I stayed up until midnight
Last night
Worrying about whether or not
You know
That I love you.
About whether or not
You know
That I'd never ever come between you
And who raised you.
Wondering if you know
That I'm not like that.
That I'm not so terrible,
I promise.
I would never insinuate,
I would never dare imply
Anything like that.
And while I understand
What you said was driven by frustration
At my inability to move past
The things that have been done to me,
The things that have I have seen,
And my own doubting of my worth
In comparison to how much you should
Care for me.
And while I understand that,
My heart hurts,
To put it in the simplest of terms.
I know you love me,
I do not know or understand why.
But I know you do.
I fell asleep last night,
Crying into your sweatshirt,
My fingers tangled in the wire of my earbuds that were in your ipod,
Hoping that if I tried hard enough,
I could imagine that the ipod and the wires
Would be your hand and fingers
Laced with mine
As I drift into my nightmares.
I'm sorry and I know this doesn't make anything better,
But I'm scared and I need to know
That you know
I'd do all I can
To prove to you
That what matters to you
Matters to me.