you find a completely empty picnic area--
showing up dressed as a widow.
black kerchief wrapped around your head--
tied at the chin, a predominance of cheeks
with a buggy-bulge of purple horn rim glasses.
barefoot with a black dress on, obscuring
splatters of sweat: back/*******/paunch.
holding an ice sculpture of a fruit basket on a
ninety degree day.
you spread a white sheet & set it down, as
large ants congregate on this succulently
carved chunk of ice.
you then get naked, save for the black kerchief--
as if undergoing a strip search in prison.
sitting Indian style--chanting the sutras of an
emotional *******, while periodically licking
the melting fruit basket to sate your thirst.
until one of the large ants bites your tongue.

1965
she was 15
and I was 5

The reclining sun tanned her face
her eyes hidden in 60s goggles
and the vast wheat field behind
colored her brown.

Can't remember if it was Agfa or Orwo
the tint was of distant land
and Virginia came to mind.

It wasn't the girl
standing on a rice field
eyes lowered blushing
the colours of her glass bangles
irrecognizable in black and white
that I could easily fall in love with.

But I cried to be with the Virginia Girl
and I was only 5.

She is still 15 in the timeless print
and I'm 5.

Going round in circles
Like a boat upon waters
Of a moat

Seeing the same scene
Over and over
And everything in-between

The journey becomes tiresome
"I've seen it all before"
Then Heraclitus comes knocking at the door

Kick off my shoes
Feet once again
Sliver into the river

I'm seeing everything
For the first time
Again

Sometimes it’s not possible to tune in.
Sometimes it’s not possible to find meaning.

Sometimes the box doesn’t fit me,
Or I don’t fit the box.

If I could find a box to which I fit
What colour would it be?