That moment when you need someone who you can be completely vulnerable with, but you realize she's no longer there. You realize...she was never there.

There she was.

Delicate and strong there stood my woman. My heart turns to melting petroleum and I feel the perfect wave of calm fall over me just before I die. My senses are all wildly alert, but my body is as frozen as the icy winter outside. I am the craving. She smiles and I smile with her. I have never lived, until now. Her feathery hair runs smooth as silk. Her walk has purpose. Her beauty has definition. Her being has it. She is an angel, and what am I...

Nothing but a ******* white trash piece ****. A ******* back woods ***** with not a ******* bone in my body. A nobody come with a few ****** bills I managed to pull out of my dwindling bank account. Guess I'll have to put in the extra hours pretending to blow my brains out behind that plastic gas station divider. That **** blows. But it is all worth for her. Her light is beauty that burns my skin off as I fall into the sun. She's hot and I'm dead. Her exposed ******* and juicy lips sit atop delicate skin, muscle, organs, bones...soul. Her body is a work of art. Her eyes are jewels I long to capture. Like a ballet she swings around her poll just for me. But it isn't just for me. The hoots and hollers of the other men sitting around the bar are destroying my paradise like a parasitic disease that eats my mind away. Lust and Stupidity drench their everything. The ***** mob touch themselves in a desperate attempt to *** on her face in there minds. Men with wives, men with daughters. I yell up to her, "I'm not like them, I see the beauty behind your faded tired eyes." But she doesn't hear me because I didn't say it. I am just another one of them. I am too shy to tell you. I am too ugly to love you. I am nothing but a ******* white trash *******.

But she is an angel.

Ride, the electricity into the sky
Build, a structure we can’t hide
Fly, fly into the sun
Race, you must run

It’s insane, but why
Climbing metal mountains so high
Starring at desolate sky
Nothing left to do but climb

Win, you must lust to win
Sin, you must get in
Love, love only the ladder
No, nothing else matters

****, if you have to
Do, what you must do
***, come on top
Stop, never stop

It’s insane, but why
Climbing metal mountains so high
Starring at desolate sky
Nothing left to do but climb

Compromise and decay are difficult things to digest. Striking like gravity on the spine, slow and sure. They are as inevitable as my need to avoid them. All the lust, passion, and greed I wish to swim in for an eternity dies with the same cancer that eats my body away. The maggots, flies, desperation, and despair, all attack me simultaneously and with an unstoppable desire to thrive on my remains.

They are relentless and I am not.

Make like a good boy and lie down, ready to decompose with acceptance and grace. I'll place a bag on my head for decency and my wallet on my chest for convenient identification. Perhaps some intelligent future civilization of the cockroach's descendants would like to know about my sad demise. I know the humans won't.

"Misguided", they will say. "Not enough Jesus in his soul to beat back the demons", will say the child ******* priests. Spit on by a hundred million naysayers, in between their ******* and repenting. Given billions of one star reviews because zero stars isn't an option. Oh , I miss the the maggots, the flies, the devastation, and the despair. They were my enemies, and now my only friends.

On my way
To the grave
I will save
Nothing manmade

Death the thief
Drags us beneath
Go in peace
Sweet release

Shifting tide
Serpentine
Behind their ties
They can only lie

Bitter qualms
Somber psalms
Play the odds
Trust in the gods

Testify
Thee end is nigh
Deify
The empty sky

As I gaze across this hazy room
My eyes lock upon hers.
Her stare is a lioness about to lunge onto
a suicidal prey.
Her eyes like fire burn my flesh,
leaving nothing but a broken heart and a twisted mind.
She is the flame in my cold dispassionate world.
She stabs me with drag from her cigarette;
Warm blood rushes from me,
reminding me I'm still alive.

Time, Memory, Morality all come to a screeching halt.

Ivory, Ivy, Ebony eyes.
The eyes I fear in my nightmares
and long for in my dreams.
Eyes that have turned good men bad
and great men dead.
Eyes that have broken homes
and destroyed nations.

How could I refuse?

Brainwash, rinse, repeat
Brainwash, rinse, repeat

You are either stubborn and wrong, or easily manipulated.

Brainwash, rinse, repeat
Brainwash, rinse, repeat

Melting

Down

Shapeless

And new



There is only so much

That we can’t define

Until we find

We’re all melting



Dying

Finally

Feeling

Yourself live



What

Why

Never

Mattered



There is only so much

That we can’t define

Until we find

We’re all melting

It was the best of times
it was the worst of times
it was never a good time to lose my mind
I find delaying the inevitable only buys you time
Plagerize my lexicon
You are the choosen one

I see you lying there ever still,
Resting from another day done.
With colors and canvas strewn across the bed
You have collapsed into a beautiful slumber.

How I long to see through your mind’s eye
How I long to be with you there.
I look to you to enjoy a swim in your tranquil aurora.
Your mind is a dream I long to see
Your body is an architecture I have made my home
Your future is ours.
We crave passion and hunger together.
We wrestle demons and grow unbounded.
We create space and purpose.
We will build a great empire with our desire.

But not now
Now I am calm
Now you are peace
Together we are still

That smell is in the air.
The one that stands your hairs on end.
It narrows your focus and sharpens you wits
with just the right kind of wrong.
The hunt is on.
Should I rush in like a simpleton?
An ignorant ***, how crass
No. Sneaky, sly, and quick
easy and slick.
Lick the taste and smell that smell.
How hot is the fire in hell?

I've got a sixth sense for these things.
It brings a pain so low I know so very well.
THE CHASE! ahh...the taste.......
It moistens the lips with a primitive urge my ancestors command.
The persuasive beauties blossom
with tight skin squeezed between their cotton confines.
They beg me to set them free.
So innocently they burn down the walls I've built of love and devotion.

The notion has struct, the match is lite
A fire burns in my eyes.

Oh, This can not be!
What is stopping me?
What determines what i see?
It is so tall and I am so small but, the fear fills my brain and I fall.

It hurts the dark has been my home, but the warmth feels right against my rough skin.
It's just to bright to see, just to bright to believe.
Perhaps in time...
But what til then?

Oh, I wonder why.
What is stopping I?
If it could **** me, would I die?
The thought must be an error in my mind, If these things are really just in my mind.

It hurts the dark has been my home, but the warmth feels right against my rough skin.
It's just to bright to see, just to bright to believe.
Perhaps in time...
But what til then?

How big is anything really?
As small as the mind can perceive.
Even space is in our imagination.
Everything is as big as we believe.