Nov 2014
Be careful in this cess pool of a world if you wear your heart on your sleeve because there are vultures & wolves forever searching for their next meal. They won't think twice about consuming every inch of you, picking each bone clean. They delight in your suffering and find strength as a pack. They seek out your weaknesses and what they don't find they will surely create.
Here let me give you some fodder on which you can dine.
I had 2 surgeries this past year, one because they were looking for cancer. I have to be checked yearly, but no doubt you'll assume I somehow did something to deserve this.
Eight years ago I thought my white horse had arrived, left my job as a teacher (my room was Club Med), gave up my apartment, my car, close friends, family, and country, only to find out 2 months in that it was all a lie.
Your Pastor says divorce is not an option, so you commit to trying to make the fiction somehow work, but after years of chaos and too many grey days you consider, maybe, just maybe you deserve something better than the hand you've been dealt.
So you throw those cards into the wind and you start from your own ground zero.
Your terrified of an unknown future, but more terrified of remaining in a life so monotonous that you question why you're even bothering to wake up each day.
You prepare to put your older dog asleep, you're not sure what will come of the other, you have boxes to pack for your 9th move in 8 years at a time when families are coming together and yours is coming to an end.
Your drowning in a sea of work but you have no choice but to somehow find 28 hours in a day because success has finally shown up at your door & you've worked way too hard to watch it simply turn around and leave.
You paint nearly everyday, exhausted, but can't sleep, you can't remember your last break, let alone vacation.
Your paints are quite frankly your only motivation.
You want to scream, run, hide, find some type of escape, but you're given no such relief. All that remains is an awkward ride to the airport, a hug, and a fare thee well to a chapter of your life you wish you could've ended sooner if only you had discovered your worth.
Is that enough for you?
Because I could give you so much more...let my life story be an after dinner mint so no one has to smell my flesh on your breath.
Let the floods and fires come, I'm done with this world.
I have never belonged and I no longer care to.
An army of one, content on my own.
Here let me give you some fodder on which you can dine.
I had 2 surgeries this past year, one because they were looking for cancer. I have to be checked yearly, but no doubt you'll assume I somehow did something to deserve this.
Eight years ago I thought my white horse had arrived, left my job as a teacher (my room was Club Med), gave up my apartment, my car, close friends, family, and country, only to find out 2 months in that it was all a lie.
Your Pastor says divorce is not an option, so you commit to trying to make the fiction somehow work, but after years of chaos and too many grey days you consider, maybe, just maybe you deserve something better than the hand you've been dealt.
So you throw those cards into the wind and you start from your own ground zero.
Your terrified of an unknown future, but more terrified of remaining in a life so monotonous that you question why you're even bothering to wake up each day.
You prepare to put your older dog asleep, you're not sure what will come of the other, you have boxes to pack for your 9th move in 8 years at a time when families are coming together and yours is coming to an end.
Your drowning in a sea of work but you have no choice but to somehow find 28 hours in a day because success has finally shown up at your door & you've worked way too hard to watch it simply turn around and leave.
You paint nearly everyday, exhausted, but can't sleep, you can't remember your last break, let alone vacation.
Your paints are quite frankly your only motivation.
You want to scream, run, hide, find some type of escape, but you're given no such relief. All that remains is an awkward ride to the airport, a hug, and a fare thee well to a chapter of your life you wish you could've ended sooner if only you had discovered your worth.
Is that enough for you?
Because I could give you so much more...let my life story be an after dinner mint so no one has to smell my flesh on your breath.
Let the floods and fires come, I'm done with this world.
I have never belonged and I no longer care to.
An army of one, content on my own.
