Friday, April 14th ,2017 // 9:37 AM

Here’s the thing with guts.
your guts , my guts.
I hate your guts,
I want you deep inside my guts.
Guts. They make me who I am,
Indecisive.

But who isn’t?
when it comes to the boy you love, you hate him, don’t you?
Don’t tell me you love him, that’s not love.
Love is hating someone with a passion, a burning passion.
Mad at them for taking parts of you little by little,

but they spark a flame in you,
soon the red flame cools down, it’s blue.
and so you melt, you feel the smile aching,
but you can’t.

You built yourself from scratch, how can someone take all that away from you.
guts, they make me who I am.

I hate him,I love him, but I also fear him.
I can’t help but think of the agonising pain I’ll feel once he leaves me.
Don’t shame me for fearing commitment, it’s not illogical.

The amount of love I hold for him can **** once unleashed, once mistreated.
Can you imagine the damage that’ll be done once he leaves?
guts, they make me who I am.

What if I follow my guts?
I’m no longer secure
I’m no longer me
For if I was I in such predicament,
I wouldn’t let a boy infest my mind the way this one has.

So what if my guts are wrong? They make me who I am.

Only scarecrows crow about the things they
think they know about
while the ragamuffin rooks keeps schtum.

I played in the arcades as the ghost train rolled away
and the one armed bandits clapped their hands on
the pier of my holiday.

these are the nightmares we can't run from
the fears that we all face
the men of straw that we become and
the memory we erase.

Long after,
when the crops have gone
and the frost lays on the naked
earth the scarecrow still
lives on.

When my tears stop falling over the “I’m sorrys”
When you’re asleep and i’m dying to be calling you
When it’s 3am and I haven't slept because I'm dehydrated and craving you
When I can have no worrys and have complete trust
When that ******* pixie dust does it’s job and
When the 11:11 wishes come true
When I don't have to lie awake and alone
When I don't have to shield my heart from destruction
When these walls can fall down
When I can trust in love
When I believe it's enough
When I can hold you
When 100 miles becomes 0
When you see me
When her and I become we
When we can watch the sunset in each other's arms and
When the promises are kept
When I see you
When?

It’s not that big a surprise
How much I adore Amsterdam
Like immigrants long ago
So welcomed here just as I am
In the historic Lloyd Hotel
To witness a wedding so swell
I’m glad I’m here in Amsterdam

Canals and bikes aplenty
Whizzing past on every street
The Keukenhof gardens amazed
VanGogh’s Museum made me weep
I’m glad I’m here in Amsterdam

We walked for miles & took the train
Our flight home I made not a peep
It must have been that Space Cake
We ate it and went right to sleep
A fond farewell to Amsterdam