There are times
I forget who I am
and dare to dream

I feast on the emptiness of your words
until I explode
from the nothingness that expands in my soul

time will fade
the taste from my mouth
but not the hunger from within

pride will cleanse my palate
and remind me
that you do not exist
outside my loneliness

sweet nothings
leave a bitter aftertaste

but even the taste of shame
dissolves after a time
and I will sit at your table
to feast once more

This is the time I fear the most
The silence dares me to speak
but what could I ever say
to redeem myself?

in this graveyard of lost chances
we blindly ***** our way
to someone else's forgiveness

in the forgotten hours
I can choose
to be anyone
ever on the brink
of a new beginning
and another failed end

this is the time
I fear the most

I will not cry for you
because you don't need my tears

this extra salt
will not comfort you
nor give you strength

I will not cry for you
because my tears will not change anything

my tears will not bring you back
my tears cannot recreate the life we had

I will not cry for you
because you can't see my tears

and you do not understand
how much I've lost

I will not cry for you
because you were always above tears

tears are for the weak
who cannot change the present
and cannot face the past

and you are neither of those things

So I will not cry for you

I will carry on
into the great unknown
to do honor to all that you have given me
and to the person you once believed I was

but every day
I will cry for me
because all my life
was not enough time

In the mercy of the night
when my thoughts match the sky
temptations don't seem so dangerous

I paint dreams
on the blank canvas of my desperation
that draw hope in the shadows

the fever of this madness keeps me warm
on the loneliest of nights

I don't recognize
she who stares back at me from the bottom of this glass
But she isn't me
And for that I am grateful

But there is no rest for the weary

Far too soon
the mercy of the night
gives way to an unforgiving dawn
shining light from which I cannot hide

The sweet dreams of the night
surrender to the harsh and brutal truth of day

I begin anew
with another tequila sunrise

I'm not her
and you're not him
and this isn't us

but they're not here.

So here we are.

This isn't love,
just sadness
wrapped in an emperor's cape
of disillusionment

I just want to remember
what it's like
to forget everything
with someone who won't forget
to remember me

So I lay with  you
because I'm too weak
to stand up
for what I want.

The yellow brick road
is closed for repairs

So here we are.