My heart beats
with a murmur
Its unsteady nerves
store anxiety:
confusion,
uncertainty,
self-loathing,
and depression
Occasionally,
it goes into
convulsions
as I feel the fallout
of the unhealthy
things I do,
and I wonder
whether anything
I'm doing in life
is right
Drinking, drugs,
staying up all night,
thinking with my ****
I just hope
one of these
heart attacks
I've been having
either wakes me up
or kills me,
because this
is no way
to live my life