I'm friends with the kids who smoke cigarettes
Instead of marijuana
The ones who drink vodak
instead of margaritas
The kids who wear all black
And pick pocket lighters
The ones who find home under bridges
And Mark them with graffiti
I'm friends with the kids who go to jail for joy riding thier parents Jeep
And not for getting into fights
We don't sleep at night
But instead we ride
Midnight fries at McDonald's
And 3am confessions
I'm friends with the weirdos
The druggies
The kids who listen to halsey
Before we listen to fetty
The kids who go to prom
Just to sneak out the back
And you may hate us
But we don't care
Because I'm friends with the people who are free
I'm friends with people who are happy

Love was fractured
Down in her soul
faith was tattered
Hope was torn
she was all together broken
What a notion
Giving somone the key to your heart
And letting them destroy it
Tear you apart
Then force you to live with it
Or don't
Live, that is
For they no longer care
It's not fair
Only your trust was teared
Wings were ripped from your back
To prevent you from flying
And they end up fine
With sanity in thier mind
No wonder you want to die
But sweety, there is time
You are stronger than this
You have strength fight
Don't give up
Continue to try
Because one day it will be alright
One day you will get your wings back
And one day you will fly

I do not want
To be touched.
I do not want
You to whisper sweet nothings
Into the air,
Meant for me.

I want someone to fight the world with.
Someone to see the battle
From my eye level.
Someone to raise me up,
So I can see it from theirs.

I do not want
A lover.
I do not want
Passion.

I want fire,
And fire power.

I want a comrade in arms,
I want someone to be my equal,
I want to fight alongside
Someone in this battle of life,
And stand at their level,
And be awarded
With the same valor as them.
I want the same pain,
I want to help them with their struggles,
Because I, too, have been there and theirs.

I want to fight demons off
With a blazing dagger
To protect my friend,
My colleague,
This person I want to stand up and fight with.

Do not mistake me
For a girl who wants
To be a princess.
Who wants to be a fairy.
A goddess.

I do not need the spoils of war.
I need the breath of fresh air,
The honor,
The knowing I have done right by my friends.

I do not want things and gifts and shiny bobbles.
I want to know
That through the thick mustard gas shrouded fog,
When it clears and my vision returns and oxygen finds my lungs once more,
That I can stand by someone,
And in turn they may stand by me.

And together we will feel horror at the trenches,
But when the light of day finds us,
When the enemy's white flag is raised,
We'll have each other,
And in that, even after waking up drenched in cold sweat from the PTSD-induced night terrors,
We will have peace.

I'm really sad right now
But I have no reason to be

Im really anxious right now
And I have no reason to be

Im really craving her right now
And I have no reason to be

I'm alive right now
And I have no reason to be

Never once did I say I love you
the words always rose in the back of my throat
but never passed through my lips
something about them just didn't fit
It seemed, cheasy
almost fake
as if saying I loved her
would put my life at stake,
and thinking about it,
it probably would
I didn't know her that well
and we weren't exactly dating
in fact,
she probably didn't even like me
but I did, indeed
love her
but never once did the words leave my lips
because I learned from pass experiences
that when you say it
everything from there goes down hill
so never once did I say I love you
and I don't regret it
because I lost her either way
but this way I have nothing to miss

I wonder if they remeber me
if im a force to be reckoned with
if when I speak I change atmospheres
or does no one really care?

Do I fill people with emotions
and do I cause a change
Am I someone people are scared to lose?
or someone no one wants to gain

I have lived my life
not wanting to have these questions answered
I have just always been so scared
that I have to come to terms with being normal

again