I know the pain you feel is deep,
your want from life is simple peace.
And though I cannot guarantee,
please listen closely, as I speak.

Presently you stroll alone,
searching for a hand to hold.
You feel your sorrow in your bones,
in harshest sun, you still feel cold.

Pre - dawn, however, is darkest night
that must be followed by morning light.
I pray you won't give up the fight,
the universe will set things right.

I know at times, it seems unclear
that happiness is always near.
But wholly I believe my dear,
someday soon, you'll find some cheer.

It is a good death that I die today.
The sun is speaking with warmth to clouds who
drift along to hear the tales.
The waters flow with guidance from the wind
and the trees sigh with delight.
You are standing before me and the silence is overwhelming.
I stare into your eyes and you smile softly
vanishing with the leaves.
It is a good death that I die today.
My footfalls leave no trace and the faces pass me by.
So full of wonder, full of life,
but hard to see through eyes that strain,
minute by minute,
adjusting to a world so bright,
it seems so dark...
It is a good death that I die today,
to come from a shout in the everlasting black mystery,
a lonely heartbeat surviving in the cold;
a place where stars fall and children whisper dreams...

I do feel in another time.
The cultures of a life long past mine,
the voices long dead and the thoughts of those who once questioned the reason of living and the mystery of dying linger here where we think we rule.
I can breathe the same air, think the same thoughts...
Ghosts become ghosts and we carry the past in all our movements.

Every step we take may not be in the exact footprint as those who came before us, but they are in the same dirt.

Sleep escapes me
when the waking dream seems to fade
back into it's dull reality,
piercing pain and endless disappointments.

my face is hot with anger
and I scream in silence,
clutching my pillow, clutching onto what's left here
hoping you don't let me go
as easily as you took me into your life.

the past will not be altered
you've made your mark.
I can't erase it even if I wanted to.
I'll try to reassemble the shattered trust
but it's harder than it would ever seem.
can't you see that i'm trying,
can't you see that i care?

I steal the breath, the sleep runs away from me
all of my fears taunting me and my fatigue,
and as it sets in,
I look up, begging,
don't let me go- just like that.

Who he once was deteriorated away,
tubes and IV's interlocked with his frail frame.
With impractical faith we persisted,
and hoped he would respond to his name.

Infuriated with my uncertain Lord,
I begged and bargained,
my knees shaking on the tile floor.

A naive and scared child,
great hope had generated delusion.
until Doctor White Coat's unhappy news,
a stern and brutal intrusion.

Then a shadow was cast over her face
it was a sadness in her eyes.
I harbored her pain atop my own
as it radiated, she cried.

Death stole my mother's love-
I couldn't help but feel that loss
that difficulty keeping pace, taking breaths.
It was a lie to hold this cross.

Generic cards and casserole plates,
many faces of pity and "I'm sorry's"
that just couldn't relate.

I envied their laughter, their happy small talk,
passing strangers with contentment in their walk.

Sure they do not know or maybe they could not understand,
how much pain we felt.
For this loss- of a father, a husband-
abruptly pushed us under Fate's upper hand.

The last time I noticed I was alone,
the jester yawned beside the throne.


Then wisdom drained in pouring rain, the kind that causes peculiar pain.
I closed my eyes and dreamed a dream
that gravity had changed its mind
and threw the ones who strive to fly into the freedom of the sky.

But...
those who chained themselves to gods,
some made of words and gold,
were fastened closely to the ground by pride and all they chose to hold.
Then all the thoughts and actions built around my shadow like a tomb,
began to sing a humble song, like voices from a patient womb.

So here I'll stand and wait in wonder as the voices still persist,
until the time will come when I can understand how to exist .