I'd like to cut my heart open
to take you out
or maybe
to see you one more time

not scared of the dark, or spiders, or rollercoasters
but of this feeling of falling... with you.
scared to let myself really go, because i know i'll blink
and i'll be over my head in all that you are.
but i hang onto you
and you lay on me like a blanket.
and so i think this works.
you laugh at the stupidest things i say and i just laugh at everything.
and so i think this works.
you tell me you'll marry me
and sometimes you say it with so much conviction
that
i know this works.
and then i'm not scared anymore.
only scared of the dark, and spiders, and rollercoasters
but not of this, and not you.
i'm not scared.

I think back to our first moments together.
Sneaking eyes under flower crowns and balloons.
Looking across crowds of people for you subconsciously,
noticing you noticing me noticing you.
To look back on that time tinges everything with a vintage haze,
like viewing the history before something monumental.
Each person holding their breath and each step bringing us closer
to everything.
I want to go back to the first time I asked myself "what if it's us?";
the first time I truly saw you for everything that you could grow to mean to me.