In the world of steel and blood i was born
crazy they call me iam
writing this song

been hungry in life and clothes torn
in the world of
steel and blood i travelled long

crazy they call me they have been
wrong
in the world of steel and blood i have grown strong

tosses a
fortune and love played ping pong
loved a dame true yet she never
waited long

crazy they call me iam not king kong
in the world of steel
and blood ill never end my song

crazy they call me if love be wrong

in
the world of steel and blood courage strong
Crazy they call me my
heart to wrong
in the world of steel and blood till my final gong

Maybe you’ll come across this someday
A blur of futile conversation that made
no sense at the time but happened nonetheless
neither one of our sparrow mouths
being able to express the why or
wherewithal that made us say or do
what we did at the time with convincing clarity
just two people hammering with crooked communication
tools cranking on each other’s Jack in the Box wire coils
with insufficient answers until some
unsurprising result concluded us
Maybe you’ll come across this someday
when you have children of your own and
are writing poems about all the things
you wished you’d thought of to say
but couldn’t because they won’t want to hear them

Written by Sara Fielder © May 2015

Don't wait, I'm not coming home.
Someday you'll forget me
and I'll forget you.
Don't search for me,
I'm lost.
This emotion is absurdly bitter,
biting into my paper veins; gnashing.
You won't know where I've bled.
Someday, you'll forget my voice
and I'll forget yours.
This moment is a void
flooding with intangible vacuum.
My lungs are ripped open,
did you know how it feels to die?
Don't forget we counted stars
of the starless sky.
I'm drowning but it doesn't matter,
it's not like I can breathe
anymore anyway.
Don't forget you used to tell
bedtimes stories to ghosts
when you thought I fell asleep;
with your hand in mine
the way sun fits into skies
that are not his home.
The miles I've walked away
mean nothing because
I'll turn around and run to you again.
Don't forget I gifted you
the other half of my dream
because you said
you could never dream.
Someday I'll forget
the touch of your fingertips
against mine
and you'll forget mine.
I'm a kaleidoscope spinning
without direction,
shattering and falling
into shards
like a screaming avalanche.
I'm glacial bones,
someday you'll forget
the coldness of my eyes
and I'll forget yours.
The azure of the sky merging
into orange of sun
is only because
they've learned
to be together
and conjure another color.
You and I are oil paints
splattered on black canvas,
a dark vastness
they can't measure.
Someday I'll forget
the number of your scars
and you'll forget mine.
You're stubborn and beautiful,
you'd say you want to take a dive
into the clouds and fly into cliffs.
We're inverted images,
never fitting into each other.
But you're in the mirror
and I'm stumbling into the void.
But you're eyes are still cerulean blue,
mine are still emerald green.
I'll never forget
the soprano of my voice
melting in the tenor of yours.
I'll never forget touch
of your fingertips
through glass doors
or concrete walls.
You'd forget that I still remember
when you told me I'm so deep.
I'm so deep, I drowned you
and you're still gasping for breath,
even after all these years,
I'd know you'll never forget
the precise lengths of my scars.

there are two dollar bills
soaking in saltwater
unsure if their worth is still warranted

a conundrum which parallels my own
work which slips away like an old love
into the passage of fire
unable to see through the smoke

this smoke makes friends with uncertainty
clouding judgmental overtones
or hiding the weeping truth
of dangerous discoveries in my life
where open change closes the doors
leaving cracks to see all
I couldn't complete

where days being single
become years
and all that was planned
falls into alcoholic waste
savoring the love I could share
for no one should claim it
when it sits in the smoke
coated in insecure skin
questioning every second it exists