paranoid chapter 1


Charlottes p.o.v

i cry until im sick, coughing and short of breath. i cry hysterically. i feel like i have been hit in the chest with a stray bullet. and i dont look up until i can't feel him there anymore. eventhough i know deep inside that the illousion of charlie will come back, it always comes back... nomatter where i am. busses, street corners, asylums. mom and dad think that if we move far away that everything will change. that i'll stop seeing charlie. that i'll be 'miraculously cured'. that they'l finaly have there daughter back. and that they will finaly be able to move on, and stop grieving the loss of their only son. i don't blame them, everything in the old house reminds me of charlie, too. but i know that when we move that nothing will change, that theres no hope for me, that i'm just as dead as he is. but thats not what hurts the most. what hurts the most is knowing that i'm going to let them down, and destroy any little bit of hope that they might have had for me. i am nothing but a burden. and there is nothing that i can do about it. i cry until im tired, and i slip into a deep sleep.