If I count all the reasons why I should be angry this evening
All the reasons why I should be sad
Every reason why I should be devastated
Disappointed, forlorn and infinitely mad

If I count all those reasons

My evening will stretch and border me in
It'll make tragic synapses with the night
My time will be smothered with numbers
Mathematics will hold me back from a beautiful twilight

I shouldn't count those reasons

... I should just leave them to be
Like every other bottled up emotion
Maybe I won't be able to close the lid
Maybe the pressure will cause an explosion

But maybe... 

Maybe I'll focus on the classical music
Emerging from the next door apartment
It'll take me somewhere, a nicesomewhere
And the pen will involuntarily find the parchment

The mathematical evening will turn into a poetic one
One thankful for music, beauty and art
For those treasured moments in my memory lane
With their fair emotions that colored my heart

Maybe the future will turn into a canvas
And the night a finally finished masterpiece
The white walls a space to think and develop
And tomorrow a new thought to believe

I've always hated mathematics

The way everything was narrowed down
To only two shades of life, black and white
I rather loved my rich box of pastels
Where every moment has its shade of right

And by the end of the evening

I came to a tie

Two piles of reasons
Piles that mathematics created
And I know today is a choice
So I'd rather choose the lighter weight 

●●●

my son is a better version of me

i easily break
he rides storms smilingly

i crumble in a crisis
he handles stoically

my emotions play loud on face
he hides it handsomely

i'm doubtful of exploring
he ventures courageously

i speculate on life too much
he bothers not seriously

Here the pines blush
in the cloud's embrace
the sky comes low
falls for earth's face

the winds kiss
long lines of wood
fog weaves dense
peace of solitude

Here the curves
meanders blind
on magical turns
stumbles mind

all inner demons
the high lands slay
on angel's wings
you fall love's prey.

When you died
the world did not change.

A pebble tossed to the bottom
of a bottomless lake
left only a fractional ripple
and disappeared.

That you were here
mattered very little.
It did not change the tides
or stop the winds.

In your end
A handful of family and friends
felt deep anguish
but the world still turned.
Infinity still burned.
Eternity did not feel
the aching cost of loving that
which was forever lost.

The view outside my window
Did not stay the same.
The season changed.

I felt the cycles of pain
bouncing back
year after year
harder at first then softening some;
Waking in pain,
then easing some.

Till, I was intermittently numb.
Then I forgot to grieve.
You are still a part of me
but even I go on
turning like the earth, without you.

Make me immortal

              with the very touch,

you woke me up once

       from  a slumber of millenniums.