Staying awake all night.
You next to me, chest barely rising.
(I have to put my hand there just to make sure.)

At four you wake, go fetch a water for us to share.
Ask if I've slept, when I reply you sigh and rub my back in a dreamy haze.

"We lose ourselves in the things we love
We find ourselves there, too."

The smell of coffee and black sharpie fill your senses
Dragging yourself out of bed, you wrap the sheet around your naked body
Your head hurts more with every movement, every thought.

The sticky note on the door
written in small, squished, boy-like writing
"I never promised you forever."

I spoke French for thirteen years
I say to him
And he smiles.

More cheese.

Soft night yields to love,
Rap is the only hard night sound,
The White man is out of his depth,
Even in French.

He leans forward and whispers in my ear but,
The first lie was mine.

We’ll count them later,
In the fullness of time.

The throbbing headache and nausea
I can endure; I've had worse.
Right now I could cry,
such a raw hope consumed me
as I thought about you, desperate.
It was still dark for me then,
when I needed you. Now it's day.
It brings a true smirk to my face
to know you are nothing more
than a night of binge drinking:
a foolish part of my youth,
a consequence of boredom.
I could not hold your liquor,
I vomited all that bile you said to me
in the hedges outside. Don't fret,
this is not a bad memory, in fact
you might never be a memory at all.
I am well. I will drink better and
far more dangerous poisons.
I am today, you are only last night.

Hard *****
beneath broken halo
Alabaster skin torn
And *****

Cigarette stained fingers 
Clasp ancient 
Star maps
All knowledge soulless 
And without time 
Floods

Feathers frayed 
On wings
Limp, wilted
Surrounds broken shell
Gritty and covered with
Filth

Scorned gifts
Miracles returned to 
Science
Nothing more
To be done
Labored breathes
Slow in disbelief

Sitting curbside, 
Bare feet in the puddled
Street
Enshrouded, frail
Awaiting
The bus back home

I enjoy
The bliss in life.
The often unnoticed
Abyss of life.

The Touch-your-toes,
Now-head-and-shoulders,
Feather-in-your-hat,
Swo­rds-stuck-in-boulders
Sides of life.

Looking up
And out at the sky,
The cold wind
Greets my skin and my bones.
In the grass,
With you,
I lie…

Talking about how too many people
Live sheltered lives
And how they try and make us clones.

I put my hand on my chest,
And feel
My heart beat inside of me.
I close my eyes,
And no longer doubt,
I’m where I’m supposed to be.

Music
Of Acceptance
And forgiveness
Can mend the wall
It will cure any plague
You are not broken
You wont listen
The pain is on the surface
And the future
Can soothe deep scars
Problems can be dismounted by solutions
Peace is the solution
The walls I've destroyed
Pulverized bricks smashed cement
All are still whole
The constraints you had
Are lifted
And all the doubt you have
and sickness
Rapidly blinks out of existence.

why didn't I
tell you
that I
loved
you?
I
hated
that you
tell me...
you did...
Why?