Can't. Won't. Will not.
I see you there. My weakness.
You aren't always there. You pick
And You choose.
Heart bump. Instagram. Dread.
Same old game. Can't grow up. Can not move on. You're always there. Waiting.
Apathy. Desire. Fear. Loathing.
A cycle of reincarnation. An atheist Buddha. The same life. Feeling new by it's blistening intensity. Just raw.
Festering and sterile.
I do blame You. For everything. But I won't walk away from You. Depression is obsession.  I'm consumed by You.
Cold. Can't see. Can't think. Blood moving eerily. Playing Axis and allies. Can't speak.
You hit me the morning after. I don't like myself. I'm late for work. Again. I dissapointed my Father. Again. I Made bad decisions. Again. Even this sick soliloquy, is  no therapy for me anymore. You watch me. You'll stay for a while. Your face is painfully expressionless. Your eyes dull. You'll be back again. Like the cold winds and goosebumps. One leading to another. Fading, for only a while. If I make it this time I'll see you on the other side.
And if not, at least I'll, go in the light. Even if hell fire is all I right.
Maybe You'll be there waiting. And you won't ever go. I'd miss you. I'd miss you so.

drifting at sea
without
your voice the rudder
my soul
the wind
gusting and twirling
under
our constellations
now
now
catch and billow
righten
in joy
our dawn
rising on the edge
looking for
your smile
to me

In truth
In waiting
Through blue
Wide open
Heart sky
As you are
Expansively
Intimately
Always
Loved
Grounded free

Moon's light,
Reflected in this screen's bite.
Pale reflections,
of others glory in flight.

Artemis, oh, knowledge anew,
Overflowing, and empty,
Substance withdrew,
Only the absence feeling quite right.

The bird, unfurled again,
Makes one last dash to end the tension,
But the philosopher's king knows no bounds,
His emotions, long failed him.

And I'm alone, I implore.
A faint dream, a perchance, perhaps,
Passing out my naked membrane,
Evermore.

I'm a ******,
I look at blue skies,
Yearning for gray.

Oh, baby, I'm a ******,
I dream to be great,
and Stick myself in the Mundane.

****, I guess I'm a ******,
I need a woman,
Keep myself well locked away.

Turned out I was a ******...
I loved you so much,
But it led you to profane my...

I've always known I was a wierdo...
Apathy never seemed  anything but pleasing,
Not since I buried my heart,

Now I close my eyes, in front of my friends,
A ******, Unabetted thoughts racing through my head,
It's just another