you used to be my light.
I wear sunglasses now.

he cuts into my skin
like the knife he took
away from me.

he promised me
he'd never leave.
where is he now?

I feel so empty
and now I feel
like living my last day.

the back of my neck.
my collarbone area.
the area between my ****.
the area under my ****.
my stomach.
my wrists.
my back.
my hips.
my thighs.
my calves.

am I truly that evil?
comparable to relentless bullies,
the ones that you embody.

am I that awful?
like looking in mirror
seeing a body you despise.

am I that annoying?
like the voice of depression
that sounds a lot like you.

fingers- i landed my boat here, when i first met you. your fingers twirled together absentmindedly and they still do and i'm still get lost whenever i wander onto the dark beaches.
hands- i discovered these peninsulas when you pulled me along on your adventures after I landed on the beaches and they were so rough yet so wonderful and i honestly want to get lost here more often.
wrists- i found these a bit more on the mainland, still flanked by water and they were so narrow that i was afraid i would fall off into the water and i wonder how those thick colorful bracelets stay on.
cheeks- one day i wanted to go on a hike so i decided to climb up these steep mountains and whenever something beautiful sailed by you these beautiful red begonias popped up and i'm a little upset that i didn't make them pop up but i'm glad they didn't bloom around me because i got to see the natural red hills and i got to love them.

but i made a mistake because i never went south and maybe i would have gotten lost somewhere else more beautiful but if i went south, i wouldn't have found the beautiful pools that some call your eyes and that would've been the real loss.

him-                                                                                her-
smug                                                                              content
artist                                                                               writer
excited                                                                            lazy
music maker                                                                  music listener
caring                                                                             apathetic
midnight kisses                                                              midnight calls
skipped practices                                                           skipped dates
large appetite                                                                 large body
small body                                                                     small appetite
the nbhd                                                                        the neighbourhood
instagram                                                                      youtube
mine                                                                               hers

when i met you the first time, i got chills.
i was suddenly cold.
i learned more about you and fell.
pretty hard.
the more i talked to you, the colder i felt.
i began seeing snowflakes in your eyes and flurries on your skin.
your snow buried me.
the white fluffy flakes that were directly from your heart entered my lungs and i drowned in you.
then, it began storming.
hard.
blizzards blew across the expanse of your sunken caves that laid between two sharp mountains.
i was snowed in for three months without love or hope or happiness.
the sun that i compare him to came out and melted you.
i'm still afraid of the cold.

you are like a bowl of hot soup on a cold day.
everyone is awaiting you and everyone needs you.
there isn't a person who can deny you.
or like a big ice cream cone in the middle of summer.
everyone's favorite.
but i am the frostbite that leads to you in winter.
and the sunburn that you make seem better when it is hot.
unfortunately, people don't want me.
they only want you.
but yet, I am necessary.
you are not nearly as spectacular without me.
-h.m