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I like when you say
you love me—
but tell me, too,
that you like being near me.

Say it clearly.

It seems to hit me harder
than a simple
“I love you.”
History may repeat itself
But so do my words:
"I'm fine."
A lie I've perfected over time.
The truth?
I've been lost for a while.
You’re the bird on the mountain,
chasing the wind,
carrying no ties,
looking for something you can’t name

I’m on the ground
watching you go
breaking quietly,
while wishing you’d ask me along

The same wind that lifted you
blew out what we had
and I’m left in the smoke
still looking your way.
Five of Cups.
I keep clinging
to the spilled wine,
wishing it would return
to the glass—
but it never will.

And now I wonder:
which one of them
is the spilled wine?
Which one
can’t I let go?
You have nothing
to apologize for.
Don’t you see?
It was me—
I opened the window,
I opened the door,
I fed the hope
of a love

—something that will never happen.
She sat alone, beside the door
not asking much, not asking more.

She didn’t wait for steps to fall
but for a glance.
No cry. Just call.

. . .

She wasn’t silent out of fear,
nor lost for words that wouldn’t clear.

She simply held that hush so deep
your broken soul
could rest, could sleep.

. . .

When you were cruel, she did not shake.
When you were low, she’d bend, not break.

She breathed like grass, a quiet thing,
forgave it all, just with a blink.

. . .

You could have left.
Or screamed. Or lied.
Or tossed your anger off with pride.

She knew it all.
She didn’t plead.
She breathed, just breathed
like hope, like need.

. . .

And if you left and never came
past morning’s hush, beyond the flame

she still would sit…
no names, no cries…
and watch the night
as if
it shines.
The light hits my skin different
the sun would never
leave behind traces of love
I have yet to see the same artistic expression
during the day
This contrast
leaves blisters on my hands
Waking up under a spell
my feet hurt
Photographic memories of you
make love
to my soul
Full of dreary absence
and dozy
my large tears brim
Let them fall
Splash
I am the jagged reflection of a broken mirror
A fractured representation of hopelessness and fear
Nothing in front of me,
Only unbridled despair catching up from the rear
And I don't have another gear
So casually it's told to me
That it's so easy
But easy isn't described so easily
Comfort torn apart with a frenzy,
Pulled out from under me
Left with nothing
Just an emptiness that feeds the suffering
To move on I need,
~"I AM IN NEED"~
Of some kind of buffering
But no one is listening
So I have to ask,
"Do I want to move on...?"
What an impossible question
I must have missed some crucial lesson
Can not find the life or death connection
But life's not kind,
There is no rewind
In a human mind
That's something you can't find
Thankfully I do not sit alone, it's me and depression
A dysfunctional concoction
But it seems to be my only connection
To my reflection

©2025
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