This is a short story that was written for a contest  'Magic with a cliffhanger'


The young magician had waited all day for his audition on Britain’s Got Talent.

He arrived at the concert hall in London at 7am, even though the doors did not open until 9am. Being two hours early however did not put him at the front of the queue, and the smile of anticipation turned into a scowl when he saw the crowd around the entrance. Hundreds of contestants, both young and old, and boy did they look weird.

Jimmy came from a normal family, and lived in a normal street with other normal people. Looking at this group of strangely dresses misfits, normal did not have any part in their lives.

His first inclination had been to turn away and get the bus back home, but his determination to show his true talent to the obnoxious Simon Cowell helped him overcome his disgust at what he saw in front of him.

He forced himself to join the disorganised mob that he deemed an excuse for a queue and after a few minutes, he found himself wedged between an overweight middle-aged woman and an extremely tall teenager. The woman wore a bright yellow suit with red buttons, and volunteered the information that she had always wanted to run away to the circus to become a clown. Jimmy nodded and gave her a weak smile, a smile that masked his silent opinion that the woman was crazy. Fortunately, the tall teenager kept his ambitions to himself, though the fact he wore a frogman’s outfit did have Jimmy wondering.

When the doors opened a man holding a megaphone came out and bellowed a welcome to the rabble, and he tried to create some sort of order to the aforementioned queue. His attempt failed and as that was the last Jimmy heard of him, he could only assume the man went down at the weight of the pressing mob.

Eventually Jimmy obtained a ticket with the number 304 written on it in bold felt-tipped pen. “304” thought Jimmy, “three hundred and ruddy four, I'll be here hours”.

And it did take hours, hours of purgatory before his number came to the top of the list, hours surrounded by the strangest and most pathetic people that Jimmy had ever met.
Minutes later introductions were made to the two grinning imbeciles that he had seen many times before on the television screen on what seemed like every Saturday evening since he had been born. Suddenly there was a camera in his face as they asked him about props and music. Jimmy shook his head and answered the smiling duo, “I don’t need anything, just my wand and this black cloth”

Ant and Dec ushered the young magician onto the stage.

Jimmy was momentarily stunned at the size of the audience, and more so at the noise they made.

Pulling his thoughts together and taking a deep breath Jimmy walked to the centre of the stage and stood in front of the microphone.

“Hello, what’s your name?” asked one of the female judges.

“My name is Jimmy,” answered the young magician.

“And what are you going to do for us today?”

“I am going to make Simon disappear”

The crowd roared with laughter, the noise was quite overwhelming and Jimmy stepped back a few feet feeling quite dizzy.

Simon Cowell got to his feet waving his hands at the audience and spoke to Jimmy.

“OK, young Merlin, it seems like this unruly mob want to see your trick. Do you want me to come on stage, or are you going to magic me away from there”.

Jimmy regained his composure when he heard Simon’s pleasant voice, and saw his beaming smile.

“Can you come up here please,” said Jimmy.

Simon walked up the steps onto the stage and stood before Jimmy.

Jimmy unfolded the black cloth that he had been holding, it became bigger and bigger as it unfolded and the crowd roared with yet more laughter.

The young magician asked Simon to cover himself in the cloth, which he did without objection.

The crowd roared some more as they heard Simon shout out. “Hurry up Jimmy, I can’t see anything from under this cloth, and I'm scared of the dark”.

Jimmy took out his wand and waved it around while he mumbled a few well-chosen mystical words.

“Hubble, bubble, away from here, obnoxious Simon disappear”

Jimmy tapped the black cloth that was completely covering the self-professed “biggest man in show business”.

The black cloth crumpled to the stage in a small pile as the cheers and screams grew louder as the audience witnessed the disappearance of Simon.

Jimmy knelt down and refolded the black cloth as Ant and Dec strolled onto the stage both clapping in unison.

“Brilliant,” said Ant.

“Where is he”, said Dec.

“Gone” replied Jimmy...

as he walked off stage.

I was at school in a running race
and was first across the line
The feeling that came over me
was one of so sublime

I was at once up floating
on the clouds so high and free
When back to ground I soon came
as it was stole from me

Disqualified I know not why
they didn't even mention
The outcome was no medal
instead a week in lone detention

It was deemed that I had cheated
and was a pure disgrace
And a week of being on my own
would wipe the smile from my face

To say that I had been hard done
was surely oh so true
For what in fact occurred that day
I sadly never knew

Never was it in my mind
to defeat my friends by cheating
None of them objected,
it was solely parents bleating

My success was short and not so sweet
and has left me feeling raw
Which shows how deeply I was hurt
as it occurred when I was four

I woke up feeling dreadful
after a night out on the town
and did my best to smile
but could only frown

The lady laying next to me
said "who the hell are you"
which shows how rough I looked that morn
as it was my love so true

She berated me with words so harsh
for getting in that state
asking when I'd got home
she knew it must be late

But for all the questions put to me
for answers I had none
no idea where I'd been
or of what I'd done

Picking up the phone and dialling
my wife did ring my pal
The Spanish Inquisition
they had nothing on this gal

He got asked a thousand questions
at the speed of light
and as luck would have it
he got them mostly right

As the conversation finished
and she put down the phone
my darling wife looked at me
and said in a sweet tone

Apparently you behaved yourself
even while off your head
telling all and sundry
of the lovely girl you'd wed

About how much you were missing me
while being out alone
and what you were going to do to me
when you got back home

You told them all you loved me
and that you'd married well
in fact anyone that listened
you did gladly tell

So with a smile she kissed me
while whispering in my ear
she said "I love you too my darling"
as she shed a tear

And that is why I'm happy
and content as I can be
'cause the girl I love and treasure
is also loving me

He slipped on a banana skin
but it didn't make me laugh
I've had more fun when cleaning
the tide stain from a bath

And the joke I heard from that great wit
I didn't even smile
the punch line soared above my head
and missed me by a mile

When at the circus clowns were playing
and their car exploded
comical I found it not
my humor has eroded

Not even a grin was on my face
while others screamed with joy
it seems there is no hope for me
I'm a melancholic boy

I search in vain for my funny bone
but it look like it's not there
nothing can amuse me
and no one seems to care

Before I'd get a "Cheer-up Dad"
and encouragement all round
now they just pass me by
and look for safer ground

So I'll have to just accept my life
and say that this is it
and accept what they're all saying...
That I am a miserable sad old ***.

The End

She said to me she liked my suit but...
"Bite your tongue" I replied
She said "but no I only meant..."
"I don't need your approval" I lied

"It really is quite nice" she whispered
her face now red with shame
"Like it or not, I hardly care
to me it's all the same"

I walked away with head held high
but feeling oh so bad
why had I uttered these angry words
and made her look so sad

Was  it the disappointment
that she hadn't oohed and aahed
after the time I had spent choosing
were my  feelings so on guard

I'd wanted her to be proud of me
and give me so much praise
but as usual the "but" was added
it was always there these days

So my defensive ego reared up
and had bitten her in spite
criticism I couldn't take
and my nerves told me to fight

Scream at the World and be ******
my inner self did shout
as tears now rolled down my face
while I looked for a way out

Taking my courage in both hands
I turned and wiped my eyes
"Forgive me please I'm sorry
for emitting all those lies"

"It's my love of all things you
that has made me highly strung
I only wish that I'd been silent
and bitten my own tongue"

She looked at me with sadness
and then turned her head away
"Goodbye you ******* ******"
was all I heard her say

The End.

The Mermaid (Part One)

The evening was cool
and the sky was so clear
And ripples of waves
were all I could hear

The moon shone bright
and stars twinkled on high
Then from out of nowhere
came so seductive a sigh

I looked out to sea
to whence this sound came
And my eyes did believe
they were playing a game

For as waves lapped around
a rock out at sea
I saw a beautiful vision
who was staring at me

Naked as love
she sat all alone
On that rising edifice
of black granite stone

Her body so wondrous
that I shook with such lust
But a smile so pure
that my thoughts were unjust

Her hair was entangled
with luscious green kelp
That protected her modesty
without man-made help

It hung down over *******
so excitingly full
And covered the parts
that are made to enthral

My mind quickly taken
by this girl of my dreams
But as I looked closer
all was not as it seems

For legs this beauty
was completely bereft
And a long fishy tail
was all she had left

Then with a smile
that made my heart still
She slipped into the water
and I saw she was real

For she dived like a dolphin
under azure sea
And all that was left
were the ripples and me



The End........or is it?



The Mermaid (Part Two)

The man with the tear soaked eyes walked along the beach for the thousandth time, his hands were shaking and his lips quivering in the cold, he constantly looked out to sea, where was she, would she ever return, would she mend his broken heart. He had but caught a fleeting glimpse of this beauty as she preened herself on that ancient granite rock, but a glimpse was all it had taken; he was completely besotted by this angel from the deep.
Even now, weeks after the event he could still see every tiny detail of his wondrous vision, the sparkling brown eyes that outshone the sun, and the kelp entangled hair that seemed to be alive with light and glistened with the reflection from the moon. Her heaving ******* that had caused the man in him to want her body for his own ****** pleasures, and that oh so innocent smile that had replaced the pure animal lust within him with a more protective desire to take her in his arms and cherish her.
He had not kept her appearance a secret, he had told everyone he had met, and he had talked and talked and talked. He wanted to tell everyone about his dream girl, his mermaid from the deep, his beautiful fish tailed siren. But would they listen to him? The answer was no, a resounding no. He was laughed at, ridiculed, pointed at and made out to be the village idiot, just because he wanted to share what he had seen. But he didn’t care, he would see her again, he knew he would see her again; he had to see her again, otherwise, well otherwise he would go crazy.
Another tear ran down his face as he once again looked at the vacant rock where his angel had once sat and realised that maybe they were right, maybe he was mad, just a demented old fool, someone that had let his dreams overtake reality. His heart wrenched tear fell to the sand and along with his hopes and dreams soaked into nothingness; He turned away and looked no more, he must preserve his sanity at all costs so he walked away and returned to the boredom of his sad uneventful life.
So he was not there an hour later when a ripple formed in the water as a dream like beauty pulled herself from the sea and perched on her favourite granite rock. She looked around, but he was not there, maybe it was her imagination but she was sure she had seen love in his eyes, maybe if she waited he would return, but no, she was being foolish, she slipped off the rock once more and plunged deep into the dark forbidding sea, back to reality she told herself, back in the water where nobody could see her tears.

The End