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Diagnosis now confirmed
no need to worry anymore
all's that left is to exist
based on the verdict I can't dismiss

checkbox marked on the form
DSM stating the obvious
discerning the true verdict
from the wreckage of my life

now the path has been prescribed
in the book of consequence
unknown pages yet unturned
none or more before the cure

being broken is not enough
medicine must be consumed
if the diagnosis is made firm
the undoing is all that's left.

© 2018. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20180202.
“Diagnosis” is about the other side of figuring out what is what.
6
I tried to make a call
I tried to reach your wall
I tried not to stop
But my phone just gave up.
Life is full of ups
and downs , so each day you wake
live the best you can
-----
May it be sad or
happy we just never know
So keep on smiling
-----
Keep going forward
Through this mental maze of life
Be a butterfly
"Under the tree sat Buddha, meditating with his fear.
He grew to understand how to face Mara, less his habitual red ears.

The red ears of resentment,
The red ears from fright,
The red ears that pushed him from tranquility to fight or flight.

A similar story comes to mind,
One I know all too well.

The story of mine is a tale to tell,
As long as judgements forever set sail.

Leaving the moment for the past, I see a hateful boy.
Distant from the world around me, so confused & annoyed.

Transformed from my façade of impersonation, to the feeling of being lost.
Stemming from the monotonous & everlasting worriment in thought.

From mediation I understand, what red ears did to me.
The red ears transformed my thought process,
Into someone I'd grow to see.

From growth came lessons, and new habits from within.
To sit with perceived problems patiently takes courage & a half Buddha grin.

A smile to acknowledge,
An acknowledgment of growth.
For the one I was to who I've become had to happen, as if renewal were a must.

The change was essential, & shall stand the test of time,
from the old wondering & circumventing rollercoaster thought ride.

The form of wonder we know all too well, that steals us from here & now.
I wish we could all learn how to live presently & apart from the modern crowd.

Tranquility was foreign to me, however the possession of is a must.
A must that changes a boy to man, which should happen before skin to dust.

While undergoing transformation, a man will come to see,
That who he wanted to be is he, while listening under the tree.

As I sit back to reflect, I can now understand.
I understand how the test of time transformed me from boy to man."
The Enlightened One's tale retold in comparison to the changes I've underwent through practicing meditation.
Days like today bring me to reminisce,
of the life we shared, now an abyss.

Recent life has been testing,
this lonely Mother’s Day solidifies your resting.
Today it feels more like you were never here,
what type of life is it that I’m now investing?

Posed with the question of happiness.
what is this meaning without you?
living today admonishes the truth,
only former memories allow me your bliss.

Mixed feelings of love and hatred,
circumvent in this current conquest.
As I contemplate reaching out I'm reminded,
that your remains are all that is left.

Be at peace with the truth,
is the message you conveyed well.
I question God about this new reality,
a life filled with constant duality.

Your loss is permanent,
& recognizing this is pertinent.
This daily battle without you,
I cope because your gift of a DNA armament.

“Time brings perspective”,
were the words that escaped from your soul.
You are still my everything,
and today I escape into your memory.
What you love you must love now. RIP Cynthia Goosen. Your memory lives on! #love #depression #longing #sadness #mourning #pain # mothers-day
You once asked me if there was anything I wouldn't tell you.

I told you that I didn't think so.

And, at the time I really did believe that.

But, now I realize that that was just me,

Not telling you the things I wouldn't tell you.

How ironic.
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