the grain
of the rainbow
only she could spot

and then
she stuffed her hands into her pockets
she threw her wish
saige May 2018
you were
the sculptor
so i could be
the art thief
you'd never catch

but now

i need that
creative, three a.m.
i need your fingerprints
all over this canvas
so stroke me
and stain me with your
final touch
because i need
the thrill of

(with love)
saige Mar 2018
no count-downs for birthday parties
no arm wrestles, no jump shots
no go-cart donuts
not even a snowball

where did we go?

blond hair
up to my shoulders
surrounded by jewels
some empty-paned picture frame
couple sprouts beneath a pine
saying "monkeys" for Grammy's kodak
red clay on your feet
pink frosting in your teeth
me, sheathed in my favorite shirt
"I'm the big sister!"
with a butterfly depicting
what I've yet to become

how wrong have we gone?

well, I'll be twenty
once spring rolls around
and brother
you're not far behind
I can't tell time
to change its mind
but I promise you
it won't be changing mine
from the photographs, scrapbooks
I'll forever feel your laughter
just like goosebumps
the brail I'm reading into
let's gaze past glares
straight through white sunbeams
spiking your brown eyes
twice as deep as mine
the truest shades
on the face of the earth
to this very
foggy day
this mirror, this moment snagged
before shutters snap
and capture us, splatter us
on matte paper, or cell screens
with brown hair
up to your shoulders

way to go, little brother
but I'm still keeping that tee
because the only thing
I've always been proud to be
is your big sister
saige Aug 2019
And therefore?
Your eyes are marble
Your heart's a boulder
You saw Medusa in the curtains
I believe you
You are a stone
I cannot skip
saige Mar 2018
there comes an age
which i have reached
in which i love
to take my turn
at making Mama
laugh like a
little girl
saige Jun 2018
Count the stars just like I taught you
Connect the dots until you can't
Help but watch the sky
Roar to life again
And then
Trace the clouds just like we used to
Lasso shapes until you can't
Help but watch the world
Soar on by again
saige Sep 2018
this is a poem
i'll write before you go
so maybe i'll be healed
by the time the bruises show

here i sit, by your bed
my chest
caving in, waking up
across the city, and

your room already feels
like a museum

still better than a tomb
(like mine is)
saige May 2018
you can't shoot me if you
can't spot me.

never stopped me

a double agent and a
one hit wonder
time to zero in
to pink mist...

(at least you'll **** me
with a kiss)
saige May 2018
"enough to make the angels weep,"
you sigh through the ash.

“you still believe in angels?”

“nah." we glow red from this rooftop
sparks melt into the milky way.
"but i might believe in handsome devils.”

i roll my eyes and punch your arm
you smile, crooked as the moon.
the ember of your cigarette flares
a chameleon to the skyline.

at last we can
blame our tears on the smoke.
saige Mar 2018
october streets are cold
noses drip into our kiss
another smack seasoned of yesterday
trace of salt, a premonition
preparation for the tears
i will have to swallow
all the way home
all the way gone

i burn this block into my mind
buses, cement, river, bridges
a north wind brands my cheeks
as if red could keep me stranded

sandpaper lips
snag me back
brace me for the iron
i will scrape with my teeth
**** from my lip
keep from crying aloud
where the strangers might hear me

october streets are cold
but your shoulders are ice
i look back, twice
and i see them
and i hate that
was the only way you knew
to wave goodbye
saige Apr 2018
mickey was made of
everything you'd never find
on a magazine page
like black pepper perfume
she called it her "pepperspray"
sometimes she wore an ocean scent, too
salty and spicy and
she shook the supermarket aisles
that way
we're not buying it
saige Apr 2018
"I meant to ask you how to fix that car
I always meant to ask you about the war
And what you saw across a bridge too far
Did it leave a scar?

I meant to ask you how to plow that field
I meant to bring you water from the well
And be the one beside you when you fell
Could you tell?

Gone now is the day and gone the sun
There is peace tonight all over Arlington
But the songs of my life will still be sung
By the light of the moon you hung"
~To dust be returning, from dust we begin~
Emmylou Harris is a hero.
saige Feb 2018
you said
i hope you don't mind
i helped myself to the dynamite
i found out in the barn

then the day you dropped the bomb
a canon ball shot through my heart
and i knew the war was won
before i was aware
it'd been declared

i've been taking bullets
for you
for years now
but i've been lying low
nothing would get you down

you send me to bed
with a bullseye on my back
and ask me why
i'm sleeping belly up

oh love
we've been
walking on eggshells
(more like a
if i may say so myself
saige Apr 2018
the sun set like a postcard
stars fell on carolina
but skipped where we
off the blueridge way
here is where my heart will stay
in pieces
trying to
cram the blood back
inside of you
like stuffing keepsakes in
a suitcase
that just
won't zip
i left our bags in memphis
now this traffic
acts our ocean
i close my eyes and open
these fists
and let them drip
red clay replaced by
iron in my
stars fall into the
another dewdrop on the
we pass and pass and pass...
until dawn breaks like tie dye
it's about time you woke up,
saige Mar 2018
what i'm trying to
be for you
just isn't worth
all i was
before you
wrote this thing last year
saige May 2018
To build us

We say goodbye
I wave goodbye
To you
And your

You promise you
Won't let them
Change you

I tell you
It won't change us
If they do
First second down
Fourteen weeks
To go
saige Mar 2018
Darling, are you sure?
Why of course, I have no choice
Well, I gave you mine.
saige Mar 2018
What do you want
on your gravestone?
"Lived fast
Died old
Buried alive"
You know
just to make them
saige May 2018
wet toes on
cold feet
don't chase me
while i fledge
the boy died
jumping in
ten thousand miles
from the edge
saige Nov 2018
he discovered
that he hadn't left his heart in
america after all
he'd just left it with
its owner
and here they'd found each other
in africa
as if she'd followed him
through eleven countries and
five years
just to give it
saige Feb 2018
i love the way
his hair holds snowflakes
like grains of the cold moon
and how when he breathes
he blows coal dust to gold
stirs some life back in these bones
of mine
then sets my heart aglow
as an echo to his
saige Mar 2018
i don't agree
i don't think i was born yesterday
feels more like
earlier this morning
to me
and i don't believe
that life is what we make of it
i barely made it out alive
last night
saige Apr 2018
Heaven can't hear me
I should've died when I was young
Little girl, please
I'm on my knees
No need for lying
Please, little girl
I love to cry for you
But hell, you can't hear me
Dear little girl
I'll forget you, now forsake me
I'm on my feet
saige Apr 2018
it feels perverted
dry ******* in the backseat
you rode home from the
hospital in
when you were just
three hours old
yet we've laid here
four hours like this
fogged up the windows
with racetracks of rain
it's storming out there
it's pulses and giggles and
the radio quit playing
fuzzy then nothing but
our limbs cramping
knotted together and
it feels perfect
my tribute to teenage dreams (now that i'm twenty, ha)
saige May 2018
don't judge by my cover
take a look at my spine
this is what binds me
i am not undercover
i am in disguise
this is why i don't recognize
my own right to say
this is why i survived
the scribe i rhymed with you

don't go by my covers
'cause you won't have time
to read between the lines of
white lies
you'll never realize how colorless
my life
really is

so don't look at my cover
but keep an eye on my spine
because i am bound to break it
chocked full of cliches, i wrote this thing a couple years back xD
saige May 2018
if you can really read
my thoughts
won't you please slow down?
because i keep drawing blanks
but you've been
turning the pages somehow
i have to know
just how my story's going
seems i fell a few chapters behind
trying to decipher
what i don't remember writing, but it's
all a dead language now
so, if you can really read my mind
well, now's the time
to read it aloud
saige Apr 2018
twas seven twenty
on a thursday night
ma was in the ground
pa was inside
and i
was sitting crosslegged
sipping dark chardonnay
with a dead fly
in it
feeling high on fumes of
citronella candles
while the horizon
turned to rust
and huckleberry stains
and so did my feet
and the dirt smelled the same
come to think of it
but i didn't see nothing
i'd already seen it all
that's how i
broke out
of the hoosegow
that's why i'm
freer than the flies
that can't bother me
(i never saw a ****** thing)
imagination improvisation
saige Jun 2018
you fried some kale
on the grill
in the dark
you said gordon would be proud
you smoked some ***
i watched your eyes blush
as you burnt some
you said you didn't love me
then you ate alone
because i left you
because the cat was
killing a mouse, somewhere
and i didn't want to hear it
saige Mar 2018
you knew i'd be awake
so you requested me
instead of mom or dad

eleven seconds
between my bed and yours
i waste no time
when it comes to four a.m. messages
from your phone to mine

i didn't knock
we were kids again, sharing a room
you didn't move, you didn't have to
i will always come to you

rosy eyes and glassy cheeks
your hand shook, shed the sheets
to reach for me

i stroked your arm, kissed your hair
while you wept into mine
we were kids again, we were wisemen
we were the only things alive in that
enlightened, darkest moment

you told me everything
i could ever dream to hear
you love me
i know
you're sorry
though you never need to be

you don't have to say a thing
was all you needed to hear
to fall asleep, to breathe in peace
to believe me
you're the best, buddy
please, just
believe me

i cut the light, crept the hallway
shut my door, took my turn at crying
wrote nine pages worth of words
that don't do you any justice

you knew i'd lift you up
you swear you don't deserve that

know i couldn't turn you down
if my life depended on it

so you requested me
instead of wrecking yourself
and i thank you for that
vastly, eternally
thank you for leaning on me
for giving me the honor to be
there for you,
dear brother
saige Apr 2018
we go
don't say
a word
i feel you
i still do
i swear i know
it's hard to keep
it's not worth catching
an outcast
so stay,
i'll go
saige Feb 2018
i'm tired of the terror
midnight wreaks

sheets can stay on the carpet
stickers can outlive me
on the ceiling
and the clock can tick and chime and
i will watch it crawl
once again
when i'm done
clamping my eyes shut

'cause something's wrong when
cause of death reads:
"ran out of breath
chasing her dreams"

so wake me up
don't wait for
dawn to break us
take me out of
this bedroom
it's a tomb, it's a tomb
and i can't breathe

sheets can stay in the ground
stars can outlive me
on the fan blades
and the clock can tick and chime and
wind me up and
wring me out to die
but not this time

'cause i'm not done
clawing my eyes out

so wake me up
saige Apr 2018
once upon a time
a third of my life ago
i loved you like god

we kissed every night
we invented a secret
we kept for too long

once upon a lie
and then back around again
i'll love you like sin
strictly fiction
when your first love is a forbidden love
saige Sep 2018
I know you still can't breathe
And your ribs burn
But I love it
When I finish laughing first

Because for a moment
I am the insomniac
Enthralled by the lucid dreamer
(your eyelids flutter)
I am the Catholic
Entranced by the shameless drunk
(your hiccups slur)
And your giggles pop like
Bubble bath and boiled syrup

And everything is funny
Everything is spine-chillingly funneled
Your sprite and shrieks nosedive
Into my bloodstream
Spike my heartstrings
And your cheeks
Swell and splotch and squish
Into those sparkling eyes
Until they gush

And you try to stop it, but
Like gagging on lake water
You can't
Not until every sprinkle gets spewed
And baby, there is so much
So much beauty
Spawning inside of you
So much to share, and I starve for it
I soar with it

And for a moment
A dreamer stirs the city
A drunkard saves the world
The children stump the wisemen
As you shake the cobwebs
From your ribs

For one more second
Reality is fragile
Love is tangible
And nothing else is
you duck your head when you laugh
but once
i witnessed whiplash
saige Apr 2018
wild onions and wet dirt
fresh-cut grass and
did you have to
mow the buttercups?
your marble eyes
roll so easily
saige Apr 2018
i never loved you
like i loved him

i loved him like
a child loves god
frightful and blindly
and to keep away
from hell

i loved him like
the rap songs say
the ones about
kissing to killing
i never loved you
like that

in fact
i was too ashamed
to love you
at all

i'm not made
of sheer heart
like you are

i couldn't love you
like he did
saige Apr 2018
"Somebody loves you." Brutally honest and achingly heartfelt, although her words reeked with cliché.

He sighed through a smile, shrugging off any sign of pain. But because it was her he was facing, he failed.

"I doubt it."

"I don't."

Blind as he was, their eyes met anyhow so he could overlook the love, and languish, in her gaze. A hundredth time over.

"Well, see you later."

But she knew he never really would.
saige Mar 2018
"Come on,"
Was me losing you

"I've got to leave tomorrow."
"So you've said."

"I can't stay."
I already knew

"So come back."
"I can't promise-"
"You can too."

"Could be years."
"It's already been years."

"How long?"
"Have I loved you?"

"Quit playing dumb."
"Fine. Long enough."

You looked down, nodded
Then locked your eyes with mine

"Wait for me,"
Was your condition

Was our celebration
Choked in an embrace
Like the ones exchanged at funerals

Was I really losing you?
Make-believe last-chance childhood sweethearts
saige Jan 2018
The lowest
Arc of the rainbow
Sweet is the color that's
Closest to home

But scarlet's the rose
Stretched through the sky
Brighter and higher than
She dreamed to fly

Over and beyond

Her heart beat from
Scarlet to
In the flush of a moment, when she
Drew her own wings and said
"I'm ready to fall"

Yet she went from
Violet to
In her first brush with soaring, so she
Drew back the shades, and now she
Paints her own skies.
saige Apr 2018
What kind of drunk are you?
Well, let's see
There are the fighters
And the flirters
The motor mouths, the water works
The dancers, the snoozers
The hyenas, the hooligans
And of course, shoutout to my
Fellow jumpers!
Like Jehosaphat and Geronimo
Pogo-stick party pumpers
We who seek heights
Once ***** spikes our blood and
Adrenaline rushes and
We wind up in plaster because
We reach for the fan blades
Or climb cars to cannonball from
Or, how about you just
Help me touch the ceiling
Before the chorus of this song
It'll do for now
Sure, I'll crave constellations later
But that rafter looks promising
At least, until the next round
Anybody relate to what I'm
Babbling about?
saige May 2018
he becomes a boy before my eyes
asking if my sight is sharp enough
to loop the line through another hook
and if this were half a century ago
he'd be asking grandpa to help him
rig his pole and take his picture with
the big shiny bass he finally caught
say fishies!
with that trademark thumbs up
with silver whiskers and skin like
the choppy surface of the lake, and i
vow to always remember my daddy
this way
as the happiest little boy
i ever have seen
saige Apr 2018
Gulley washers, sink holes
I believe there is a rainbow
On another shore

Dead leaves
Up to these ankles
And green ones
Over my face
I believe there is a break
On some other shore

I can't see it
And I've never been so
saige Mar 2018
when the photographs magnify
the good times with the worst
when they smear and blur and wobble
and it's too hard to see sepia
for what it was
for what it's worth
hold those snapshots
craddle, squeeze, caress
like babies
like a dying woman's hand
like shadows of a past reality
let the dams break
let the bawls rock you
to sleep or to insanity
whichever comes most
cheeks will tattle
via burst blood-vessels
eyelids may be swollen
for sunrises to come
your voice, gone
but it won't matter
no, not as you wonder
how many people
have wept themselves to death?
i wrote this at fifteen. should i be ashamed to say i can still relate to it?
saige Apr 2018
You are strung like pearls
I, a tight rope
Us, a noose
We can't slip through
saige Jan 2018
They always leave me, dear
Where else is left to go?
There's nothing for me here.

Stars glint the wind as mirrored
Kaleidoscopes, but oh-
They always leave me, dear.

Not one, but days of tears
I reckon you must know
There's nothing for me here.

A night so dreamt and sheer
I'm lured by sleep, but no!
They always leave me, dear.

What life is mine to clear?
Which carousel of snow?
There's nothing for me here.

Paint sunrise in my ear
I'll welter, wilt, and so-
By dawn you'll leave, my dear.
There's nothing for you here.
Next page