Do you remember
last year when you thought I'd become an alcoholic
you thought that I'd kissed a bottle more than I did you
thought that the heat and the sting felt better to me
than the warmth and comfort of your touch
you thought that I'd get lost in loops of days and nights
of bottles and flasks and you feared
with all your heart that you would lose me

So I stopped drinking

and then you left.
and you took with you all the best parts of me
all the parts that mattered, that kept me sane
left with you in the back pocket of your light blue jean shorts
tucked inside an envelope labeled "Stable"
after you left it all went rickety
like shabby old doors barring paths to rooms
I hoped would never open again
rooms that kept behind the demons you helped me hide
demons we knew we couldn't destroy so we learned to live
with them just sitting, listening. Waiting. and now you've left
they're breaking out. In hordes they come
screaming out pent up curses waiting for my blood
and the is no beverage strong enough that
can take your taste from my lips
or numb my fingers from your touch
or blur my mind from your memory
or burn your soul from my body
now there is only me
and this empty bottle

No one thinks the sun will die
We look up and see eternity in its light
but the sun is just a star.
A massive ball of gas
Burning itself for everyone.


For you, and only you
I tried to be the sun
I tried to bring light to the darkest parts of your world
and show you everything you thought was shadow
Where once you saw black I showed you blues
greens, reds, yellows and White.
At times you were cold. so I embraced you
Warmth, heat. That was my love
But I guess I loved too much.
"it hurts" you said
too much too much too much
"it burns" you said
TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO ******* MUCH

im sorry

You went inside, away from me
my light, my warmth
You hid. Under artificial lights
artificial warmth
why. why. why

I waited.
Like a dog I waited patiently
I waited.

One day, you went out, cold again
you looked everywhere
for the light and warmth that you loved
and that loved you
but all you found was shadow
and dark. and cold

after all
the sun is just a star.
A massive ball of gas
Burning itself for everyone.
and it will
burn
out.