I want to sail away from here
Into a mist
so thick
and so fragrant
I could swear
I could touch it
and it would be solid
in an island
in the middle of the Atlantic
in a bathtub
nothing too big, dear
I swear, just one more hit, go back to bed
something as solid
something new
something real
I need something real
to touch
to hold
something
someone
I swear, I'm losing it
I thought I woke up
from this nightmare of human existence
what kind of a God
could possibly hurt me like this
I want to sail away from here
in a little boat
somewhere far away
somewhere that doesn't matter
I swear I'm losing it
there can't be anything good in here
No, there can't I'm so lost
there can't be
this can't work right
why can't I talk?
No, I need something
to right
I need something to matter to me
I need an island
something solitary
I just need
a fog
let me have my fog

He stood at the gates
with a shot glass in his hand
and the tears of his wife
falling from his hands
and he left everything he had
at home
with coughing
in his lungs
cholrine
and bleach
and the scent of hospitals
and death
and desire
and he can't fight it
he can't fight anymore
her faceless lies and her weak
eyes
beating at her lungs
and he
leaves
it all behind
pushing through the gates
to find
something to live for.

Is it okay
if sometimes
I can't tell the difference between
you and me
the places that separated us
have gone and disappeared
and now when you're gone
I am too
and I can't take anymore of this
I hear drums in the background
and it must be a sonata
waiting for me to conduct it
a pulsing rhythm
In and out
like the swell of a crowd
with the sweat intermingling
and I can't tell
who you are
you're just a circle
nothing but a circle
something fluid like the water
dripping from my shirtsleeves
in the dark
in the dark with no blue moon anymore
you took my blue moon
when you left
and you can stay away
because I can't handle this
I just can't
I can't live
with this solitude
So someone come along
and free me
from the mental

**** this all to hell.
Ignore the screeching
from my machines
and the clack of his cold
steel boots
on a marble floor
because we don't need them anymore
we can survive on our own
on this barren planet
with our own rose bushes
and thorns
to end it.

Don't you dare leave him here
Don't you dare
Don't you dare leave him here
She felt as if he wasn't even there
wasn't listening
was lost in an abyss
as if he didn't matter
as if he didn't care
and I told you to be there
but this world can't understand
the whispers of my breaking mind
shattering under the pressure
of the sea
When I crack
when I break
don't cry
listen to my voice
saying
"I wasn't okay!"
and each time I bring my fever to my lips and inhale
and let out a steady stream of blue smoke
I feel
inhibition
slipping away
in the rain
and if I run into the river
without help
let the thunder
stroke my ego
until I feel
important
again.

I fear the dark
because it has been my escape
and not my salvation
and your brown hair could mop a ballroom
but right now
all I want
is to feel
your skin
is that so bad
is it so bad to hope
that someone understands?