Am I here? Is anyone here?
Can you feel me cry?
I wonder when it gets better
Should I snort some life?
Should I judge myself
Tiring love and hateful glances
why won't you love me?
who am I? Am I here or am I gone?
does anything matter

"i care about you
you're pretty
i love you
i want you
of course i care
i'm sorry
we'll always be friends
never again
you mean so much to me
never be more than friends
i hate you
you're disgusting
i used you
we can never be friends again
i ******* hate you
you're fat
you're ugly"
i will never know how you really feel

pushing through the crowd
vision twisting and reality altered
i turn around to check if you're still behind me. everyone slowly moving
body parts mended with the crowd
looking behind me and making eye contact to see you're still following me
smoking together
laughing and staying together
our minds were attached
i was in love with that life
for you to deny that...
i feel like i'm something easily forgotten
you forgot me with ease
what we had was nothing to you
to me, it was everything in the world
i miss the way you looked at me in the middle of those parties
i still turn sometimes to see you
only to see
you're gone

my dreams are only you
i wake with an ache and a pain in my chest with your name
your smile on my eyes
your laugh echoes in my chest
then i see you..with her
somehow i'm never out of tears
never ending and lustful i'm stuck on you
when i'm finally alone, all i can do is weep
weep for an opportunity missed
weep for a soul lost
weep until i'm asleep and you fill my dreams again

I'm living the same day over and over.
The same slights and conversations
I miss your spontaneousness
Every day tires me and steals my passion
I was a goddess of energy and care with you
I really don't know how long has gone by
All my days mend together and clash
My spirit is dead and my eyes are closed
You always had me on my toes
I miss your eyes, deep brown with a twinkle of a lie
You made me feel like I was beautiful
Every day is the same, horrible, dead day
I miss the life you filled me with
I feel like I'm stuck on an endless loop of punishment
I need you back in my life