its been years since i've seen you last
& seeing your face
created so much fear
of my past coming back to haunt me.
i think you've come for revenge,
to let your rage come through
or maybe just clarity.
& you tell me of all these sweet
but sad things.
of how you never let me go.
& for a moment i felt powerful
for having such an effect on you
even after all i've done.
& then i realize
all i've done.
& i cry for hours.
my heart has come alive again
just to drown.
am i to blame again?
have i done this to you?
did i really destroy your life?
i had prayed from a distance
that you would find love
& be happy with someone
who could love you
like i never could.
am i to blame for your misery
even though i wasn't there?
but i can't fix it, i can't fix you.
i moved on years ago
& i've found a beautiful love
i've felt guilty for so many things,
mountains of guilt for my actions
but i've never felt guilty
for* not *loving someone
until now