Yes
Don’t we all just want to feel
****
Smart
Attractive
Desirable
& mostly LOVED…
Don’t we all want to know
We’re valued
Admired
Appreciated &
Mostly LOVED

don’t we all just need to know
We matter?

I matter…I am ****…I am important…I am LOVED!
You matter! You are ****.  You are important! You are LOVED!
So don’t
Fade away
We MATTER
Always…
We all need to know
We matter to someone…
You are everything to me

a secret little pill
missing…
new gym & vaguely anonymous
“coworker”...
to count a few favorite things
Months
long since turned into
years. . .
Indifference (here, too. . .here, too)
When the only feeling mustered is a shrug. . .
Secrets aren’t the problem.
Still. . .counting, questioning, Collecting
Baskets full of observations
(adult easter eggs)
What really matters?
Just that ticking clock
Ticking ticking metronome
Keeping time for bird songs
(a little birdy told
of secret observations)
Tick, tick, tick
as away again slips
another secret cialis
(shhh, sealed lips. . .
shhhh)

Is it external factors
Halting more chapters?
Or an innate absence of appeal?
Collapsing love once real…
Empty sorrow
Of endless empty tomorrows
Piercing heart is all I feel


March 1, 2025

Pausing mid-conversation
with a bi-weekly buddy
he interrupts my **** to say
“The cat spilled her water”
…
so I fill & clean and wonder:
why the **** tell me?
(it took more time than sopping up the spill)
…
Maid! MAID! Snap snap…
Over here Miss…& bring a rag
…
Eye roll into bed…
so ends a day of service

I read the saddest good-bye’s
From cold grey eyes
Denying a glance my way
Now
Mournful another would claim
Gifts writ in your name
for desires you could not say
Ever
The longing holds true
I’m wishing for you…
But respect holds me at bay

Aimless; trying to focus;
find I’m wandering ether-bound
Breezy lyrics ever ringing—
music in my ears, it echoes all around
Nothing yet can free reminders
aching love & numbing loss.
See their fingers clawing, reaching, helpless
for the witch they burned & tossed
Hurt & anger seething—fire-fuel
Sick that I’m the one let go
Though wings they took; Burned me…gone!
****, I’ll be their ghost flambeaux!
What’s that? Now my tonic you desire?
Now the witches brew you crave?
All that I have left to offer
are these deathly flames you gave…

So much I offer:
I would be your home…
a listening interested empathetic ear;
love, care, accepting all of you and more!
admiration, worship, undying affection,
appreciation, patience, love,
words, images, actions of deep passionate desire,
seeking to fulfill your every fantasy,
pleasure in your pleasure,
giving, understanding, long-lasting friendship
so much I have to offer
I KNOW my worth…
If you don’t, that’s on you…
others will…
just know, I’ll always care,
& you’ll always hold
My #1 position
So, if you ever really SEE me…
I have an epi pen ready…
Always,